Gutted - visitor smoking in bedroom

[Millie1977]

Posting for support, had a very busy Christmas with various relatives visiting.

The current one smokes, and we can smell it coming down the stairs. My husband has been in and asked if he is smoking in house and said no must be his coat.

It stinks. We have a asthmatic son and visitor is in spare room where all my clothes are kept.

I am gutted someone would be so disrespectful in a non smokers home.

AIBU or do I need to wind it in?

Terrible. We hosted teen international students for years they were told on arrival no smoking. Two sets did. I rang the language school and kicked them out immediately. One girl couldn’t believe it - think no one had ever said no to her in her life! It’s the lack of respect not to mention long term damage.

That’s outrageous! I’d simply say, ‘I’m sorry but you can’t smoke in our house. If that’s impossible for you, you need to leave’.

We had someone here last week that smokes. He went into the garden to smoke but he really stank when he came back in. Even that smell from his breath and clothes lingered for a day or so. Yuck.

Sorry, I woukd of thrown him out immediately , why would you put up with that filthy habit in your home.

i smoke it doesnt set off a standard alarm-i wouldnt dare smoke in someone elses house its just rude

This is disgusting. If mine did this just once they would not stay again. You need to put your foot down.

I'm a smoker and I absolutely wouldn't smoke in someone's house...ever. I don't tolerate in my own home, and I know that makes me a hypocrite, but I would definitely ask someone to leave if they abused my hospitality like that.

Oh my God how absolutely disgusting and disrespectful.

I smoke and I would be fucking LIVID. I don't smoke in my own house (always out the back) so anyone who did would be on their arse on the kerb in seconds. I can't even abide having the door open and it blowing in.

The level of disrespect of someone to do this in your home is unreal and to me unfathomable. Get them out.

Have skimmed the thread, but if you have bicarbonate of soda,sprinkle on the carpet, leave it for a few hours and hoover. It will take some the smell away.

It's not 'smokers'. The posts on this thread from smokers saying they would not do it show that. It's one person who is a smoker doing it. Because they're an entitled dick who also happens to smoke - if they were in a non drinking/vegan household, they'd be knocking back the scotch and eating bacon rolls, a nut free house, they'd probably be eating Snickers bars. All because they don't respect their host's right to decide what happens in her home.

I'm a smoker and smoke in my own home like a dirty wee bastard but I would never in a million years do it in someone else's home unless they were a similar indoor smoking dirty wee bastard

How could you not be bothered by some indulging in this disgusting and filthy habit in you house.

Just WOW as a current smoker I dont even smoke in my own house let alone anyone elses. I wouldnt even dream of considering asking let alone doing it without asking! Get rid of that ungrateful, selfish person

I've noticed that some people will justify it by smoking 'out of the window' and think that means it's ok and very respectful because it's not technically in the house, whereas in fact it always blows back in and is just as disgusting.

It's just in keeping with the entitled attitude of lots of smokers. Not all smokers BTW, before smokers leap on with replies of 'I'm the most considerate person in the world'

You absolutely do not need to wind it in, it’s your fucking home and you understandably don’t want it stinking of smoke. I’d cut their visit short now tbh, your child’s health is more than a good enough reason to do this.

I think you should scale back on hosting tbh as it sounds like you have been chasing about all week. It's out of order to smoke in a guest bedroom.

The smoking inside is of course awful and was very rude.

That aside, I'm concerned also about the bigger picture of you having so many guests and so little help in hosting them.

I host at Christmas for the family and tbh I make it very clear that having got the house ready for everyone, done most of the food shopping and cooking that any chores beyond that are not my responsibility and they all have to muck in (which they do willingly), doing the washing up/loading/unloading the dishwasher, making drinks and pushing the hoover round if needed.

In addition they all arrive with a contribution such as copious drinks (alcoholic and non alcoholic), cheese boards, puddings, starters, chocolates etc, so I can just focus on the main course meal.

Not that I've ever asked but on departure they've all got into the habit of stripping their beds and putting the bedding in the utility ready to wash.

Essentially, everyone pulls together so even though most of the effort falls to me (and to a lesser extent DH) it doesn't mean I'm absolutely run ragged and get plenty of time to put my feet up (with a tea someone will have made for me or a glass of wine) and relax when they are busy cleaning up after mealtimes.

I think people forget that it's very different to hosting a friends for dinner and one overnight where I wouldn't expect them to be pitching in but It's a lot of effort to host multiple family members for more than a couple of days and tbh I simply wouldn't do it if people weren't going to lift a finger to help.

I don't know many smokers as nearly everyone I know is either a non smoker or an ex smoker, but the few smokers I do know are all extremely considerate.

However, one thing that I think most smokers underestimate is how much the smell clings to them when they have just had a fag. My sister had to ask my cousin not to smoke just before getting in the car because the car stinks if they get in it straight after a fag. My cousin had no idea it was so bad and apologised.

All the smokers I know don't even smoke in their own home they go outside.

What a rude piece of shit, tell them to leave.

I’m a smoker. I wouldn’t dream of doing it. It’s downright rude and totally disrespectful to you and your home.
I don’t even smoke in my own home!!! I can’t believe in this day and age someone would think that’s ok!

It’s rude. You’re well within your rights to call him out on it.

Go to guest and say "We told you why we don't allow smoking in the house. We won't accept that risk to DC's health so please leave now"

Don't ever have them to stay again.

Smoke alarms do not detect cigarette smoke