Its my wife's birthday tomorrow...just a handhold please

[Bog]

And this is the first one since she died. I just want her back with me and our son.

I lost my Dh last summer so it’s my second Xmas without home and it’s bloody hard. People say it gets easier but it absolutely doesn’t.
the hardest part is wearing your mask everyday to face the world and keeping it together.
I understand yr anger, my son is without his dad also.
all you can do is take it one day at a time and cherish her memories. Sending hugs , if you want to pm me pls feel free

I deleted all social media. Her mother just blocked me then I got her husband threatening me then blocked me. I know she regret finding her and she wished she'd never met her.

I really hope karma gets her birth mother and her husband because they are absolute trash personified.

Very wise words from@AcrossthePond55 .
So sorry for your loss OP. Your wife sounds like an amazing person. Handhold from me💐💐💐

Sending big hugs to you and your son. Tomorrow is the birthday of my sister who passed away 20yrs ago (only feels like y’day), so I will be thinking of you tomorrow.

Yes I wish I hadn't told her half sister, but I'm sure she will see something else to moan at me about hahaha, like the fact I let him watch Bing, which she hated. The fact I got him loads of presents for Christmas when "he plays with an empty box for hours on end why tf are you cluttering up with more toys " However she was wrong about the Christmas tree " I bet you when it's Christmas he will pull it down" 😂

Thank you and I'm sorry for your loss.
If that's bts the band then she was a fan of them too.

Hand hold for you. Allow yourself to feel.how you feel. It is not something to get over,it is something we come to live along side. She sounds like she was a wonderful character. Best wishes to you and your son

A very gentle handhold from me too.

This is so hard. My DH died last year, this will be our second Christmas without him. On his birthday this year we still had birthday cake and we went to the restaurant I know he would have chosen. It was really tough though, pretending to my DC that it was completely reasonable to be celebrating his birthday without him. I reasoned that birthdays are for celebrating that someone was born and I still wanted to celebrate that he had been born and had existed and we were lucky enough to have had him in our lives. But you can remember your wife in whatever way feels right for you and your DS.

I am so sorry. Big hugs to you and your son. ❤

A hand hold from me, too. I'm sorry for your loss.

My dad died in March, so we, too, are facing our first Christmas without a loved one.

💐to all who are facing this.

I'm a bit further down the line than you, 5 years since my DH passed, it would have been our wedding anniversary earlier this week, not 1 person sent a message to see how I was! I can promise you, it does get easier. I always go somewhere he loved to go and we had good memories of on his birthday, makes me feel a little like he's there in spirit. Go make memories with your son and always keep her memory alive

So sorry for your loss OP

Sending you both a massive hug and strength. x

Thank you.
Yes, it was indeed the band. Your wife had amazing taste in music 😊

I'm sorry, Bog. This sort of loss is always unbearably hard. But your wife sounds like an absolute hoot. That's a great memory to have.

Oh Bog, she sounds wonderful.
I'm sorry she was taken too soon.

Are you doing anything special tomorrow to remember her?

So sorry.

My mum died this year and it's hard, but at 91 it's normal and not unexpected . Too bloody soon for your wife to go and so much harder as she should still be here with you and your precious child.

I think anger is healthy. It's an essential part of the healing process. Let it clear the works, vent here, write screeds of angry letters, and, when you're ready to let them go, burn them.

I promise you that at some point, especially once you're out of contact and time has removed you at something of a distance from this, you're going to run out of steam. Memories - happy and not so good - will end up back in their rightful place.

Far better than bottling them up and letting them fester.

I lit my candle, as promised.

Tomorrow I will take our son to soft play and probably not do much else. My wife was very lonely and didn't have any friends. She had autism and her humour was a mask. She would often get depressed about not having friends and asked me what was so bad about her.
There wasn't anything wrong with her...it was society and people that were bad to her.
I have to keep it together for the sake of our son but I really wish she was here.

I took our son to soft play and he's now shattered so I watching a walk through of a game franchise she loved. The characters "die" which I wasn't prepared for, the male character is the reason she chose our sons name.

Hi, OP -

I am so sorry for the loss of your DW and your son’s DM. You both sound like wonderful parents.

It is a tough time of year for all of us who are grieving, and your DW’s birthday makes it doubly hard. My beloved baby brother (now in early middle age) died in a freak accident having taken all precautions a few months ago and the bottom fell out of my world. I was just starting to do better when Christmas showed up everywhere and now it is all I can do to get out of bed. His birthday is early next month and I dread it.

Sending you and your DS all best wishes today

@anothergrievingsister .
In a similar position to you having lost my big sister to Cancer a few years ago. I feel your pain. Life is never the same afterwards
Sending you, OP and all the other posters who have lost someone hugs 💔💔💔

Thank you, @Fernticket . I am so sorry about your sister, also. Hugs to you, @Bog and his DS, and everyone else who is grieving at this time.

My DB would be telling us to do his celebrating for him, but it is so hard

I'm very sorry Op x