Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH constant complaining about present

43 replies

Alaimo · 26/12/2022 18:17

For background: DH and I usually just get each other something small for Christmas, a couple of books or a boardgame.

Last year I received a one-off Christmas bonus from work, worth a few thousand pounds. I thought it would be nice to use part of that money to buy DH and myself new skis for Christmas. I took DH to the ski shop so he could select a pair of skis himself. The ones he really wanted were not available in his size/length anymore so he ended up choosing different ones.

Every time we've been skiing since (a week last winter and a week right now) he has complained about the skis I gifted him. How he hates them, how he much preferred the other (sold out) ones, how he can't ski on these... it goes on and on. Today I snapped and told him I thought his constant complaining was incredibly rude and that if he hates them so much he can give them back to me so I can sell them on ebay. (I wouldn't even mind if he sells them on ebay and buys skis he prefers, I'm just utterly fed up of the constant complaining about a present that I spent a lot of money on.)

Anyway, after telling him I thought his behaviour was rude he's retreated to the bedroom to sulk. AIBU to expect a bit more gratitude from an adult, even if a present does not live up to one's expectations?

OP posts:
Pedallleur · 26/12/2022 18:26

How does he know the ones he couldn't have would have suited him? Get them back, sell them and give him the money to go and buy what he thinks he wants.

TheOtherBoleynGirls · 26/12/2022 18:26

Take them back and sell them yourself, ungrateful git.

TheOtherBoleynGirls · 26/12/2022 18:26

Oh, and keep the money

gamerchick · 26/12/2022 18:28

You did the right thing in telling him. Should have done it sooner though probably.

Tell him you dont want to hear the whinging ever again.

NotRainingToday · 26/12/2022 18:29

Well he chose them, it's not as if you just bought any old thing when he wanted something specific.

Aprilx · 26/12/2022 18:29

I think YABU, I don’t think he was really complaining about the gift, he simply finds himself with a pair of skis that he doesn’t feel suit him. I don’t know why the two of you could not just agree to sell these and buy some others, or does he feel he cannot sell these because it was a present?

Queenshandbag · 26/12/2022 18:30

Yeah he’s being an ungrateful idiot. Tell him to sell them and buy him whatever he thinks would be better and next time you get a bonus spend it just on yourself.

TheChosenTwo · 26/12/2022 18:31

Take them back from him, sell him and buy yourself something nice with the money.
just curious now as I’ve never thought about it, how much are skis?!

Thedogscollar · 26/12/2022 18:32

Honestly he sounds pathetic like a small whiney child. I'd be telling him straight stop with your whinging you ungrateful twat.

MoreShit123 · 26/12/2022 18:34

He's being really, really hurtful and it's been quite depressing seeing all the threads about ungrateful people and rejected presents this Christmas - including spoilt rude children. Sell them, keep the dollar and fuck off to a spa day on your own.

PinkPanther50 · 26/12/2022 19:02

You can’t take them back, you gifted them to him! Tell him to go to the ski shop and hire some he does like, whilst he’s there get him to ask if they want to buy them 😄

Aprilx · 26/12/2022 19:09

MoreShit123 · 26/12/2022 18:34

He's being really, really hurtful and it's been quite depressing seeing all the threads about ungrateful people and rejected presents this Christmas - including spoilt rude children. Sell them, keep the dollar and fuck off to a spa day on your own.

He’s not being really really hurtful. He finds himself with some sports equipment that doesn’t suit him that is all.

Lets say your husband bought you a pair of shoes that seemed ok first time you tried them but later you discovered they really pinched. Do you think you would have to continue to wear the shoes lest you be called ungrateful or of being very very hurtful? Or could you actually say these shoes are not fitting properly I can’t wear them, I will need to try some others.

