Fortunately the bare minimum was already done, so now i only have wrapping, cooking and table setting to do, food all prepped, some part cooked.
needs a wee bit of a tidy, do the floors and of course myself.
washing/ showering and bathing are all very painful and energy consuming even with all the aids.
its not a case of just 'sitting on mumsnet' like portrayals of slatternly women from kitchen sink dramas.
I do my best all the time, I really care and considering my limitations i think i set pretty high standards where iccan which is probablywhy i keep burning out.
i have to weigh up the cost of every single action I take, sitting up , standing, lying down, making a cuppa, changing sheets etc, I use all my energy for the kids, house and work.
I have more time alone sitting than I would choose , I'd prefer to spend my free time doing hobbies or meeting friends but sometimes I just lie when I can to make up for the energy expenditure.
I always feel guilty about resting hence my post on here.
We are all neurodivergent at home and some of my physical issues have been inherited by my kids too.
They actually prefer our house to anywhere else because we are more relaxed. They have said they prefer Christmas just us because its more chilled , less regimented and less pressure than going to other people's house and doing things that family's way.
they're also used to having a disabled mum and although it's obviously disappointing at times they have great full lives, a beautiful home and are very loved and supported.
I believe they have learned compassion partly because of our situation and its good to remind people that we celebrate Christmas to remember the OG of compassion and kindness and his stories, parables, whatever you call them showed real respect for women, the widow's mite story and mary magdelen, doing the best they can with what they've got.
The kids were sick in bed for five days, i was also ill, the house was decorated ages ago for Christmas with top ups here and there when ive been up to it.
Food and presents all bought.
yesterday i paid for them to go their favourite event which they loved, then they stayed with their dad and aren't here till tomorrow so wont be impacted in the slightest by yesterday's non productive day and they'll love their presents and the day plus everything else I do as a decent loving mum .