To upgrade my engagement ring?

[Thisismynamenow]

Hear me out - i'm not a spoilt ungrateful person.

My engagement ring is exactly what I wanted and i still love it to pieces, it's a very simple single solitare in 9ct white gold. My wedding ring is also 9ct white gold. I'm very happy with both!

We had our first born earlier this year, and i always (semi) joked I wanted an eternity ring as a push present and in exchange for destroying my body (definitely a joke).

Over christmas my husband surprises me with a beautiful eternity ring - exactly the one I pictured when I thought about it. I'm amazed he got me one, and I feel very lucky.

He knows I wish I had platinum rings, not for the glamour, but because I have to replate my white gold rings annually at the costs of £100 for the two, or they go yellow quickly (must be the sweat in my hands which makes it turn yellow quickly - but after 12 months they're very yellow!). So, the eternity ring he bought is platinum (queue me crying Christmas day when he gifted it to me because of his sentiment!)

It's such an extravagant purchase, so I told him to return it and get a cheaper white gold one, however he said no he wants me to keep the platinum one. However, with my other two rings being white gold i'm worried they may get damaged being next to platinum, I know you're not meant to mix metals next to each other.

I spoke to my husband again and told him my concerns and asked for my next big birthday (in 2 years) if he could get me a new wedding band in platinum, so it doesn't damage my white gold one, and he said yes - the one I like (a simple 2mm heavy court band) is currently on sale making it around £300 - so in a few years I imagine it wouldn't be too dissimilar. Or if prices go crazy, I'm happy to wait a few years, or have a combined birthday/christmas gift.

However, I would I never ask him to buy a new engagement ring since they're much more expensive (£1500+ for the platinum equivalent of my current one) and he doesn't have that spare cash around. So, would it be weird to buy myself a new engagement ring, or even get my current diamond reset into a platinum setting? (perhaps buying it around our 15 year anniversary next year?)

I don't want to ruin my current engagement ring by it being rubbed against a platinum band, but also, I don't want to upset my husband by asking him to return this ring as its such a thoughtful and loving gift/gesture and i'm happy to purchase this myself (as is he).

My engagement ring is a mixed platinum and yellow gold ring which sits next to a platinum band. Granted only been 10 years but no damage so far, but it will likely rub the plating off your white gold rings even more quickly.

I would hold off getting them refilled again and save the money towards an upgrade in the setting.

Replated not refilled!

You should queue to get a new ring.

Thats good to know! I mean ideally, I'd love to go all platinum at some point, so I don't have to replate regularly. But knowing it's not going to wear super quickly means i'm less worried about mixing in the meantime (which could realistically be 5+ years as its' really not a priority!)

I think it would be reasonable to get your engagement ring reset in platinum. It might be cheaper than you think. I’ve had white gold then platinum and it is much better in terms of the yellowing and you.l save on the costs of getting it replaced every year.

I’m asking from a place of total ignorance here, but can you get your gold engagement ring plated with platinum instead of white gold next time it’s due? Is that possible?

otherwise your plan sounds sensible to get the stone reset in a couple of years.

Thanks all! I didn't want to come across as weird or ungrateful/spoilt for buying a new ring - i'll start saving😁
But glad to know mixed metals doesnt wear too quickly :)

OP your DH sounds lovely and so thoughtful!

Could you get a second hand platinum ring and have your stone reset? That would work out a lot cheaper

You're overthinking it. Get it reset into platinum if you want to, would be an easy job for a qualified jeweller.

I find 9ct gold to be pretty hard wearing although it tarnishes very easily. The only metal I've dented is 925 silver.

There is very little gold in 9ct gold. In fact in some countries it’s not even a recognised standard it’s so low.

This makes it very hard wearing alloy
but I’d use it as an excuse for an upgrade!

I think you’d be unreasonable to replace them completely but I’d certainly consider having my engagement ring reset into platinum and replicating my wedding band.
I’m not sure they’ll damage each other per se, as Platinum is a much softer metal. My three rings are all platinum and ideally they need polished every 6m to keep them shiny otherwise they scuff and look dull (I don’t do it as often as this as can’t be bothered)

Get the diamond re set or look at pre loved rings. When we got engaged we didn't have much money, I wanted platinum as I didn't want the hassle of re plating white gold, so I got secondhand.

My wedding ring is white gold and my engagement ring is platinum - they've been next to each other 100% of the time (I never take them off) for nearly 9 years now and no sign of any damage.

I heartily wish I'd gotten a platinum wedding band too as it is a pain re-plating the white gold - but I'd never consider replacing it because of the sentimentality. This is the band I had on our wedding day and it can't be replaced. I think DH would probably be secretly quite hurt if I suggested it.

If you can, go to the Jewellery Quarter in Birmingham and get your rings made for you in platinum. Both my husband and I had our wedding rings made there (mine was very tricky as it had to fit with a marquise cut diamond engagement ring) and it was much cheaper and much more special than buying them off the shelf at a jewellery shop. Plus, the price of platinum has fallen, and what you pay will be largely determined by the weight of the metal used, so you’ll be getting an extra bargain! Happy to pass on the name of the shop and the owner if you need it 😀