To upgrade my engagement ring?

[Thisismynamenow]

Hear me out - i'm not a spoilt ungrateful person.

My engagement ring is exactly what I wanted and i still love it to pieces, it's a very simple single solitare in 9ct white gold. My wedding ring is also 9ct white gold. I'm very happy with both!

We had our first born earlier this year, and i always (semi) joked I wanted an eternity ring as a push present and in exchange for destroying my body (definitely a joke).

Over christmas my husband surprises me with a beautiful eternity ring - exactly the one I pictured when I thought about it. I'm amazed he got me one, and I feel very lucky.

He knows I wish I had platinum rings, not for the glamour, but because I have to replate my white gold rings annually at the costs of £100 for the two, or they go yellow quickly (must be the sweat in my hands which makes it turn yellow quickly - but after 12 months they're very yellow!). So, the eternity ring he bought is platinum (queue me crying Christmas day when he gifted it to me because of his sentiment!)

It's such an extravagant purchase, so I told him to return it and get a cheaper white gold one, however he said no he wants me to keep the platinum one. However, with my other two rings being white gold i'm worried they may get damaged being next to platinum, I know you're not meant to mix metals next to each other.

I spoke to my husband again and told him my concerns and asked for my next big birthday (in 2 years) if he could get me a new wedding band in platinum, so it doesn't damage my white gold one, and he said yes - the one I like (a simple 2mm heavy court band) is currently on sale making it around £300 - so in a few years I imagine it wouldn't be too dissimilar. Or if prices go crazy, I'm happy to wait a few years, or have a combined birthday/christmas gift.

However, I would I never ask him to buy a new engagement ring since they're much more expensive (£1500+ for the platinum equivalent of my current one) and he doesn't have that spare cash around. So, would it be weird to buy myself a new engagement ring, or even get my current diamond reset into a platinum setting? (perhaps buying it around our 15 year anniversary next year?)

I don't want to ruin my current engagement ring by it being rubbed against a platinum band, but also, I don't want to upset my husband by asking him to return this ring as its such a thoughtful and loving gift/gesture and i'm happy to purchase this myself (as is he).

FYI - I appreciate this is a super privileged purchase to consider - that isn't lost on me - however I don't usually make big expensive purchases, whereas my husband is known to save and spend on himself regularly.

Definitely get your engagement ring diamond reset. It won’t cost anything like the same as a whole new ring.

I got my yellow gold engagement ring redone into platinum. Looks so much better.

I upgraded from a yellow gold to platinum-I’m really pleased with them, go for it! We looked at having the diamond reset in a platinum band but it was really expensive so we just went with a new ring!

(queue me crying Christmas day when he gifted it to me because of his sentiment!)

Can I ask what the queue means here?

Get your current diamond reset in platinum when you get a platinum wedding band. You can't leave it as gold, as you say it will wear and it's already costing you money to continually have it replated. Run it past your DH though just in case he suggests upgrading the diamond too 😉

You're not being unreasonable at all. It's just the smart thing to do to protect your rings. I'd get the diamond reset though, you'll save a lot compared to buying a new ring. I envy you! My engagement and wedding set are platinum and I've wanted an eternity band but the cost for the design I want in platinum is eye watering... Maybe for the third DC 😅

When you consider how much you’ll save by not having your rings replated every year, it makes sense to upgrade. Also you are the one paying for and wearing it so if you can afford it, do it.

Definitely get your diamond reset.

Sorry but I can’t stand the term “push” present! It makes me squirm!

The OP has mistaken ‘queue’ for ‘cue’.

Just get the current stone reset in platinum.

The OP has mistaken ‘queue’ for ‘cue’.

As the pp well knew

It sounds like you are grateful for the gifts your husband has given you, and you appreciate the sentiment behind them. It's understandable that you have concerns about mixing metals, and it's okay to discuss your preferences with your husband. It might be a good idea to consider getting a platinum wedding band in a few years, and potentially resetting your engagement ring in platinum at a later date. You can also consider buying a new engagement ring for yourself if that is something you would like to do. Ultimately, it's important to communicate with your husband and find a solution that works for both of you.

Yep - pp perfectly aware.

Dsis has worn mixed metal rings for 25 years with no real damage, mine were mixed as well when I was married, only for 9 years mind you.

Most of the Royal brides wear mixed metals. Kate’s engagement ring is platinum and her wedding ring is gold. I don’t think it’s that much of an issue.

Platinum should be a downgrade at current prices too!

Go to an independent jeweller on a small parade or high st (not city centre) and talk to the jeweller. I had a very reasonable quote for resetting stones and adding an extra.

She obviously meant cue.

OP, cue and queue are 2 different words.

Do you feel clever/somewhat superior after that comment?

I can never understand why posters feel the need to pull up others, or try to make them feel bad, for an obvious typo in an informal forum by pretending they dont understand. They make themselves look like utter fools. It is like being back in a 1980s classroom where inadequate teachers couldnt help themselves bullying children 🤔

YABVVVU not to include photos of these beautiful rings 😁

Why not? I had my engagement ring made into an eternity ring!

Some smug gits here - one poster being a b about the OP using the word ‘queue’ in error and another just posting to say the word ‘push’ present makes her squirm.

Maybe both these posters should wriggle away or to be less polite, bog off.

Absolutely upgrade if you want to, but do talk to your DH first.

My DH bought me a beautiful 'new' engagement ring for Christmas (I chose it, he knows I'm very fussy about jewellery) because my original one, bought almost 34 years ago, needs resizing and I haven't worn it for ages. I'll get round to doing it, but it's nice to have another ring with a different gemstone as an alternative.

@Redlocks30 Yes, thanks for mocking my poor literacy skills lol. It's always been poor, however baby brain and being frazzled from hosting for 4 days straight has made it much worse than usual (or i'm at least using that excuse!)

@WeepingSomnambulist I know 🙃i'm just being stupid tonight (autocorrect made it worse from que to queue!) Blaming baby brain (i can use that excuse forever right?!)