Why are people on here just so aggressive the past few months?

[Ninjama1]

MN has always been a bit feisty depending too on where you post but it seems in the past few weeks that some people are just ferocious. You cannot say anything without someone jumping on someone else in a thread. Is it dissatisfaction with life? Is it all the cost of living? Are people just so frustrated with everyday life? I'm sure it can't just be me who has noticed?

But the fact that all of human life is here is part of the appeal for me. On that thread about dangerous dogs there was a poster actually 100% seriously and earnestly advocating a total ban on the ownership/keeping of dogs as pets.

I didn't respond but (now I have learnt what it is) I think I may be guilty of sealioning people who post totally hatstand ideas - because it's so obvious that they haven't given it any thought at all.

This.

I can spot them.

The utter nastiness of the response makes them stand out.

I ignore ad chat to everyone else.

It's a fair point. Granted, the incels and fetishists are a definite problem. As to general rude, unsupportive behaviour I agree: don't like it, counter it when you see it unfolding or report the posts/threads that are bashing others.

If a site's emitting waves of negativity, the constant appearance of threads to the effect of 'you're all selfish negative vibe merchants, nobody likes you and you smell' is hardly calculated to foster sunny feelgood vibes. Not least, are those posters really going to read this thread and think 'damn, this is me, I recognize myself and will moderate my behaviour in future?'

Well, maybe on a subarctic day in hell. Which does beg the question as to why so many threads of this nature are posted in the first place.

Yes, too many incels coming to tell us how we're creepy or heightist every 5 minutes. Very tedious.

Yep, have noticed. It's awful here - just asking a simple question gets you jumped on. It's worse than ever. I try to respond positively where possible. Stick with known pleasant threads as much as I can.

Where's this happening? I tend to stick to AIBU.

Absolutely agree.

On the flip side, anyone who doesn’t agree with OP or discourages from feeding OP’s anxiety, is being told they’re mean and shouldn’t post. No one seems to be allowed to have an alternative opinion anymore.

I also find this - it's everywhere. I tend to look at relationships and style and beauty , TV and active. There's definitely something in the air. Maybe people do come mine with their own frustrations.

online

It's not just online, I find it like this in the real world too.

I've worked in the same customer-facing job for 12 years.... the last three has seen a noticeable change in peoples attitudes, they're so much more aggressive

I've been here nearly 20 years, and it has definitely changed. It has always been ... robust. In the early days, it could be pretty cliquey and a bit 'school playground'. But it was often genuinely funny, and nobody had to flag up humour as "lighthearted".

I think it's partly generational - people who are posting now were barely born when I joined MN. My generation mostly just got on with it, with a bit of piss-taking on the side. There's now much more navel-gazing and worrying about perceived slights (hence the ridiculous number of posts by adult women about their "friendship groups").

There is also a lot more real nastiness. It has been worse since lockdown - I think that brought out a certain type of poster. It's now continued due to the cost of living crisis - an awful lot of people are very anxious so see anyone who starts a post about their 4K holiday as failing to "read the room", rather than just scrolling by.

I don't know what all the amateur sleuthing is about, but it's bloody annoying.

Agree. There’s a thread at the moment where someone says she called for help when she fell and her husband didn’t come to her aid. She was upset by this. In the real world, that would be normal, obviously. She’s got so much abuse, it’s almost gaslighting. Just so far removed from your normal layperson’s reaction - as though whatever you post on here is twisted into the most absurd version of itself and then vilified. Not nice.

I thought of this thread when I saw that one @Pineconederby

The first few posters on there were absolute twats to her, seemingly just for the 'joy' of kicking someone in the middle of the night.

but it seems in the past few weeks that some people are just ferocious

Someone seems to post a thread every few weeks saying this - since about 10 years ago.

I agree with the above point: I think the way people engage on social media HAS been getting ruder and ruder for the last few years. I don't know whether it's the way SM is influencing how we relate to each other, or if it's the way the world is and all interaction is getting ruder (I think it is), or if the amount of SM just makes it all more and more visible.

But I agree it's a trend that's been around for years.

It’s not just MN, have you been out there in the world recently? Drivers are vile (and shit), people in shops are completely devoid of self-awareness, anywhere we take our children/dog for a walk nobody smiles or greets others anymore. It’s miserable.

But it’s no surprise, really. So many people are cold, hungry, poor, worried, sick, tired, scared… and there’s nothing they can do to help themselves.

I feel desperately sorry for most of them. Not the ones who voted Tory though, they deserve the consequences of their choices.

I've been here years too, under different names, and I'd say that there has been a rise in black and white thinking combined with a lowering of empathy.

There was a thread the other day that really did shock me with how unempathetic posters were being, particularly after someone linked to the OP's previous thread, dating back 7 years (which used to be a massive no-no on here but now seems to be acceptable) and I read that too. The difference in the amount of empathy and support that the OP got previously compared to now was huge.

Haven't noticed it being more aggressive than normal.

To put it bluntly, a lot of people of all income levels are on a knife edge- but trying very much to keep up appearances and hold it together out there in the non digital world. Consequently their frustration comes out in other ways.