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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you lend this money if you were receiving this back?

112 replies

Boxingdaytoday · 26/12/2022 13:59

Would you lend someone around a thousand, if they were able to pay it back in 3 months at just over £300 per month?

OP posts:
bumpytrumpy · 26/12/2022 14:26

Boxingdaytoday · 26/12/2022 14:18

It’s me who would like to lend it and i’m asking my parents, who I’ve leant money off once in 45 years

Who do you want to lend it to? Why are your parents involved?

MyBooksAndMyCats · 26/12/2022 14:26

No I wouldn't £300 x 3 = £900 so most likely to be 4 months.

Why can't you just save that amount?

ButterflyOil · 26/12/2022 14:27

If you want to borrow money and you have a realistic payment plan and can show you can stick to it then yes I would ask. But is there another way? Could you get a loan you can pay back over a longer period from a lender?

IScreamAtMichaelangelos · 26/12/2022 14:29

OP, your post is confusing.

The person receiving the money is borrowing money.

The person lending the money is giving money.

Are you borrowing or lending?

uhOhOP · 26/12/2022 14:30

I like how you 4 have tried to subtly acknowledge/correct OP's incorrect use of "lend"...

Original poster
Boxingdaytoday · 26/12/2022 14:30

It’s money I need now, not something I can save for. Our mortgage has gone up
so much and the electricity so much, we’ve got a bit behind in it, but if I had this I could easily pay them back, possibly more and I’d be back to being organised if that makes sense!
I know that they have it but dread asking!

OP posts:
Threadkillacilla · 26/12/2022 14:32

Will you be able to afford repayment and the increase in bills?

RunningFromInsanity · 26/12/2022 14:32

My parents would lend it to me in a heartbeat if I came to them with proof of what it will be going towards, to explain the amount, and a solid repayment plan.

If you can repay £300 in a month, why can’t you use that to pay off the debts?

TerfOnATrain · 26/12/2022 14:33

Boxingdaytoday · 26/12/2022 14:18

It’s me who would like to lend it and i’m asking my parents, who I’ve leant money off once in 45 years

In that case of course I would lend it

ButterflyOil · 26/12/2022 14:33

If you can easily pay it back wouldn’t you be better to contact a loan company? There are some good rate around at the moment.

Butterflyfluff · 26/12/2022 14:33

If it is for household bills how are you going to cover them moving forwards and find an extra £300 for 3 months?

It’s not like household bills are going to massively drop anytime soon

ButterflyOil · 26/12/2022 14:34

uhOhOP · 26/12/2022 14:30

I like how you 4 have tried to subtly acknowledge/correct OP's incorrect use of "lend"...

A lot of people use ‘lend’ this way, to mean borrowing. I think it’s a regional thing? But I said borrow in my reply because I got what she meant and didn’t think more people needed to question it.

CatherinedeBourgh · 26/12/2022 14:35

I wouldn't hesitate for my dc, and have received considerably more from my mother.

It helps to be scrupulous about keeping track of exactly what's been given and ensuring that it goes back.

HairyKitty · 26/12/2022 14:35

If you can’t afford to pay your bills as it is, how can you possibly pay back an additional £300 per month?
This is the kind of loan that people need to expect to not be repaid.

MyBooksAndMyCats · 26/12/2022 14:35

But your mortgage and fuel bills are not going to magically drop. We are in winter and we have more cold snaps coming.

If you can't afford it now then I don't think you can realistically pay £300 a month on top of these big bills.

But they are your parents - so most likely to say yes but I would be very careful and make sure you can actually afford it.

whowhatwerewhy · 26/12/2022 14:36

Yes I would, but I would also wonder how you fell behind by £1000 yet have £300 in surplus's income to pay the loan back .

NoSquirrels · 26/12/2022 14:37

Boxingdaytoday · 26/12/2022 14:30

It’s money I need now, not something I can save for. Our mortgage has gone up
so much and the electricity so much, we’ve got a bit behind in it, but if I had this I could easily pay them back, possibly more and I’d be back to being organised if that makes sense!
I know that they have it but dread asking!

I would ask to repay it over 6 months, OP. Or better, at £100-125 a month.

If everything has gone up and you’re struggling, adding a £333 a month repayment is silly. Better to be realistic about the repayment schedule. If you try have £300 a month for it, then save the same as the debt replacement into a separate account (£125 to repayment parents; £125 to save). Then you’ll have an emergency fund.

BitterAndOnlySlightlyTwisted · 26/12/2022 14:37

If you can afford to find an extra £300-odd a month going forward you could easily come to an arrangement with your mortgage company and utility suppliers you “got a bit behind” with, without bothering your parents for it.

purplecorkheart · 26/12/2022 14:38

What is going to happen over the next three months though realistically. Bills/Utilities/Mortgage are only going to go up? Unless you are both due a massive payrise/inheritance etc I can not see how you can afford to pay them back along with cost of living increase etc.

donttellmehesalive · 26/12/2022 14:41

I think you should be able to ask your parents for money in an emergency. But I wouldn't ask in these circumstances. Contact your mortgage and energy providers instead.

NoSquirrels · 26/12/2022 14:46

What exactly are you behind with, OP, and by how much? Perhaps we can help you make a plan?

As PPs say, utilities and mortgage companies have to help you. Unless you’ve been ignoring it and it’s serious now - in which case what’s been going on and what’s different now?

Original poster
Boxingdaytoday · 26/12/2022 14:49

I can easily pay them the money back each month, even with the bill increases, it’s just with it being Christmas and getting behind.
With the mortgage it has to be paid, otherwise charges appear on top etc
It's just that asking thing, does anyone cringe doing it, I feel so sort of ashamed

OP posts:
whowhatwerewhy · 26/12/2022 14:59

How did you get behind if you can easily pay them £300 a month?

LumpyandBumps · 26/12/2022 15:03

I would probably help my children out if I could. In your case I think only a gift, or much longer repayment period would actually help the situation.

I might sound like Scrooge but I never understand why people use Christmas as an excuse for not paying priority bills.

The majority of Christmas expenditure is a choice. It’s lovely to be able to treat loved ones, etc, but it’s not an essential expense when it puts the roof over your head at risk.

bestchristmasever · 26/12/2022 15:03

How did you end up behind with your mortgage but have £300 a month spare?