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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Board Game Argument

99 replies

WhathasHappenedtotheWorld · 26/12/2022 15:48

DD and DS were playing a board game where you move a counter steps until the finish line, answering questions along the way.
One of the question types was one where players had to cooperate and if they got it right, both players could move forwards. DD was ahead of DS and he decided to not answer that question because if both players moved ahead, then DD would have won so he reckoned that it was best that no one moved forward so he would have another chance the next go to move ahead. The rule book does not say this tactic is banned.

DD says that DS is a bad sport and is really angry at him. I am inclined to agree as this was meant to be a fun game, and DS takes things way too seriously.
Who is wrong?

YANBU- DS is wrong. He should have not taken the game so seriously.
YABU- DD is wrong as she should understand that DS was only trying to win.

OP posts:
cakeorwine · 26/12/2022 16:32

WhathasHappenedtotheWorld · 26/12/2022 16:28

@MrsMitford3 It was Horrible Histories Board Game. There is an action card where DD had to draw a historical event and DS had to guess and if he guessed correctly they would have both moved forward. He refused to answer the question in the time limit so that no one moved forward, as DD would have otherwise had the chance to win on her next turn.

Would have been much better if he had tried to guess it but kept failing, even if he knew the answer...

But a smart strategic move.

Andsoforth · 26/12/2022 16:33

Establish a rule that whoever wins washes up next. It’s amazing how good natured games become.

WhathasHappenedtotheWorld · 26/12/2022 16:33

@cakeorwine He did keep guessing but DD knew what he was doing as DS is good at history and it was quite an obvious answer. He is not great at having a poker face so then he admitted what he was doing when DD asked him outright.

OP posts:
cakeorwine · 26/12/2022 16:40

WhathasHappenedtotheWorld · 26/12/2022 16:33

@cakeorwine He did keep guessing but DD knew what he was doing as DS is good at history and it was quite an obvious answer. He is not great at having a poker face so then he admitted what he was doing when DD asked him outright.

DS would be torn between dying to show off his knowledge versus not wanting someone else to win.

NIparty · 26/12/2022 16:44

Youre dd sounds so much more annoying than your ds, and you're enabling her to behave in the way you're accusing your ds is. It's you 2 taking it way too seriously, not him.

WhathasHappenedtotheWorld · 26/12/2022 16:44

@cakeorwine Yh I think you hit the nail on the head as pretty soon after the timer was up he gave DD the correct answer. DD had by then sussed out what DS was doing and since he is not great at lying, he admitted it!

I think tempers have cooled down now, so hopefully the next game will go uneventfully!

OP posts:
Reindear · 26/12/2022 16:46

DS is being strategic. It’s a game, of course he wants to win. It’s boring if people just let other people win. DD needs to get over it. I would be commending DS for being smart.
the only way I could see DDs side is if DS is considerable older like 17 and she’s only 10 and then I might think that DS could help her out a little bit

WhathasHappenedtotheWorld · 26/12/2022 16:47

@NIparty maybe but tbh I am just worried that when DS goes to uni in a year or two, he won’t find many friends if he is so competitive in trying to win by finding ‘loopholes’ like this.
I want him to start thinking that sometimes he should just play for the sake of playing and become more sociable in general as it will be tough making friends otherwise.

OP posts:
WhathasHappenedtotheWorld · 26/12/2022 16:49

@Reindear They are both teens, even though DD is younger. I think it is a throwback to before where DS used to help DD a bit as she was younger. But now he thinks that since DD is also a teen, it is all square now to play competitively.

OP posts:
Petrarkanian · 26/12/2022 16:50

She should just do what my sister did once when I was winning, upend the board have a massive strop and storm off.

NoelleSnowman · 26/12/2022 16:51

WhathasHappenedtotheWorld · 26/12/2022 16:49

@Reindear They are both teens, even though DD is younger. I think it is a throwback to before where DS used to help DD a bit as she was younger. But now he thinks that since DD is also a teen, it is all square now to play competitively.

He shouldn’t have helped her when she was younger. That didn’t teach her how to be a good winner.

As a result, she is now a bad loser who is enabled by her mother.

NIparty · 26/12/2022 16:54

WhathasHappenedtotheWorld · 26/12/2022 16:47

@NIparty maybe but tbh I am just worried that when DS goes to uni in a year or two, he won’t find many friends if he is so competitive in trying to win by finding ‘loopholes’ like this.
I want him to start thinking that sometimes he should just play for the sake of playing and become more sociable in general as it will be tough making friends otherwise.

Are you not equally worried about your daughter making friends while throwing tantrums and being a sore loser?

WhathasHappenedtotheWorld · 26/12/2022 16:54

@Petrarkanian Yh unfortunately even though she was winning she walked off and refused to continue when she discovered DS’s tactic. She is definitely wrong for that but they have made up for it now.

OP posts:
Wingedharpy · 26/12/2022 16:55

WhathasHappenedtotheWorld · 26/12/2022 16:47

@NIparty maybe but tbh I am just worried that when DS goes to uni in a year or two, he won’t find many friends if he is so competitive in trying to win by finding ‘loopholes’ like this.
I want him to start thinking that sometimes he should just play for the sake of playing and become more sociable in general as it will be tough making friends otherwise.

He'll find kindred spirits OP, never fear.
Also, he'll learn even more strategies regarding how to get what he wants.

WhathasHappenedtotheWorld · 26/12/2022 16:56

@NIparty She has more friends than DS in general and finds it easier too. I think it is just DS who she would not tolerate this from, as he is really competitive in general, with anyone else she doesn’t say anything.

