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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to not go to see family?

56 replies

Corporatepreggolady · 27/12/2022 08:39

I'm 33 weeks pregnant and had an absolute nightmare day yesterday - driving home from Christmas with DH, clutch died on car 300 miles from home. Cue six or so very stressful hours of AA rescue, finding a hire car to get back, leaving my broken car outside a closed garage which (like all garages) won't be open til tomorrow because of Bank Holidays. Got home at 9.30.

Today, we'd planned to go and see my in-laws. I'm just exhausted and not in a good mental or emotional state after yesterday. And very anxious about all the ringing around I'll have to do at 8am tomorrow when the garage opens - will they take the car or will I need to get it towed somewhere else? Will my warranty pay out or not? How will I manage the 10 round trip to get my car back?

DH is very cross about not going. He says we'll just stay here and be miserable. And he's accusing me of just not wanting to go - which really isn't true, I would love to see my in-laws and just don't feel up to it. I'm also sad that he's being like this instead of understanding or sympathetic.

What do you think?

OP posts:
Evergreen82738 · 27/12/2022 11:48

OneDayFri · 27/12/2022 11:26

If the situation was reversed and it was your parents that needed visiting, would you still prefer to stay in bed? Sometimes, it's right to get out of commitments by blaming fatigue and Pregnancy but in this case, the right thing would be to honour the promise of the visit and go see your ILs. If it were your parents that needed visiting, I'm sure you'd want to go.

This, totally

Objectionhearsayspeculation · 27/12/2022 12:31

OneDayFri · 27/12/2022 11:26

If the situation was reversed and it was your parents that needed visiting, would you still prefer to stay in bed? Sometimes, it's right to get out of commitments by blaming fatigue and Pregnancy but in this case, the right thing would be to honour the promise of the visit and go see your ILs. If it were your parents that needed visiting, I'm sure you'd want to go.

Can't answer for the OP but in my case when I was in late pregnancy, stressed and upset it absolutely would include my own parents I wouldn't travel to in the same situation. There's no point setting yourself on fire to keep others warm and when you could literally give birth at any time it's not unreasonable to just need time to rest and de stress without feeling obligated to anyone, whichever side of the family.

ApiratesaysYarrr · 27/12/2022 12:36

Objectionhearsayspeculation · 27/12/2022 12:31

Can't answer for the OP but in my case when I was in late pregnancy, stressed and upset it absolutely would include my own parents I wouldn't travel to in the same situation. There's no point setting yourself on fire to keep others warm and when you could literally give birth at any time it's not unreasonable to just need time to rest and de stress without feeling obligated to anyone, whichever side of the family.

Show quote history

when you could literally give birth at any time

The OP is 33 weeks pregnant, using phrases like this are just being overdramatic.

Original poster
Corporatepreggolady · 27/12/2022 12:43

Thank you everyone for your comments. We've talked about it and the plan is this: rest up today and stay home, then see how we feel tomorrow morning and maybe go then. DH said sorry for being upset, too. Feeling very relieved to just be able to sit with my book today.

OP posts:
Original poster
Corporatepreggolady · 27/12/2022 12:47

And I do appreciate the 'suck it up' argument! I'm normally pretty good at sucking it up, but today feel I'd be pouring from an empty jug so to speak.

OP posts:
Objectionhearsayspeculation · 27/12/2022 21:50

Glad you got a rest Op.
@ApiratesaysYarrr I'll be sure to tell my 32 weeker eldest dd and my 28 weeker cousin that

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