To just do nothing?

[Zedcarz]

I'm 50, I'm knackered, been nursing sick kids all week plus working and other commitments whilst also experiencing the 'winter bug' for nearly two months.

Tomorrow's Christmas eve, I was hoping to be 'ready', house tidy, presents wrapped etc but instead I've been on the sofa all day.
I have chronic fatigue as well as physical disabilities and neurodivergent conditions and have been wiped out for a few years now.

I'm also menopausal and been too exhausted to take any of my meds, adhd, hrt, pain, or any other practice from my extensive toolbox of things that make it semi bearable sometimes!

I'm unwashed, hair is at the point where I'm considering folowing no-poo as an excuse for the current state (last attempted approx 1990!)

House is a general shithole, although I have presents they're unwrapped and I haven't properly sorted to see if everyone is having fair share etc and had planned to sort today and do possible top up shop tonight/ tomorrow.
Kitchen and lounge and our bedrooms are shocking

I also had lunch date and night out invites today, instead have binge watched Pieces of Her and am really looking forward to Motherland tonight ☺️
I'm in a lot of pain as well as super lethargic, venting a bit here but, am I being a twat just leaving everything?

And your house has gone from a “shithole” to needing “a wee bit of a tidy” . Does that mean someone else in your family helped?

@Wolfiefan but that's the point. It isn't "the feeling of not being able to move", it's the physical inability to move.

In the same way you cant move a broken a limb.

There's a big difference here. My medications are not optional, as I'm reminded again and again. But on the occasions when I'm a physically unable to move (a reality, not a feeling), then I have to suffer the consequences - however serious.

And please remember, I'm not critiquing your lived experience, I am explaining how you have misunderstood the op's (and mine).

Or she's shifted her perspective to make it bearable

Lol your messages are hilarious, please tell me you work in the legal system?
and please god tell me you dont work in the caring professions or anywhere near vulnerable people who need extra support?

If you had been reading as thoroughly as your bizarre line of questioning you'll see I had minimal sleep and wrote I was up early.
I have done shit loads this morning prior to "just situng on mumsnet " as well as last night after I wrote the original post.
I've since had an hour kip, am stiill in a fuckload of pain, sedated by drugs which barrlt even numb the pain but have hugrly sedating effect
Am about to start the next leg of chores including the wee tidy.

So yes, for my standards and as not hosting formally, it really does just need a wee tidy in order for it to be lovely for all of us.
There's nowt the kids can do to help because a) they're not with me as previously posted
B) their Christmas holiday has been a wash out so far due to being bedridden and vomiting etc and missed loads of exciting things.
C) as young carers they already do a lot already
D) it's Christmas and I want them to enjoy it not be trying to make the house nice , they do enough at other times
E) they have their own needs and totally need to decompress,
I want Christmas to stil be magical for them

Absolutely this. You have hit it on the head.
nobody’s got te sams experience as me , everyone's situation is unique. Your resilience depends a lot on whos around, whatever other things are at play, postcode lottery with nhs , schools etc.

It's really good to have input like this from others with chronic conditions to illustrate its not a one size fits all approach to disability and sickness.
hopefully some of the terrie-like detractors will have food for thought when around disabled people in their own lives.
Being challenged about your limitations is extremely upsetting and a big part of why I have shrunken my social interaction so much.
Constantly explaining and defending is draining and also makes me feel vulnerable.
We are crap in this country at understanding extra needs unless we have the exact same experience or are close to someone with complex health needs.

My medication is not 'essential' per se.
As I posted originally, they are in the toolbox of things that make it 'semi bearable' along with many other aids, tens machine, mobility tools etc.
Everything that can help is a temporary measure and is often a lot of faff if its something i need to set up, wear or learn how to use.
im waiting for treatments which will hopefully have more longlasting postive impact and have been managing this on my own for many many years where i was misdiagnosed therefore not getting adequate or appropriate treatment and have become much more ill as a consequence.

despite being prescribed, there's nothing you can do for long term chronic pain, I've had every pain drug known to the UK NHS, they all lose efficacy over time, a lot cuase problems that actually make life harder, sedation, vomiting, weight gain, mofe brain for, urinary issues, liver problems, ive had them all.

the adhd drugs are also a choice but in the wjole they help but if im ill and not orgnisec or functioning well i might take them too late which will then ruin a nights sleep.

both of these pain and ritalin have lot of side effects which aren't always pleasurable and particularly with the pain drugs sometimes the side effects outweigh the benefits.

again, although prescribed the hrt and many vitamin supplements not essentio although when I take them properly they do all make a difference.

theres Such a crossover with physical and neurological conditions, I often have complete inertia and even with the tablets next to me like in bed etc it's still a feat to open the bottle get a drink etc.

Sounds stupid unless you know or understand the brain and body.

I fight through so much to give the kids what they need, and sometimes just have to shut down. Autistic burnout is a thing as well as burnt out by disability and parenting.

It doesn’t sound stupid. I have a whole host of issues. I force myself to do what is needed to stay as well as possible. Pain will always be a part of my life. But I have to carry on. Yes even walking on a broken ankle for four weeks because I didn’t think it was much worse than my normal level of pain! My gabapentin and anti depressants do help but they are only a part of the package.

Oh and I’ve also done the “there’s a glass of water next to me and I’m thirsty but I can’t manage to lift it” thing. I get it!

Wow! That's exactly it, amazing to hear / see someone else say it. It's times like that that fill me with self loathing because 'why can't you just do it?'
I understand re walking on the broken ankle too, there's loads of this going on with one of my kids, and doing so much more with pain because they can't articulate how bad it is due to their nd and because they don't show thr suffering sufficiently enough to be believed and taken at their word when they say they can't do something

I've been thinking for years I have to turn this into something positive and for the greater good , I have been supporting my kids to understand their needs and how to articulate and ask for support when needed as I won't always be around, especially when they move into the world of work later on.

it is so intense advocating so hard for all of us in the face of people like some of the characters here, it's not on how disbelieving people are when faced with invisible conditions andI've had some professionals telling me im a good advocate for my kids, I'm thinking I should retrain and get into advocacy work for my last chunk of my career.
I fear much of it is on a voluntary basis and I don't have capacity for extra work but if there's a chance I could train and do it as paid role then more good might come from it as britain's knowledge and understanding is woefully lacking.

'Mahatma Gandhi — '(When asked what he thought of Western civilization): 'I think it would be a good idea.' '

Yep I have sat there having a conversation about how it’s only a glass, it’s only inches from my hand and I’m being really stupid. All the time getting more and more thirsty and still not able to take a drink. Frustrating and humiliating.

God I know that feeling well, its awful to have that negative self talk for things we actually can't help!
Maybe new resolution should be self compassion!
Hope you had a wonderful Christmas, we did although am beyond shattered now, house is back to square one but im not bothered now the big day is passed and i still have a week off work!
I'm going to try and get rid of loads of stuff to make house more manageable....

my kids are really happy and said it was their best Christmas ever, not too shabby after all!

That is very very far from shabby. Well done you. I’m gradually working on decluttering. Some days are easier than others. Working on what helps each and every day.