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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be upset that my partner said we’re only get married for tax reasons?

40 replies

Angrymum202 · 26/12/2022 21:24

I announced to my family yesterday that we are planning on getting married next year after 4 years being engaged. First thing out of my partners mouth was that it’s only for tax reasons.. he’s now saying I have psychological issues for being upset over this.

OP posts:
Aprilx · 26/12/2022 21:25

Was he trying to be funny?

RudsyFarmer · 26/12/2022 21:26

I didn’t think there were any tax benefits anymore unless he’s talking about inheritance tax.

Singlebutmarried · 26/12/2022 21:27

And you’re marrying him why?

In all seriousness, tone has a lot to do with it. We joked about tax reasons when we got married.

If completely serious, and you earn over £12,570 a year, jokes on him as there is no relief.

userh79 · 26/12/2022 21:27

I'm assuming it was a joke....?

MolesOnPoles · 26/12/2022 21:27

I’d assume he’s joking, unless he’s an arsehole more generally?

foobio · 26/12/2022 21:28

Was it intended as a joke? Very little tax benefit in being married now, if he has debts or you have wealth on the other hand...

Original poster
Angrymum202 · 26/12/2022 21:29

We’re in Germany so there’s a 17% tax relief benefit for us both. 😩

OP posts:
Melon9 · 26/12/2022 21:30

Well, he could gift you assets without having to pay cgt too. Is he a wealthy man? Are you wealthy and he has plans for your assets?

I'd assume this was a joke. It's worrying that you think it's for real.

Why have you mentioned the 4 year engagement? Has he been dragging his feet and now suddenly feels its time?

Melon9 · 26/12/2022 21:31

Angrymum202 · 26/12/2022 21:29

We’re in Germany so there’s a 17% tax relief benefit for us both. 😩

Ooo, that is worth getting married for!

I'd still think it's a joke tho.

Oysterbabe · 26/12/2022 21:31

Was he joking?

CrystalCoco · 26/12/2022 21:34

Yeah I don't find it a funny joke either, my 'D'H came away with something similar years and years after we got married and he came across as a right arsehole - which I happily pointed out. It's a dick thing to say.

userh79 · 26/12/2022 21:37

Crikey, I'd be marrying for that too.

Aprilx · 26/12/2022 21:38

Angrymum202 · 26/12/2022 21:29

We’re in Germany so there’s a 17% tax relief benefit for us both. 😩

He sort of has a point then. I think I would make that joke too. 😃

saltinesandcoffeecups · 26/12/2022 21:46

And I regularly make the joke that my DH’s pension means more to me than his happiness. (Usually in relation to him partaking in something legal, but not allowed by his employer). I tell him he has plenty of time for fun and happiness after he retires.

He knows I love him to bits and wouldn’t want to be with anyone but him. We both would make the same tax joke.

My advice is to lighten up.

Sunnytwobridges · 26/12/2022 22:16

This would annoy me unless he was joking of course. The fact he says you have psychological issues is more of an issue to me. Not sure I would be okay with that.

UsingChangeofName · 26/12/2022 22:23

Why is the vote completely opposite from the comments ?

I mean, I know people sometimes vote and don't comment, but not usually to this extent.

I'm with all the other comments - no, I wouldn't be upset at my dp making an old joke. (But am a bit confused why everyone has said that yet only 13% of the voting upholds that).

BloodAndFire · 26/12/2022 22:24

We only got married for tax and legal reasons. That is what marriage is.

Summer2424 · 26/12/2022 22:27

@Angrymum202 aww no, that's not a nice thing to say but tbh it sounds like he might have been joking, i hope he was x

Marypuppuns · 26/12/2022 22:27

Seems like the joke will be on him when you don’t marry him

IncompleteSenten · 26/12/2022 22:29

I think that's a very good and sensible reason to get married!

MadameDe · 26/12/2022 22:33

Only you can know if he was joking OP. It's not very funny as a joke but the fact he said it out loud, in front of everyone is probably a good indication that he wasn't serious.

GrumpyPanda · 26/12/2022 22:34

Angrymum202 · 26/12/2022 21:29

We’re in Germany so there’s a 17% tax relief benefit for us both. 😩

Oh great. Two more participants in the great German housewife/gender pay gap subsidy scam. In case anyone was wondering why single people in Germany have been shouldering the highest/second tax wedge in all of the OECD for the past one or two decades at least😡 With that little nugget OP I am changing my vote- your partner is being entirely rational and reasonable albeit far from admirable.

CorrodedCoffin · 26/12/2022 22:39

My bf and I have been engaged 8 years. In that time we have made zero wedding plans - I don’t think my partner has brought it up once since the actual proposal EXCEPT for one time when he quite sincerely started discussing the tax benefits of us getting married. That stung a bit, but I got over it. I’m assuming your bf said it jokingly. If he didn’t, of course you have a right to be upset - it doesn’t mean you have psychological issues - in fact him saying that to you (provided you didn’t explode at him in some unhinged fashion) would make me question whether he’s the right sort of person to be getting married to MORE SO than the actual tax benefit comment.

Soproudoflionesses · 26/12/2022 22:39

BloodAndFire · 26/12/2022 22:24

We only got married for tax and legal reasons. That is what marriage is.

Same.

AnneLovesGilbert · 26/12/2022 22:41

Is it true? Why do you think he’s marrying you?