Namenic · 26/12/2022 19:15

I think you should tell him it is ok to sell these and buy ones that suit him better (he should pay though! - as he agreed to get these ones rather than waiting for them to be in stock or choosing a different pair). Currently he might feel he is expected to use these ones as they were a gift (but he is being unreasonable about how he expresses himself - he should say how grateful he is you bought them, but they don’t suit him, so could he sell them and use the money towards something else).

MoreShit123 · 26/12/2022 19:15

Aprilx · 26/12/2022 19:09

He’s not being really really hurtful. He finds himself with some sports equipment that doesn’t suit him that is all.

Lets say your husband bought you a pair of shoes that seemed ok first time you tried them but later you discovered they really pinched. Do you think you would have to continue to wear the shoes lest you be called ungrateful or of being very very hurtful? Or could you actually say these shoes are not fitting properly I can’t wear them, I will need to try some others.

Show quote history

He is regularly complaining and saying he "hates" a present given to him out of love and generosity. It is hurtful.

SirGawain · 26/12/2022 20:07

A First World problem if ever there was one!

Duchess379 · 26/12/2022 20:34

Your hubby sounds like my mum. Everytime she opens her mouth, it's to whinge about something 'did you cook the veg, my carrots are cold' 'i'm cold, is a window open' 'did you make my coffee properly ' Every. Fucking. Day. 🙄

Aprilx · 26/12/2022 20:36

MoreShit123 · 26/12/2022 19:15

He is regularly complaining and saying he "hates" a present given to him out of love and generosity. It is hurtful.

Show quote history

Well he should stop regularly complaining and should actually do something about it, sell these and buy something else. OP should give her blessing to this, just as I would expect my husband to give his blessing to me returning / selling shoes that hurt my feet.

Aprilx · 26/12/2022 20:37

MoreShit123 · 26/12/2022 19:15

He is regularly complaining and saying he "hates" a present given to him out of love and generosity. It is hurtful.

Show quote history

And I see you didn’t actually answer my question over whether you think you should have to continue to wear the shoes your husband bought you even though they don’t fit properly.

cantsing · 26/12/2022 20:40

Did you pressure him into buying the unsuitable ones?

DuchessDandelion · 26/12/2022 20:44

It's a bad workman who blames his tools...

You should tell him how hot the women of MN are for him since you told us about the whinging, ungrateful, sulking man who you bought skis for 😉

ImpartialMongoose · 26/12/2022 20:50

OP, you're taking it way too personally. He's critical of the skis, not you, you didn't handcraft them yourself did you? They're not cheap and it would be incredibly disappointing to spend that money on them and for them to be wrong.

Scottishskifun · 26/12/2022 20:56

Sounds like an excuse for poor skiing to me! Unless he bought piste skis and wants to be off piste constantly or he bought big powder skis and doesn't have a clue how to manage them then he's being ridiculous!
You learn with skis what adaptation is required with each pair I flip between skis depending on conditions and take 2 sets with me each require different techniques to get the best out of them.

Tell him to book a 2 hr private lesson and learn how to use them properly! It might be they are advanced for him but if he learns from an instructor he will fall in love with them

donttellmehesalive · 26/12/2022 21:03

YABU. I think we should be able to be honest with our spouses or partners. Of course he knows he chose them and it's his fault, but regretting the choice doesn't feel like something he should have to keep secret imo.

Goldbar · 26/12/2022 21:12

Tell him that he should have chosen more carefully if he doesn't like them. What's it got to do with you, you didn't pick them (just paid for them)?

Also to stop moaning, sort himself out, buy some he likes and sell the ones he doesn't.

Tell him you're bored of hearing about them. You heard him the first time. If he mentions them again, you'll sell them yourself on ebay/FB marketplace and spend the money on a hundred pairs of ear plugs. And you'll even give him a pair to save him listening to himself. Because you're a kind person.

fancyacuppatea · 26/12/2022 21:16

He's a grown-up.
He chose them and doesn't like them.
He has the option of selling them and purchasing some other skis without OP holding his hand or doing it for him.