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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Would you lend this money if you were receiving this back?

112 replies

Boxingdaytoday · 26/12/2022 13:59

Would you lend someone around a thousand, if they were able to pay it back in 3 months at just over £300 per month?

OP posts:

Overthebow · 26/12/2022 18:24

No I wouldn’t have you prioritised Christmas presents rather than keeping a roof over your families head. Yes it was irresponsible.

oviraptor21 · 26/12/2022 18:26

Why do you need £1000 now but you can afford £333 (presumably) over each of the next three months? Why can you not just arrange with your creditors to pay off your debts at £333 over each of the next three months rather than get your parents involved?

00100001 · 26/12/2022 18:59

What was your plan of you had no family or friends who could loan you £1000?

quinceh · 26/12/2022 19:02

Yes if I had it and trusted the person. At the moment though I’m more likely to be the one needing it!

RememberNancyDrew · 26/12/2022 19:05

Fishwifer · 26/12/2022 15:56

Er, Ask your parents to gift it and deduct it from your future inheritance. ...?

You're assuming they will give an inheritance and also have ready money in a form to be able to cash it in?! Bizarre - this isn't real life for many, many working class folk up and down the country.

Well, I would hope the OP would not hit her parents up for money if they were struggling working class folk.

sheepdogdelight · 26/12/2022 19:15

It depends on your relationship with your parents surely?

I would have to be more desperate than you sound to borrow from my parents as I would have to spend the next 10 years being everlastingly grateful for it.
Since you seem uncertain, I'm guessing you think your parents might not be overly keen to do this.

Starseeking · 26/12/2022 19:20

I wouldn't lend it to you in this case. You've not set any money aside for essential bills "so your DD wouldn't go without at Christmas". That is extremely poor money management.

In addition to the increased bills over the next few months, something else could crop up that would mean you need more money, and wouldn't be able to pay your parents back.

You'd be better off contacting your mortgage company to ask for a 3 month holiday on payments, and prioritise getting up to date (plus putting aside a bit extra) on your other bills.

miraveile · 26/12/2022 19:35

Just ask. Worse they can say is no.

Scousefab · 13/02/2023 10:45

If it’s your parents yes. Much better idea than lending from a bank. Go for it! Give yourself a more reasonable time frame in case some unexpected expenditure comes up.

LBFseBrom · 14/02/2023 16:26

Yes I would as long as I could afford to and obviously if I trusted them. However it is a good idea not to lend money if you can't afford to give it.

Whoever said it is better than 'lending' from a bank, I've never heard of that, surely the poster meant 'borrowing'. Sometimes bank loan rates are quite good (no idea what they are like at present), but not everyone would be approved for a loan from a bank which is why they ask someone close to them for help.

It's good to help others. I have been helped in the past, many years ago, and was very grateful. Now I am 'OK' I am happy to return the favour to someone in need.

drpet49 · 14/02/2023 16:32

Hopeyoursproutsarealreadyon · 26/12/2022 14:25

In our family we have unspoken rules that lending money /car is more than acceptable.. It depends on your personal boundaries I guess. No way would I see my dc, adult or not, in a position they needed money.
And I am most certainly not well off.
Maybe they need a reality check about how people really can't manage at times. They aren't kind if they won't help op.

I agree. I’ve lent money to family and friends and have always received it back

notangelinajolie · 13/04/2023 11:15

I am concerned that more than a temporary fix is needed. You need help. Contact one of the free debt advice companies like Step Change.

Talk to your parents.
If any of my kids were struggling, I would probably give them the money.

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