To think AIBU is just a viper pit

[BigMama32]

I’ve read through loads of different threads today and there’s everything from the sarcastic to just downright cyber bullying on AIBU
its batshit!

Not really in all honesty. I think there are people who love to think of it as such, and take pride in being one of the 'vipers', but its certainly not the hotbed of scathing seering wit its purported to be. The posters smart and witty enough to make for good vipers are generally not spiteful enough to post unkindly. The nasty ones usually just come out with clichéd generic insults and phrases that have long lost their sting from over use.

Yanbu. The first few replies set the tone and consequentially how the thread will go. If the first reply is negative the whole thread will be.

There is a difference between dispensing honest plain speaking advice that the OP may need to hear to help them and just sheer nastiness. This is lost on many on here.

Didn’t say I mind the vipers nest. Personally I find it quite entertaining. Today though some of the usual offenders seem to be extra venomous ooof

I think you're right, it does seem worse over the the last few days. For example, somebody complained that they'd been invited to a wedding reception in somebody's house, no drinks were provided and they had to buy their own takeaway. IRL, NOBODY (apart from total tightarse CFers) would think paying for your own meal at somebody's reception is acceptable, but on here, she was ripped apart, with some people bitching 'I bet they had a great time after you left, though', 'takeaway sounds great, you don't have to have a 3 course meal in a hotel, you know' and others saying 'we had fish and chips for our wedding reception, what's wrong with that, are you saying we were wrong?', even though they actually paid for their guests, so not the same scenario at all.

So I just think some MNers love to start an argument about absolutely anything and others are just a bit dim. A bit like real life people, I suppose 🤷‍♀️.

I also find if the first few posters misread (intentionally or otherwise) the original post it tends to ‘stick’ and then all other replies are a bit pointless

Property… hmmm… you clearly haven’t met @DeadHouseBounce

🙄

There is a difference between dispensing honest plain speaking advice that the OP may need to hear to help them and just sheer nastiness. This is lost on many on here.

well said 🙏🏼

Yanbu
Aibu is very useful for information and very entertaining but I would never see it as a place for support. There are some hilarious threads on here but there are also some regular posters who are deeply unhappy

Sorry didn’t know this had been raised here before! Granted I didn’t look

At least once a month over he last few months.

AIBU is blunt.
MN as a whole offers lots of great advice and support.

Yet, if you read your e-mail from MN, it will tell you that AIBU is the most popular board by far.
Read into that what you will.

It's such fun to read, though... 🤭

Haha yes 😆

Some sections. Property, money and cost of living are nice and calm with lots of helpful posters

Some of the education threads are really supportive, and there was a lovely thread the other day with posters supporting an OP in an abusive relationship.

Ages ago someone suggested renaming AIBU ‘Petty Gripes’ which would be accurate. It was the home of Penis Beaker so not a topic to be taken seriously IMO plus trolls everywhere.
But everyone posts on it ‘for traffic’ 🤷‍♀️

Perfect example.

Agreed!

Yep anyone who uses it for 'traffic' deserves everything they get, stop pretending you are innocent and play the game.

My theory is that they think it makes them interesting. They are obviously not charismatic people irl.

WWYD was for advice and AIBU was for tough love and 'invites' criticism. It can be harsh but also very funny

@Sparklingbrook haha that’s a good idea, we should lobby mumsnet for it

If you read enough to identify "usual offenders", do you report them?

If you read everyone's tone as "angry" or "bitter" then that's the impression you will form. If you assume positive intent for most people, you can read the same posts in an entirely different way.

I've watched so many people declare others are angry/bitter/bullying/whatever simply for calmly expressing an opposing view. If you're reading everything as angry that says more about your own perception given that it's only text on a screen with no tone, body language, emotional expression, knowledge of the person, etc.

Just because someone doesn't agree with you that doesn't mean they are attacking you.

AIBU is surely for entertainment it's definitely not somewhere for sound advice . There are a whole gamut of posters who seem hellbent on just disagreeing with an OP as a kind of sport . Others are just plain nasty throwing insults but not adding anything to the discussion.
I don't know why but when I joined because it's called Mumsnet I thought it would be a forum of civilised debate . How wrong was I . There may be snippets of usefulness in a thread but they are drowned out by trolls .

There was a lovely thread where people offered loads of technical support to save someone's Christmas Day.

People forget that there is a real person on the receiving end of what they post. Or at least I hope it's that - the alternative is much nastier.