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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Baby won’t sleep

41 replies

Sleepyv · 27/12/2022 21:39

I’m at my in-laws tonight after spending Christmas with friends. This is the 4th night and 2nd location my 28 month old has had to sleep at over Christmas. I’ve spent the past 2 hours trying to get her to sleep and she won’t settle. I’m hungry, thirsty,tired and my back aches. No one has checked on me or been concerned that I haven’t come downstairs. Aibu to be annoyed by this?

OP posts:
luxxlisbon · 27/12/2022 22:11

Still not a baby at 18 months.
Either text your husband to take over since you obviously have your phone or take her back downstairs.
It’s not really reasonable to expect someone to pop up with a drink and a plate of snacks. No one is going to make a turkey sandwich and bring it up when they think you’re settling your child.

AnyRandomName · 27/12/2022 22:11

I can see three options:

  1. Let her be, leave her alone for a bit and then send DH up to try.
  1. Get DH to try now
  1. A reset, so down stairs or somewhere else (this for us was very rare, I didn't want to create a link between playing around at bedtime and reward with fun downstairs time but we probably did it once every 8 months and it would reset the whole situation and then they'd be less worked up and would sleep) and then DH takes her up.
55christmasmagic · 27/12/2022 22:17

YANBU. As someone with a toddler who is a horrendous sleeper no matter what we do- throwing him out of routine is absolutely awful and throws him off for days. He's grumpy screams cries and pulls on you if tired- but then takes an hour+ to settle. Someone should offer to swap.

Sukisal · 27/12/2022 22:23

I’d assume you’d fallen asleep, and I’d expect you to ask if you wanted assistance.

MolliciousIntent · 27/12/2022 22:25

Sukisal · 27/12/2022 22:23

I’d assume you’d fallen asleep, and I’d expect you to ask if you wanted assistance.

100% this

Coffeellama · 27/12/2022 22:27

Why do you need checking on? You clearly have a phone so text your DH if you need to swap/want a break. It’s understandable your toddler isn’t sleeping at the min, they are not a baby. Is your DH not taking turns every other night?

FlounderingFruitcake · 27/12/2022 22:32

They probably think you’ve fallen asleep! But with an 18 month old I’d go downstairs, get myself a stiff drink and let them stay up until they dropped or push them to sleep in the pushchair if they were obviously tired but kicking off at sleeping in an unfamiliar room, then put them in with me when I went to bed later.

NaatQ968 · 27/12/2022 22:32

I think some of the comments here are pretty harsh. I'd expect my partner to come check if I hadn't come downstairs in a bit... it's not always up to the mothers, sometimes people should offer help if they know she's been trying to settle a baby for TWO HOURS??

MolliciousIntent · 27/12/2022 22:41

NaatQ968 · 27/12/2022 22:32

I think some of the comments here are pretty harsh. I'd expect my partner to come check if I hadn't come downstairs in a bit... it's not always up to the mothers, sometimes people should offer help if they know she's been trying to settle a baby for TWO HOURS??

I'd expect my partner to come down if they needed help. If they didn't come down id assume they were asleep.

NoelleSnowman · 27/12/2022 22:43

YABU. An 18 month old is a toddler.

And as the mother of a toddler who I struggle to get to sleep, I would be fucking raging if someone came up to “check on me” and disrupted the whole thing.

NoelleSnowman · 27/12/2022 22:44

NaatQ968 · 27/12/2022 22:32

I think some of the comments here are pretty harsh. I'd expect my partner to come check if I hadn't come downstairs in a bit... it's not always up to the mothers, sometimes people should offer help if they know she's been trying to settle a baby for TWO HOURS??

She has a phone. Partner can check using that or OP could use it to ask for help.

NaatQ968 · 27/12/2022 23:00

I still think the partner should have even checked to make sure all was ok...

AnneLovesGilbert · 27/12/2022 23:02

NaatQ968 · 27/12/2022 23:00

I still think the partner should have even checked to make sure all was ok...

But several of us are sure we’d be annoyed if someone checked on us, there’s no one answer.

NaatQ968 · 27/12/2022 23:04

I agree with you but many posts are turning this on the OP, that I don't agree with.

Blondeshavemorefun · 27/12/2022 23:33

Why didn’t you text dh @Sleepyv after 30/60/90/120m

Oz188 · 18/03/2023 00:41

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