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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you be p*ssed off or am I overreacting?

38 replies

theemojisthough · 28/12/2022 11:27

A few days ago a family member said they were dropping some presents off for our DC.
We were really poorly so they dropped them off on the doorstep.

Christmas morning we opened the lovely presents for our DC.
I took a picture of DC with the presents and sent them a message saying 'thank you uncle X and auntie X for my presents'.

My DP then also sent them a message thanking them for dc's presents.
They replied with a thumbs up emoji.

Anyway, today I get a message from a different family member asking if we liked DC's presents......... Turns out THEY got the presents for DC.

I am feeling really annoyed that the person I thanked didn't correct me and let me know that they were from someone else.

Am I overreacting? I'm wondering if I wasn't clear enough when I messaged them thanking them but I've re read the messages and I was really clear that I was thanking them specifically.

OP posts:
PunishmentRoundupWithJoon · 28/12/2022 11:30

So, the people who said they would drop presents off, didn't? Is that right?

Iceballoon · 28/12/2022 11:31

YANBU

I don’t understand why they would take credit for the presents they clearly didn’t buy!

Onnabugeisha · 28/12/2022 11:32

It’s irritating, but not worthy of being pissed off imho.

WunWun · 28/12/2022 11:32

I would say "Sorry, I'm really confused. Why didn't you tell me the presents were from *?"

TrentCrimm · 28/12/2022 11:32

Did the presents not have tags on?

AutumnCrow · 28/12/2022 11:34

This is a bewilderingly unlikely scenario in my world.

Lampshadered · 28/12/2022 11:35

Did you thank one half of the couple who has no involvement in present buying, and maybe assumed that the other partner had bought those gifts?

Hopeyoursproutsarealreadyon · 28/12/2022 11:37

When I had our dc mil turned up with a huge box of beautifully gift wrapped gifts.. She closed the kitchen door with just me and her in...
After thanking her fil came in and asked had I liked the presents off mil's boss....
Mil was fuming.

I had never even met mil's boss...
Mil's gift was a Big Fat Nothing.

Nimbostratus100 · 28/12/2022 11:39

Maybe they assumed the message went to the other people as well as to them, or that the other people had added their name to the label too.

WunWun · 28/12/2022 11:39

Oh hang on, perhaps they just only realised they hadn't said "We have some presents to drop off from Grandma (or whoever)" until you thanked them and then we're too embarrassed to say?

Original poster
theemojisthough · 28/12/2022 11:41

TrentCrimm · 28/12/2022 11:32

Did the presents not have tags on?

No they just had DC's name on.

OP posts:
Original poster
theemojisthough · 28/12/2022 11:53

PunishmentRoundupWithJoon · 28/12/2022 11:30

So, the people who said they would drop presents off, didn't? Is that right?

Someone dropped presents off (my brother). I've sent him a message thanking him and his partner with a picture of DC with the presents as I assumed they were from them.

However, a different family member has messaged asking if we liked the presents. They were from someone else. But my brother and his partner haven't corrected me when I thanked them. They didn't say 'oh they're actually from *'

OP posts:
WunWun · 28/12/2022 11:54

They were probably embarrassed about the misunderstanding. Or did they say "No worries 😊" or whatever?

Original poster
theemojisthough · 28/12/2022 11:54

@Hopeyoursproutsarealreadyon

God I bet she was mortified! How cheeky!

That's what I feel disappointed with too. That they didn't even but my DC a present. It's her first Christmas and I've bought for their kids for the last 18 years

OP posts:
Windblownwife · 28/12/2022 11:55

Lampshadered · 28/12/2022 11:35

Did you thank one half of the couple who has no involvement in present buying, and maybe assumed that the other partner had bought those gifts?

Very sensible and hopefully accurate suggestion!

Onnabugeisha · 28/12/2022 12:00

theemojisthough · 28/12/2022 11:53

Someone dropped presents off (my brother). I've sent him a message thanking him and his partner with a picture of DC with the presents as I assumed they were from them.

However, a different family member has messaged asking if we liked the presents. They were from someone else. But my brother and his partner haven't corrected me when I thanked them. They didn't say 'oh they're actually from *'

Show quote history

Are you sure they didn’t go in together and all buy the presents? As in your brother and the other relative clubbed together?

Original poster
theemojisthough · 28/12/2022 12:02

@Windblownwife @Lampshadered

I sent in a group WhatsApp a thank you to both of them. They replied with an emoji. DP also thanked them in the group WhatsApp

But it was neither of them who bought the presents. And they didn't tell me they were from someone else. It feels like they've basically taken credit for someone else buying gifts for my DC.

OP posts:
Original poster
theemojisthough · 28/12/2022 12:02

@Onnabugeisha
No. They were the only presents in the bag. And they did not club together. They were bought solely by the other family member.

OP posts:
VladmirsPoutine · 28/12/2022 12:05

So essentially your brother dropped off the presents and you thanked him assuming the gifts were from him and he didn't correct you that the presents were actually from aunty Gertrude who messaged to ask if you liked the gifts as she was the one who bought the presents?

In that case yanbu.

RudolphTheGreat · 28/12/2022 12:06

Yam I

RudolphTheGreat · 28/12/2022 12:06

Yanbu!

Lolreally · 28/12/2022 12:06

Could they think you were thanking them for dropping off? As surely they would assume that like most normal people the gift givers had put their name on the gift ie: to * love from .

SillyLittleBiscuit · 28/12/2022 12:07

I’d put it down to your brother assuming they were labelled correctly and you were saying thanks for delivering.

WillTryNotToBeGrumpy · 28/12/2022 12:13

I would message back and say that I've just spoken to ActualGiftGiver and you're both grateful that DB dropped off the present and isn't ActualGiftGiver so thoughtful with gifts.

ThorFull · 28/12/2022 12:14

You’re not overreacting.
its fucking hurtful when family ignore your kids on their birthdays and Christmas.
my bitch sister is doing that to my little boys. They’re old enough to understand now so I gave money to my neice to buy my kids some gifts. Would have Been awkward handing gifts to neices while my kids got nothing.
Makes me realise she’s never given a shit about my kids. Only when it benefits her. But this is a whole other story which I shan’t detail your thread with.