What age did you chill out about babies and infection exposure?

[acassadei]

We have a healthy full-term ebf 5 month old DC. Hosting my family for Xmas this year and one of them has turned up with a cough and a fever. They didn’t tell us about it beforehand but they’ve travelled several hundred miles so I don’t think we could have told them not to attend anyway. PILs live locally and are planning to join for Xmas dinner tomorrow but one of them has a cold too.

We’re out and about all the time but until now we have deliberately avoided any friends or relatives with coughs/colds etc. I know baby is going to start getting infections eventually but he still seems so young to me, I feel bad exposing him to things that will cause him pain and discomfort! And we have a week off together after Xmas which is our one chance to relax as a family before DH starts demanding new job in January, and I’m now worried we’ll spend it caring for a poorly baby. Am I being precious? At five months I just need to suck it up and accept it as part of life, right? When did everyone else chill out about these things?

yabu - with a healthy five month old you just need to crack on with it
yanbu - I would still be taking precautions at this age too

It was never something that I ever considered. Once we had our second the first was in nursery anyway.

They are adults now and just had the normal run of childhood illnesses.

It wasn’t something I ever bothered about. As pp said, DS was in school when we had DDs, so we couldn’t avoid colds from Day 1!

After the "fourth trimester", I was a lot less careful, as apparently it is good for them to build up their immunity after this. I read somewhere that this was a good age, although it was a couple of years ago now so I don't remember where.

That said, I'd not like it if someone turned up to stay at mine who was obviously sick, at any time really. Especially with a fever! But not much you can do about it now, so best to just enjoy your Christmas and accept you may be ill for the new year.

@QS90 thanks, this is the sort of pragmatism I need 😆 it is our pfb so haven’t had the experience of older child in nursery, and easy for perspectives to be distorted, esp after Covid. But I guess I just need to shrug and get on with it!

About a year. Mine were dreadful sleepers and even worse when ill. So from a sleep preserving point of view I was careful.

Following as I have a 2 week old and I am super nervous about taking her to my inlaws tomorrow as DP has loads of nieces and nephews that are always diseased from school /nursery 😩 but apparently I am being precious when I expressed any concerns 😢

I have 3, never been particularly precious with any of them but with my 2nd and 3rd they had an older sibling coughing over them from birth so they had no chance. Youve done well to get to 5 months with no colds!

I think my first child had her first cough and cold at about 5 months. The second one had a constant stream of bugs from birth as caught all the nursery bugs from the toddler. You're not unreasonable to want to avoid bugs as they are exhausting to look after when ill and can end up in hospital with bronchiolitis. On the other hand it is a trade off with having no social life. Being breastfed will protect her to an extent. I would crack on if it's something you actually want to do

With my first I would have been worried sick and kept the baby away from anyone who was sick. With my second I wouldn't have cared!

With my first I don't remember having a panic on or anything about coughs and colds etc. He was born at full term.
Nowwwwww my daughter who was born at 23 weeks is a totally different story! I panic when someone even sniffs next to her 😂
For reassurance though my 23 weeker has had loads of coughs and colds and has never had to be admitted to hospital for them- Shes now 2.5 years old

Yes, this. I've never really bothered about it with either but both have been very robust and healthy babies and not prone to picking stuff up in the first place.

@rickandmorts oh sympathy, I think I would have been a gibbering wreck at the prospect at two weeks! Fingers crossed you dodge the germs. We are defo not going to let this family member cuddle the baby. And DH is surreptitiously opening all the windows 😆

@Afl oh that must have been really hard! Glad she made it through all of them with flying colours!

Never.

When I had DC1 I still had primary school aged siblings who I picked up from school two days a week so DM could work. DC2 had DC1 literally licking their face from around three days old. By the time DC3 came along I figured exposure is a good thing.

Childhood leukaemia is now thought to be caused by the combination of a genetic susceptibility, and the child not having an infection in their first year of life that primes their immune system for effective use. Children need snotty noses, it's a Pyrrhic victory to keep them away from everyday bugs.

amp.theguardian.com/society/2018/may/21/most-common-childhood-cancer-partly-caused-by-lack-of-infection

Gosh! I’ll get this family member licking his face pronto then 😆

@GentlySobbing sorry, that comment was for you - thanks for the link

My DS is 11 now. I worried. I'm pretty sure I read back then that their immune system does not become 'active' and able to fight infections until after 6 months. After then, it's fine to let them be exposed to all the usual coughs and colds, as it builds up immunity. Every time my DS moved settings, we went through a new bout of illnesses as he was exposed to a different group of people. Nursery, moving rooms each time and then starting school. It settled down after that.

For now, I would just ask your guests not to hold the baby and be mindful about washing their hands more often. I'm sure it will be fine.

As soon as they start to crawl and teeth and put EVERYTHING in their mouths you naturally begin to become a bit blasé about protecting them from germs!

Tbh I think best not be too precious about it and expose them to run of the mill stuff like coughs/colds while you’re still on maternity leave and can cope with the constant snot and broken nights.

First year of them going to nursery/childcare/school is also another turning point where they catch everything anyway and there’s nothing you can do about it.

I would still be careful in that I wouldn't let them hug or kiss or go near the baby in exactly the same way I wouldn't hug or kiss that person to prevent myself getting ill.

There's being relaxed about it and there's being stupid at the sake of your child (no matter what their age).
Take precaution, and cross your fingers, but don't worry about it. Cross the virus bridge when it happens.

I was going to also say about the leukaemia link of not getting colds before the age of 1.

@rickandmorts Is it your first baby? It really is your baby, your choice. We had our first at the height of Covid, and I wouldn't let anyone anywhere near him the first 8 weeks, unless they'd isolated for 10 days AND had a negative Covid test. I'm sure people thought I was being precious, especially my SIL who is bloody difficult (we don't see her any more because she could start a fight in an empty room). You're also vulnerable yourself that soon after giving birth (especially after a c-section, I think). But none of us got Covid in that period, and for us it was definitely the right decision. Don't let people undermine your confidence about doing what you want with your child, because people seem to try a lot ime!

I’d be okay with someone with a cough/cold.
But if you have a fever I don’t think you should visit anyone, especially not a baby.

They’ll be licking playground equipment soon enough. I would just ask the ill people not to hold the baby

Your baby, your choice. My first was prem, ebf and never sick, 2nd was to term, breast and bottle fed, always sick till she was about 5 yrs. First 5 Xmas with her was a calpol filled hell. Every child is different. Simply take precautions or don't go.