To want DH to stay still and just sit with me?

[Letsdosomething]

I’ll probably be flamed but here goes.

Toddler has been unwell for what feels like forever, although in reality it’s only less than a week. He only wants me. I am feeling a bit suffocated as if I go to the toilet he cries pitifully, so for much of the day I am trapped under him.

Meanwhile DH is up and about cleaning. I should be grateful, I know. But I’m stuck. I can’t get a drink, change the TV channel, do anything. I’m low and I want another adult around.

Go on - flame me.

Sounds tough going! Hope you're little feels better soon and you can get some air.

Why would anyone flame you? Many of us have been there OP. Ask him to come and sit with you, tell him you would like his company (and to bring you a drink and the remote).

We use Whatsapp 😉 he brings me tea and food etc. Just ask! I thank my DP for all he does and tell him I miss him ( often stuck under lovely but very clingy baby....).

What's the 'flaming' thing all about? You haven't even said anything really

It's tough having a clingy unwell toddler, but you can get up and get yourself a drink. Yes you DC will cry, but eventually they'll realise every time you get up, you will be coming back.

Ask him to give you the remote and to make you a drink. Then ask him to come keep you company when he's finished cleaning.

Or put him down for a couple of minutes. He might cry but you're coming back.

Tell him how you feel?

What age is the child?

Is your toddler unwell and asleep on you? Or just whingy and clingy sort of unwell?

It's crap when a toddler is ill and only wants you. In your situation, I would make sure I had my phone, remote and a cold drink to hand and tell DH to come and join me sometimes, with a cup of tea. Why don't you feel able to do that?

Your toddler will just have to cry for the couple of minutes it takes you to go to the bathroom or get a drink / snack / stretch your legs. I'm not saying leave them on their own for hours but a few minutes break will be fine.

I love it when my toddler is ill (ok that sounds bad) because its the only time I get to sit down. Box of chocolate, remote, cup of tea, box set on.

Tell your DH to get you a drink and the remote. Or swap. Yes he should be capable of spotting that you need one of these without you telling him, but clearly telling is required.

I wish he was back to normal. I can’t really tell DH how I feel as he’s everywhere but where I am.

Getting a drink with a screaming toddler - it’s possible but then takes ages to calm him down again. I’ve had a full day of whingeing and crying and it’s making me want to cry too!

You need to go out.

Can’t you shout him to come to the living room? Or WhatsApp or text, like a PP suggests?

I’m sorry you’re having a shit day. Unwell tiny people are unreasonable.

Why can’t you just pick them up, go get a drink/ change the channel? Alternatively as your DH?
You’re being a bit of a martyr.

If you want me to flame you, I will need more. What else is going on? Do you think your DH is intentionally avoiding you and the situation?

I would go out and leave DH to it for an hour or two.

I think picking up the household stuff that needs doing is what most people would do when their partner's ill. And when I'm ill I mostly want to be by myself (not least so I can blow my nose and cough without being self-conscious about how gross it sounds), I certainly don't want DP sitting there keeping me company.

But if that's what you do want just... tell your husband. He won't know that's what you want unless you say so.

Stick little one in a buggy all wrapped up and take him out for a walk for some fresh air, itll do you both some good and might rock him to sleep, then you can let him sleep in the buggy when you get home if you live in a building that makes that easy to do..

Then let DH take over for a while and make yourself scarce, have a shower or whatever and just spend some time on your own. The toddler will soon settle he would have to if you were out at work and DH was taking care of him.

Wrap him up and pop him into buggy and go for a walk.

How big is your house that you can't shout to him? Or pick up the toddler and go and find him? Are you worried about asking him? I don't understand why it is such a big thing, so much so that you think you'll be flamed or you are unreasonable.

And no you shouldn't feel grateful when a man cleans up.

Hope the germs are gone soon. It's exhausting looking after a clingy toddler.

Just pick your child up and go and find him if he can't hear you.

Also, tell him to keep his phone where he can hear it and you keep yours right next to you.

There are so many solutions here.

The toddler won’t be put down. I tried him in the car seat this morning and he screamed.

I have no idea why some people here always accuse others of being martyrs - I’m hardly enjoying having an unwell toddler who won’t be put down without screaming. It would just be nice to not feel like I’m alone in dealing with it I suppose. Intentionally or otherwise it does feel a bit like that.

I’m sure there are many solutions.

The problem is they all involve a screaming toddler and my nerves are shot to fucking pieces as that’s all I’ve heard for the last forty eight fucking hours.