Board Game Argument

[WhathasHappenedtotheWorld]

DD and DS were playing a board game where you move a counter steps until the finish line, answering questions along the way.
One of the question types was one where players had to cooperate and if they got it right, both players could move forwards. DD was ahead of DS and he decided to not answer that question because if both players moved ahead, then DD would have won so he reckoned that it was best that no one moved forward so he would have another chance the next go to move ahead. The rule book does not say this tactic is banned.

DD says that DS is a bad sport and is really angry at him. I am inclined to agree as this was meant to be a fun game, and DS takes things way too seriously.
Who is wrong?

YANBU- DS is wrong. He should have not taken the game so seriously.
YABU- DD is wrong as she should understand that DS was only trying to win.

@ElegantlyTouched DS would be frustrated but would not say anything as it is something he would have done himself and admitted afterwards he had thought of this before the game had started (I.e. the person behind should refuse to do all the cooperative tasks). I think DD was caught by surprise by this tactic.

And this is why Monopoly has been banned in our house for about 15 years ..... 🤣

Your DS was totally in the right. How ridiculous to think that he should forfeit the game to help your daughter win?! She's behaved badly on both counts (pressurising him to accede the victory and stomping off when he wouldn't.) you need to work on her behaviour and entitlement.

But what would your dd have done? Would she have answered correctly knowing she was then giving the win to her brother?

That may well be the case. Her view, and it’s one that I agree with, is that when she’s done her job of bringing up her son and preparing him to thrive in the big wide world, he’ll not be the one standing there soaking wet and clutching a useless bit of hose.

Its funny that your DD has accused your DS of taking this too seriously given her actions.

But then this is why we played a select few board games when I was younger with family.

I am sure that the child has done well for himself, but I suspect that he is still a dick.

@ElegantlyTouched I think initially DD would not have realised this tactic but tbh she may have done the same thing as DS but more slyly and it would have been more believable as her history knowledge is not as strong yet. Or maybe she would have continued playing with good faith. Who knows as it is normally DS who finds loopholes first.

Agree with this. I think DS completely within his rights. DDbehaved quite badly.

The game was fundamentally flawed, either the fireman needed to ignore the calls to turn the hydrant on or set the rules better. The fireman broke the rules as much as the players

That is not the fault of either the kids or the parents. I'm not sure how teaching kids to be efficient is bad parenting anyway.

Most board game arguments are the result of badly designed games

In this particular example, he didn't follow the rules though and was disqualified. Too late though if the prize was to soak their rival!

I generally don't agree with twisting rules in order to get what you want. Act fairly and with integrity, and you will have earned your win.

In OP's example, I can see why both parties acted the way they did. However, I still think it's petty that ds didn't play as a team on a turn that required him to do so.

He has. He’s finished uni now and although only at the relative start to his career, will very likely do well in his chosen field, which is demanding, varied and generally well remunerated. I don’t have a crystal ball obviously, but the evidence so far says he’ll be able to provide well for his family as a result, and have a nice standard of living ahead, even in these worrying economic times. Luckily for him, I don’t think any of that will be tarnished or compromised by you suspecting he’s a bit of a dick.

The OP's DS hasn't done anything wrong - it's entirely in the spirit of "Horrible Histories" to swing a co-operative element for the individual advantage. That sort of behaviour is the focus of much of the HH franchise.

The fire brigade water game DS, however, is awful. What an awful thing to teach your child - cheat, throw your friends under the metaphorical bus, and to hell with rules. I'd be mortified if I were his parent, not remotely proud 😳

But she could have still one, on her next go, she was ahead. The only thing that stopped her winning was storming off.

*won 🙈

There’s many jobs or areas in life where following the rules is pretty essential. There are also many jobs or areas where following the rules rigidly can, at best be disadvantageous, whilst at worst, devastating. Particularly in dynamic or emergency situations, where the rules don’t, or weren’t designed to cover the events on the ground That’s where you need people who can do both.

I'm not sure of your point, I have already said that he will do well.
Probably because of him being a dick and happy to sell others out.

I agree - good on your DD for not succumbing to male arrogance. Pack up the game and fuck it off. She won ultimately.

And how you parent and develop your child to grow up to be the type of person you want is pretty much entirely down to you (within reason, and accepting it doesn’t always work out like that.). But when your young adult goes out into the real world, they will be sharing that world with people like my friend’s son. How well do you think you’ve prepared them to cope with that?

In the case of an emergency, then that is an exception and anyone with moral sense would know to prioritise an emergency.

That's not the same as cheating in game.

I'm not sure why you're trying to make this a personal question about my parenting, other than that it's easier to make a personal comment than actually construct a moral argument.

However, I would never take pleasure in the thought that a child of mine was prepared to take advantage of others, even if others were. There are things in life more important than harvesting wealth and power. The fire fighters running that session would be well aware of that - risking their lives for relatively small remuneration. You wouldn't catch them "cheating" to succeed at the expense of others in their job.

You do not need to be a cutthroat bastard in life to live a good, happy, successful life.

There is no such thing as a light-hearted boardgame with siblings. In my experience the urge to render them as dust beneath your chariot wheels is overwhelming.

My point is on MN, I read a lot of stories of people who are struggling to put a roof over their heads and food on the table for their children. My friend (and indeed I) both grew up in a similar environment. She was determined to do what she could to make sure that her son be able to offer a provide a better life for both himself and his family. It looks like she’s succeeded, or certainly played her part. I think he’s a brilliant young man, Intelligent, focuses, driven and capable for someone still in his early twenties, but even if he is a dick, his kids are unlikely to go to school with hole in their shoes or hide behind the couch when the rent man knocks at the door, unlike his mother had to. She is over the moon about that.

And how do you think you develop that mindset, or ability for when such situations arise?

This wasn't a loophole though. DS played by the rules. If it was in his interest to co-operate he would have done. Perhaps the game wasn't intended to be played by 2.