to be a bit offended by Christmas letter

[Jezzifishie]

My in laws do a yearly Christmas letter. This year has a lovely collage of photos on the front including my DH and our daughter, and his sibling, their partner and child. In fact, the only person missing is me. DH thinks I'm overreacting, but I'm actually feeling quite hurt - surely they've taken just one photo of me in the last year?! I'm feeling a bit invisible and unappreciated.

YANBU. This is super strange - maybe DH should ask them how come you weren't included?

Yes OP I'd be hurt too x

Are you sure you've posed for a picture at some point? I'm rather camera shy and am always eager to be the person behind the camera.

If you're sure they'd have a decent photo then yanbu.

We’ve just received a long Christmas letter from long-standing friends. The images include everyone in their family.
I understand how you feel.
YANBU.

I can see what you mean and how you could be hurt - that said I am not photogenic so I would be thanking my lucky stars I wasn't on the photographs. I think it might be as simple as they just chose the photos they liked of GCs and didn't really think who they had left out. But I don't know.

I do not think you are being unreasonable. Why does your DH think that is okay - you are part of the family and the only one who has been left out. What is your relationship like with them?

They sound like my ex in laws. They didn't do a Christmas letter, but every single photo they had on display in their house were of my brother in law, his wife, their daughter, even their dogs.
Not one of my husband. Quite honestly l didn't care that they didn't have one of me (I don't like having my photo taken, but they had our wedding photos) - but they had two sons. No one coming to the house would have known that.
I found it hurtful for my husband. He denied that there was any favouritism (it was very blatant, his brother and his wife were very obviously the favourites, especially to his dad) but l think that was because it hurt him. He got very reactive and confrontational if l brought it up,, so it must have.
It's very strange and unkind. I really hope your husband speaks to them about it, OP.

He doesn't see the point - said it won't have been deliberate which I can understand, but equally that doesn't help with feeling invisible if I can be forgotten so easily!

Your dh is covering for his parents but is probably a bit embarrassed about you being excluded also. This is his way of keeping the peace I would think.

I'm not particularly fond of photos, it's true - but my MIL takes loads of photos every visit (we see them quite regularly) so I can't believe she hasn't got a single one of me from the last year.

Relationship-wise it's fine, we have a bit of an introvert/extrovert clash but we usually manage to meet in the middle. I don't always join for every visit, but probably about three quarters of them.

That's so sad and so hurtful, I can't understand why parents would do that.

You're obviously much more attractive than any of them. She's jealous of your stunning beauty. 😉

In the flip side, I’m confused why my mil has so many family photo collages and I seem to feature more than her own dc. I works be upset if it was a pattern but as a one off, I wouldn’t take it personally.

Jezziefishie
I thought so too. Yet he'd back them to the hilt every time, even to the point of saying it was me who was being unreasonable.
Even when they were unsupportive to both of us when either of us was ill or hospitalised. Always an excuse why they couldn't do 'whatever' to help.
Yet nothing was any trouble for his brother and his wife.
My parents, especially my dad, were the polar opposite to them. If anything, my mam favoured my husband over me.
I'm well out of it.

Hah!! Thank you for the giggle, that's made my day.

I think you should get a nice photo of you and your husband framed for their next gift. 😀

You're welcome 🤗
I agree about giving them a lovely photo but I'd give them a glamorous one of just you 😂

Call them out on it - speak to them directly, and see what they have to say. I can understand your hurt.

DD of an avid newsletter writer here. Just popping in to say I hate it. My DF (writer) does this sort of sizzle annually - luckily he sends it to me for checking and I amend it so my DH is reflected properly. It’s either pure oversight (she likes a photo you’re not in which is entirely possible, or you’re just less of a priority). My DF just disrespects my DH. Either way, hurtful, unnecessary and thoughtless. Sorry OP - your hurt is totally warranted and you’re not being precious at all.

Do you protest a having your photo taken? Are you likely to take offence to your photo being taken and then used without your “consent” to a photo of this manner? Likely she was worried you’d blow up about the photo were and decided to be discreet and leave you out?

Is this a one off ommission do you think or is it not entirely surprising?.
In either case I'd not raise it. If it's purposeful then you'll only get into their inner circle by sucking up to them; not something I'd be likely to do!

We paid for MiLs choice of our wedding photos (framed). She chose the one of just dh with his db.

So we gave her one of us as well. It briefly went up on the wall then the photo got taken out & the frame used for another not of us!

Next year send them a card full of pics of just you

Exactly the same happened to me! DH and his DB! I laugh about it- but I did notice.