DH spending on relatives Christmas presents, AIBU?

[fairylightfanatic]

We are average/slightly below-average earners with reasonable disposable income but saving this up for a house deposit, every penny counts! DH wants to spend £110 on 3 front row theatre tickets for his auntie’s Christmas present with the idea she’d take her friends. She was like a mother to him growing up in the absence of his own.

There are cheaper theatre tickets with equally good views ie in the dress circle but he won’t entertain this and says she deserves the best seats and something that makes her happy, the value is not important to him but I know it will make January tighter than it need be whatever he says.

I don’t want to be controlling but I am anxious enough as it is about the cost of living crisis and think the amount of money spent is excessive when you could get tickets to the same show for £50 in total in the dress or upper circle. AIBU?

Hmm, I actually think the tickets sound like good value and if his aunt is like a mother to him, I can see why he wants to do this for her. If he is confident the seats are the ones she would choose, he should go for it.

What? Are you jealous? Because that’s what it reads like.

How many presents is he buying for his side of the family, compared with yours? What's the total spend?

£110 for 3 tickets isn't a huge amount in the great scheme of things, and I don't see the point of spending similar money on cheaper tickets but then adding on other things that she may not care for, the cost is the same but the value is not the same. He wants to get them good tickets so they have a nice experience, not cheaper tickets and other things.

Plus I certainly wouldn't be buying restaurant vouchers right now. The sector is really struggling and it will be surprising if we don't see some major insolvencies in the next year because most of the chains are propped up by cheap debt, which is unlikely to continue, plus they're facing enormous increases in the cost of fuel and ingredients, plus a 10% rise in NMW next April. So they'll have to increase their prices to keep profitable, at a time when people's disposable incomes are being massively squeezed and won't be able to afford to eat out as much, especially if the price increases.

I think you are incredibly controlling and resentful that he is spending on someone other than you.

£110 for 3 premium position theatre tickets is pretty cheap.

We have vastly different Christmas budgets for the two sides of our family. Mine are €30-ish, DH’s in the hundreds.

Mine would be horrified if we spent that much, and wouldn’t need the pressure to reciprocate.

Gifts are much more important in DH’s family. It is what it is.

YABU. Christmas is not for kids.

This.

How stingy to begrudge this woman a memorable and pleasant outing.

Don't spoil his excitement over this gesture with petty complaints.

Then that is absolutely fine. If is coming out of his "spending money" then its completely up to him.

Agree with this.

Spending limits are a guideline, not a mandate.

Why are you even inserting your opinions about how he spends his money?

It won’t be £110. It’s £330 for the three tickets. Seems a huge amount to spend, especially if it’s going to make money tight next month.

The whole benefit of seperate spending accounts is that it can be spent without the other commenting or complaining. I spent £20 on a mascara, DH likes to buy takeaway coffee. We both think the other is wasting money I expect but that's the point of the spending accounts.

This is probably right. What front row theatre tickets would cost £36.67 each?

You may have set a £30 limit for your family but you don't say how many people. For all you have told us here it could be that his auntie is the only person he is buying for while you might be spending £30on each of several family members.

yeah, this. How many lots of £30 are you spending?

I’d be pretty cross if my husband told me what I could spend on my mother.

How lovely of him to be’lavish’…. His aunty will likely be thrilled and feel very special…what a lovely treat for her….you DP sounds lovely

It’s £110 for the 3 tickets.

It's lovely you have a thoughtful generous DP. Stinginess is awful.
Think also of the good example your DP is setting your kids respecting and being so kind to parents

They aren't the best seats.

Also it depends on what theatre and the time of the show.

I don't understand the querying of the ticket prices - why would the OP make it up?

There are a huge variety of theatres from West End to smaller provincial theatres to off West End to am dram type theatres to student theatres. I have paid in that region even for West End with a good deal/less popular day/time

I don't understand the querying of the ticket prices - why would the OP make it up?

There are a huge variety of theatres from West End to smaller provincial theatres to off West End to am dram type theatres to student theatres. I have paid in that region even for West End with a good deal/less popular day/time

pleasantly surprised there’s no one saying it’s “family money” he shouldn’t be spending blah blah

Theatres on bridges now, they are moving up!

"Christmas is for kids?"
Must have missed that memo.

Yeah. My view is that the OP is being VVU for that comment alone