I am really struggling atm. Have Mum here for Xmas and a few days' holiday. She is 80 and has cancer so bearing that in mind I'm trying not to snap but she has some terrible habits that are really getting me down. When she goes for a shower she will often walk across the hall back and forth to her bedroom from the bathroom naked. My husband and 19 year old daughter are here and don't need to see that. She also has issues with faecal incontinence which she tries to hide/pretend doesn't happen so I'm often finding poo on the shower floor or round the toilet etc. She pooed her pants 3x yesterday and just washes the clothes in the sink (the one where we brush our teeth!) with no soap etc and hangs these half cleaned garments on our back verandah chairs where we sit to eat meals. I am trying to be kind and understanding but I wish to christ she'd just use the continence pants the palliative nurses have given her. Pretending it isn't happening hasn;'t worked for the past 5 years and she just won't listen. Its getting to the point I don't want her to stay here as I'm nearly vomiting with the poop cleaning etc. AIBU?