Why are people on here just so aggressive the past few months?

[Ninjama1]

MN has always been a bit feisty depending too on where you post but it seems in the past few weeks that some people are just ferocious. You cannot say anything without someone jumping on someone else in a thread. Is it dissatisfaction with life? Is it all the cost of living? Are people just so frustrated with everyday life? I'm sure it can't just be me who has noticed?

It’s not just the anger and nastiness, I can’t get over how sanctimonious and po-faced a lot of the responses are - especially to threads that are obviously meant to be light-hearted. I think a lot of posters must live in a grim, humourless, puritanical world.
(Awaits snarky responses about me being a ‘lightweight’ and not a deep thinker 😂)

Totally agree, half the people who reply on these posts being rude or aggressive wouldn’t say boo to a goose in RL, but feel they are anonymous and can hide behind the screens here.

There was a post yesterday asking for advice after a bikinis colour had run into another one. The very first response was some dickhead going “are your diamond shoes too tight”

fuck off you absolute knobhead. MN definitely didn’t used to be like this

@FangsForTheMemory · Today 09:44
There have been a LOT of trolls. It has looked like a coordinated campaign at times.

Yes this.

I think all the stolen threads turned into articles put on the DM, Sun et al opened up the floodgates.
I think the world and relationships post Covid have changed irrevocably. We just have less patience for each other's shit. People are more stressed, more isolated and less tolerant. They come here, they read something that flips a switch in their brain..maybe it happened to them or you reminded them of someone and then they use their comments as to vent their anger and frustration at the world.

It's probably males pissed off that women can speak to each other and see they are being collectively oppressed.

It's much better for the patriarchy to keep women isolated and busy with housework and children.

I've been here 10 years + and the only major change I have noticed is the increase in threads moaning about how nasty everyone is. Literally everything else is the same as it ever was (except slightly less swearing I think - which is an imbalance I am trying to redress).

Saw one the other day that wasn’t ‘vicious’, but struck me as an example of how disproportionately angry people get about non-issues and minor differences of opinion on here. Also the way ridiculing someone’s intelligence is a reliable go-to. Something like ‘did you miss the class on how to read for tone in a piece of writing? Do you understand that a generalisation doesn’t mean they are saying there are no exceptions?’.

The weren’t the op (who’d written a pretty standard ‘why do people do X?’), the op’s aibu wasn’t a sophisticated and nuanced literary work and the poster they were replying to hadn’t read the op wrongly from what I could see. The level of anger and condescension was weird.

I’ve been here a verrry long time and spent most of my time eye rolling at these ‘why is everyone so mean?’ posts as well. But I have to say I have been thinking that it has been getting more aggressive lately.

I feel like the site has always been quite honest/sharp/witty. I love the way some posters write and being on here has really made me look at relationships and especially expectations of men in relationships in a different way.

But I do think there has been more aggression and bullishness recently instead of that sharp but ultimately kind wisdom that I liked before.

Maybe as PP said it has always been like that and now everything has been done to death and I’ve been here too long!

I agree withpp that it's very often the first reply that's cunty. I think they think they are hilariously sharp witted and try to control the tone of the thread. I've l also noticed a lot of the time people have started to ignore the first answer.

Depends what you read. The threads that make it into trending are more likely to be like that - people under pressure in life? the Daily Mail brigade? - but people are often more considered if you find conversations through a category in ‘all talk topics’ that you are interested in.

I feel like this last week I can't work out who the trolls are - so many threads and responses where I've thought wtf?

Everyone just needs to chill 😂

I've noticed a spate of really really unkind posts lately. Someone will be talking about their history of trauma or mental health issues or just that they're currently having a hard time and some (not all) of the responses are just incredibly lacking in empathy. People will deliberately misread the OP to justify their cruel responses. Of course people can disagree with the OP but they could so constructively and unkindly, especially when someone is already vulnerable. Lots of the responses clearly aren't trying to be helpful, just pointless spiteful.

@mbosnz I'm sure that's it

I think most of these nasty replies are from men. When I've been on mixed sex forums the nitpicky, pedantic, obtuse posts were usually from the male posters.

People don’t like it when I point it out but the free rein on name changing changes a lot of dynamics. I absolutely recognise the benefits for those who don’t want to leave a trail but it also provides a get-out for those who don’t want to be associated with comments they wouldn’t make if there was a minor degree of accountability.

The only other forums I know with similar degrees of anonymity are the ‘chans’ (4-Chan etc).

More widely than MN and social media generally the past few years have been massive for divisiveness and highlighting inequalities. People aren’t as happy or tolerant as they were and I think just don’t have the capacity to employ much leeway, particularly if they perceive someone as ‘part of the problem’. No matter what that ‘problem’ is.

I also think that this year the amount of sheer shit and ruined plans aren't helping- be it rail strikes, parcels not arriving, border staff on strike at airports, more people needing to drive- big health service issues, people still getting covid, there is a huge feel of unease unless you are rich enough not to worry and even then some of the issues are still there. A lot of people struggling and yet see a lot of people posting about going skiing or debating whether to buy the £700k house or the £900k house. I'm not saying no one should do these things but when you work hard and just about get by- these things can grate!

Honestly? I think somewhere like this is always likely to be more aggressive, angry and slightly downbeat compared to the real world, simply because of the nature of the forums and those who have time to post. I do it when works quiet, hence I joined this week for some discussion, but many others are at home all day and don't have as much to occupy themselves and as they say, the devil makes work for idle thumbs!

This doesn't apply to a majority, but a sizeable enough minority that you notice it.

Oh no, apparently they just 'say it like it is.'

I think the cost of living crisis and the pandemic have made people less tolerant of people being dramatic or over-emotional over minor issues. People saying they are 'heartbroken' because an aspect of their Christmas planning has gone awry, for example.

I don't agree, I think you notice it more depending on your own state of mind at different stages of life. People are basically good

Oh, very definitely. The targets are, tellingly, all emanating from a very similar direction. They make a particular beeline for threads posted by desperate women who are truly struggling as victims of domestic and sexual violence. The general MO is to derail those threads by accusing those trying to support them of being 'man-haters'. Sealioning is also becoming increasingly common on the FWR threads.

Then there are the fetishists. The abundance of arse-washing threads in recent weeks has been a giveaway clue....

No prizes for guessing who these sad sacks are.

I don't go on FWR - and I have just learnt a new term Sealioning.

People seem to be angrier. On here and maybe irl too but maybe not.

I just avoid some posters and it’s improved the site which works for me.

I'm inclined to agree with you on that.

I doubt very much as well that over 30% of posters are on crack and suffering from paranoid delusions.