OP posts:
EwwSprouts · 26/12/2022 16:59

@bizzey DD just packed the game up and refused to continue! That was wrong on her part but she was just really annoyed.

Lol can you not see the irony here? Ds refused to answer the question so DD could not win, hence your post here. DD refused to answer any more questions so DS could not win. I think your DD played him at his own game! Good on her.

WhathasHappenedtotheWorld · 26/12/2022 17:04

@EwwSprouts I think there is a subtle difference here. DS was still playing the game by answering this question type wrong. There were other question types too that were non cooperative. DD shut the whole game down which I do not agree with.
nevertheless I did think that maybe DS should have perhaps played less competitively but you guys have persuaded me to think that perhaps DS was ‘right’! Anyway let’s hope for more civil games next time!

OP posts:
LovelyLovelyWarmCoffee · 26/12/2022 17:06

I can’t believe you were siding with your DD! Most people play board games trying to win, where would the fun be otherwise? (except if playing against a small child ofc)
Please congratulate your DS for his smart thinking and ask your DD to apologize for losing her temper.

IrisCosyCottage · 26/12/2022 17:06

WhathasHappenedtotheWorld · 26/12/2022 16:28

@MrsMitford3 It was Horrible Histories Board Game. There is an action card where DD had to draw a historical event and DS had to guess and if he guessed correctly they would have both moved forward. He refused to answer the question in the time limit so that no one moved forward, as DD would have otherwise had the chance to win on her next turn.

In that case, I'd have spotted what DS was doing and I'd have guessed.

He was being a bad sport. And there is nothing worse than someone who is so competitive they twist the rules in a way the rulebook didn't anticipate.

And yy I think you're right to worry that someone who is getting ready to go to uni is so competitive and unsportsmanlike that the challenge of 'finding loopholes' (as you have both framed it to make it more acceptable/aspirational) is more important to them than being a good sport or fun game playing companion.

LovelyLovelyWarmCoffee · 26/12/2022 17:06

perhaps DS was ‘right’
He was right. Not perhaps, and not ‘right’…

DomesticShortHair · 26/12/2022 17:07

At my friend’s sons school, there was a visit by the local fire station (this was a few years back, probably doesn’t happen now) as part of a youth engagement piece. The firefighters organised a competition between two groups, one of them containing my friend’s son.

The objective was to set up a hydrant (they were shown how), then each group would roll out individual three pieces of hose one after the other, connecting them as they went. Finally, they’d connect a branch/nozzle on the end and shout ‘WATER ON!’, at which point, the firefighters would turn on that hose, allowing the fastest team to soak their rivals. A change of clothes and towels etc. had already been thought about and accounted for.

Anyway, what happened is the first group applied themselves to the task studiously, and commenced rolling out all the allotted hoses. The second group, containing my friends son, only rolled out one hose, and attached the branch straight to that. They called for the water to be turned on, and the bemused, but compliant, firefighters obliged accordingly.

They turned the hose on their rivals, who were still beavering away on unrolling their second hose length at this point, soaking them. When told that their group had lost through disqualification, my friend’s son took one look at the other group, standing their spooning wet, and said, “Maybe so, but it doesn’t look like it to me”.

You can say all you want about following the rules etc., but I don’t think my friend has ever been prouder of her son. She did take him for a big ice cream parlour Knickerbocker Glory as a reward. A good life lesson, in my book.

AngelontopoftheTree · 26/12/2022 17:07

I'm surprised by the vote and the posts, I agree with DD. Your DS was a bad sport, and used a loophole in the rules to prevent his sister winning.

Icedlatteplease · 26/12/2022 17:08

Play better designed games. Your kids are too old for horrible histories board game, I expected you to say they were about 9 or 10. Cooperative games are very hard to design well, a competitive game throwing in a random Cooperative element for the hell of it is never going the end well. No it's not cheating, yes your DD needs to be a better sportsperson.

ElegantlyTouched · 26/12/2022 17:08

What would have happened had the roles been reversed?

IrisCosyCottage · 26/12/2022 17:10

DomesticShortHair · 26/12/2022 17:07

At my friend’s sons school, there was a visit by the local fire station (this was a few years back, probably doesn’t happen now) as part of a youth engagement piece. The firefighters organised a competition between two groups, one of them containing my friend’s son.

The objective was to set up a hydrant (they were shown how), then each group would roll out individual three pieces of hose one after the other, connecting them as they went. Finally, they’d connect a branch/nozzle on the end and shout ‘WATER ON!’, at which point, the firefighters would turn on that hose, allowing the fastest team to soak their rivals. A change of clothes and towels etc. had already been thought about and accounted for.

Anyway, what happened is the first group applied themselves to the task studiously, and commenced rolling out all the allotted hoses. The second group, containing my friends son, only rolled out one hose, and attached the branch straight to that. They called for the water to be turned on, and the bemused, but compliant, firefighters obliged accordingly.

They turned the hose on their rivals, who were still beavering away on unrolling their second hose length at this point, soaking them. When told that their group had lost through disqualification, my friend’s son took one look at the other group, standing their spooning wet, and said, “Maybe so, but it doesn’t look like it to me”.

You can say all you want about following the rules etc., but I don’t think my friend has ever been prouder of her son. She did take him for a big ice cream parlour Knickerbocker Glory as a reward. A good life lesson, in my book.

That summarises so much that is wrong with a particular type of modern parenthood. No wonder so many employers are completely despairing of the attitudes of young people in the workplace.