To be raging at the revolting beard my DH has grown

[mamaknowsbest12]

Every year DH goes through some weird phase of wanting to grown a beard. He is 38 and (not that it's particularly relevant) very handsome. 6ft2.

Usually he goes a couple of months and then shaves it so it's never really too much. This year he has grown it since about September and, I know I shouldn't say this, but it really repulses me. It is so thick and fluffy, you could twist the hair, he looks dirty.

He is not a clear speaker at the best of times but with all this hair around his mouth it's like constant muffles of sound and when he speaks I can't see his lips move properly with all the hair.

Food gets stuck in it. He looks old because all you can essentially see are some crows feet around his eyes.

My DM, MIL, any (of my) friends he meets all say how terrible it looks. Literally no one sees him without commenting on the beard. His own friends however are asking him to send photos to the lads' WhatsApp group and keep complimenting him at how good it looks, like it is some masculine feat.

I have asked him several times to shave it and he refuses. It's like he is now enjoying the extent to which I hate it. I cannot kiss him.

I really thought it would be gone for Christmas but doesn't look like it.

AIBU to feel raging about this. WWYD?

DP has had a beard for the past 15 years, i don't like beards but it suits his face, he shaved it off once when i complained about the length and honestly was glad he has a fast growth. This year he has it a bit longer and looks a bit like the guy from the North Pole.
@Dotjones i'm sorry for whatever happened to you but i think it's a bit of a leap to say people with facial hair are all bad or hiding something.

Here is an alternative list for you
Santa Claus
Leonardo da Vinci
Charlie Chaplin
Harnaam Kaur
Albert Einstein
Morgan Freeman
Hagrid
Kofi Annan
Jean Henry Dunant
Plato
Keanu Reeves

Glad that beards are on the way out again it seems

I love a well groomed beard on a rugged man (less so on some latte sipping, sandal wearing hipster who couldn't lift an axe).

Does he not oil, shape and comb his beard?

I find the mumsnet attitude towards beards bizarre and borderline racist tbh. My husband is Sikh and a beard is part of his religion. He combs and oils his beard and is extremely clean.

he shouldn't have a beard if you haven't both agreed to it

So he can’t look the way he wants unless she agrees? That is all shades of wrong.

YANBU. I can’t stand any type of facial hair on men; it’s vile.

I’ve told DH that if he ever grew a moustache/beard, I would shave half of it off in the night so he would be forced to shave off the other half. And I meant it, because I didn’t sign up for that.

So it’s racist to not like beards now? No matter how clean a man keeps it, I find it disgusting. I can’t stand facial hair; it’s such a major turn off.

I love my husband's beard, but to be fair, he keeps it trimmed and very rarely does he get food stuck in it.

Perhaps the issue isn't the beard itself, but the unkempt nature of it?

I had my hair coloured much darker with auburn tones. DH hated it.

I hated the beard he grew, which made him look really old.

We came to an agreement.

YABU about the beard itself (agree with PP that he wouldn’t be able to tell you what to do with your hair) but equally he does need to groom it, ie keep it trimmed and clear of all food.

His face, his choice.

I like a nice beard on a bloke. Particularly if he's creative with it 😀

Just tell him he looks like a park bench tramp.

Wow OP my OP had also grown a beard from September as well. It’s awful! Our youngest DC was diagnosed with a serious lifelong medical condition in August so I can only think it’s related, can’t be bothered to shave etc. He’s got beard oil and grooms it, never see food in it but it makes him look 20 years older and just like my stepdad (same colouring)🤮He’s grown a small moustache before and got rid after a few weeks but never has he grown an actual proper hanging down beard before in the 29 years we’ve been together. Haven’t kissed him for months or anything else.

He was complimented on it originally (not by me!) but now people are telling him to take it off so he’s going to do it on NYE. Can’t flipping wait!

Is shaping a beard a thing? That sounds like far too much work. When DH has a beard, he doesn't shape or groom it in any fashion but it looks fine.

Some people are hyperfocused on the beard and ignoring the fact that it's a dirty raggedy beard, so that they can complain about women doing something that we don't actually do.
For reasons best known to themselves.
Ignore those people.

Maybe his friends are encouraging him because it makes him less attractive and subconsciously they like that. It makes them more attractive compared to him. Iyswim.
Tell him you won’t kiss him until he gets rid of it as it itches you.

The double standards in media today are just ridiculous. A man can’t state any preference about a woman without being screamed down as a misogynistic pig who deserves to be divorced but a woman can be ENRAGED that her husband wants a beard every once in a while and how DARE his friends encourage him.

Yes you’re being unreasonable with the entitlement that you should feel rage about what he wants to do with HIS face. Rage is a strong word about .. a beard.

I don't blame you I hate muffle mouths too. Some do suit it but very few in my opinion

Slow your roll there, keyboard kommando. She said a dirty beard. Not just a beard. A really dirty beard.