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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Baby won’t sleep

41 replies

Sleepyv · 27/12/2022 21:39

I’m at my in-laws tonight after spending Christmas with friends. This is the 4th night and 2nd location my 28 month old has had to sleep at over Christmas. I’ve spent the past 2 hours trying to get her to sleep and she won’t settle. I’m hungry, thirsty,tired and my back aches. No one has checked on me or been concerned that I haven’t come downstairs. Aibu to be annoyed by this?

OP posts:
Sleepygrumpyandnothappy · 27/12/2022 21:41

I’m going to go for YANBU purely out of solidarity.

We were getting into a good routine with my five month old, but staying at the grandparents has definitely set us back. My MIL will at least text when I’m stuck in the bedroom to check they’re not being too loud.

UnpackThisMess · 27/12/2022 21:41

Wheres your partner? Just go down and tell him/her it's time to swap. Stop being a martyr.

pointythings · 27/12/2022 21:42

It's completely understandable that she's mega unsettled and it's completely unacceptable that your partner and the family aren't providing you with a break, drinks, food etc. YANBU.

luxxlisbon · 27/12/2022 21:42

A 2 and a half year old isn’t a baby.

If someone was upstairs trying to settle their child I wouldn’t go and interrupt.
Who are you expecting to check on you? Your in-laws or your husband?

Thesearmsofmine · 27/12/2022 21:44

I’m not surprised that a toddler doesn’t want to settle in that situation. Tbh I wouldn’t even be attempting a normal (half 7?) bedtime.

Merryoldgoat · 27/12/2022 21:46

Why put yourself through this? It’s Christmas. Just wait until she falls asleep and carry her up.

CoffeeNeeded2019 · 27/12/2022 21:47

You’re not being unreasonable to be fed up

its shit trying to settle toddlers to sleep sometimes, particularly when it’s a new environment and they’re out of routine

can you text your child’s other parent and ask them to swap with you if you can’t leave him/her to settle themselves?

I hope there’s a big drink waiting for you when you finally escape

fairgame84 · 27/12/2022 21:48

28th month old?
You mean 2 year old? A toddler not a baby.

123woop · 27/12/2022 21:48

First thing, she's not 28 months - she's 2 and a half. Secondly she's not a "baby" she's a toddler at best.

You are being unreasonable, you should have given up an hour ago and taken her downstairs to chill with the grandparents and presumably your partner and she can sleep when she's tired.

AnneLovesGilbert · 27/12/2022 21:50

Of course she’s unsettled, sounds like an exhausting few days, you can’t be surprised. Babies are much more portable than toddlers.

I wouldn’t be interfering if someone was trying to settle a toddler, you can guarantee they’ll be nodding off when you stick your head round the door and fuck it up. If you need a break then ask for one but I’d stop trying and just read her a story or something and she’ll nod off when she’s ready.

Hugasauras · 27/12/2022 21:51

Swap with your partner and go get some food and something to drink. When we are visiting I usually find it easier to keep DC up late, usually the excitement of being somewhere new keeps them going a while!

Hugasauras · 27/12/2022 21:52

Also when my husband disappears for ages when doing bedtime it's usually because he's also fallen asleep Grin so I tend to leave him to it! Do you have your phone on you to signal the alarm?!

Juicylychee · 27/12/2022 21:53

Baby???

AkoraEdelherb · 27/12/2022 21:54

Why is the child’s dad settling her too?

AkoraEdelherb · 27/12/2022 21:54

Isn’t*

Duttercup · 27/12/2022 21:54

I also have a 28 month old (or 2 year old, as I refer to her!) and she's been all over for Christmas. If she doesn't settle after 20-30 minutes, I just get her back up and give it another 30-45 minutes of pottering about and try again. What's the point of trying for two hours? Presumably you're both just deeply fed up at this point...

Also, no way I'd be trying solo for two hours. If she isn't going off for me, I always ask someone else to have a go.

So YABU for making yourself suffer for no reason.

Duttercup · 27/12/2022 21:56

@Hugasauras Yes, this! If someone had been gone two hours settling a toddler, I'd assume they'd drifted off too!

Original poster
Sleepyv · 27/12/2022 21:59

sorry typo-18 month old not 28 month old who I would of course refer to as a two year old!

OP posts:
qpmz · 27/12/2022 22:00

Bring the child downstairs if not settling after 20 mins. You can sit and enjoy food and drink with the relatives. Husband can then put him/her to bed in half an hour or so.

Blondeshavemorefun · 27/12/2022 22:02

luxxlisbon · 27/12/2022 21:42

A 2 and a half year old isn’t a baby.

If someone was upstairs trying to settle their child I wouldn’t go and interrupt.
Who are you expecting to check on you? Your in-laws or your husband?

This

Keep them up a bit longer if not settling

I wouldn't spend 2hrs settling at 2.5yrs

Not would I go and investigate what someone was doing

Blondeshavemorefun · 27/12/2022 22:03

Oh 18mth. Not 28

But same reply as my first

AnneLovesGilbert · 27/12/2022 22:06

It’s still too long trying to settle her. Is she still awake? If so jack it in.

somethingslastforever · 27/12/2022 22:06

YABU for:

  • referring to your DC as a toddler
  • saying 28 months instead of 2 year old.

YANBU for expecting your DH to check on you, even if it was only to see if you'd also fallen asleep. Ask him to try and settle her for a while, although if she's really unsettled and doesn't want to sleep I'd let routine go out the window until you go home.

somethingslastforever · 27/12/2022 22:07

somethingslastforever · 27/12/2022 22:06

YABU for:

  • referring to your DC as a toddler
  • saying 28 months instead of 2 year old.

YANBU for expecting your DH to check on you, even if it was only to see if you'd also fallen asleep. Ask him to try and settle her for a while, although if she's really unsettled and doesn't want to sleep I'd let routine go out the window until you go home.

Sorry didn't see your post that she's 18 months old, however I still don't think they're babies at that age personally.

Lcb123 · 27/12/2022 22:07

Sorry but that’s not a baby. I’d leave her alone in peace!