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AIBU?

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Original poster

H so fucking useless

64 replies

uselessh · 21/12/2022 18:04

Is it me or is this just terrible behaviour... read on...

Have just got to my sister's house for Christmas with two small kids under 3.

The journey was the usual, a bit tough with two small ones, but not so bad.

Anyway since we have arrived, he got here. Left his shoes in the middle of the floor, ate ( didn't help clean ) and went to chill in the bedroom. Whilst my sister and I are battling two small kids and trying to cook / clean up/ prepare dinner etc.

I don't think it's normal. It's quite rude, we are in sister's house.

Or am I being too much ? I went downstairs and he just kind of threw my hands in the air at him and he said ' what ? Do I have to be with you the whole time now ??'...

OP posts:
Brightstarowl · 22/12/2022 10:16

Tell him what you want him to do, don't just expect him to guess.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 22/12/2022 10:23

Brightstarowl · 22/12/2022 10:16

Tell him what you want him to do, don't just expect him to guess.

When you are a guest at someone's house, or at home with your own dc, do you need someone to tell you what to do?

Brightstarowl · 22/12/2022 10:27

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 22/12/2022 10:23

When you are a guest at someone's house, or at home with your own dc, do you need someone to tell you what to do?

Show quote history

No I don't thank you very much.....but then I'm a woman, men are....different.

Also, people are different, some people want you to muck in when you stay, whereas others get offended if you try!

Why play mind games?

Herejustforthisone · 22/12/2022 10:35

I’d forcibly send the miserable cunt home and have a nicer Christmas without him.

Draconis · 22/12/2022 11:16

Well he's a lazy arse at home. No one who's not used to kicking their shoes off anywhere would do it at someone else's house.
Though you're there now and together.
Have a calm chat. Tell him what you need and ask him what he needs for all of you to have a more pleasant time.

zingally · 22/12/2022 12:13

Sounds like he doesn't particularly want to be spending his Christmas holiday with his wife's sister, especially when the actual day is still 4 days away at your time of posting. Why have you come so early?

My DHs sister is perfectly nice, but I wouldn't particularly want to hang out with her for 4+ days over Christmas either.

What's the plan to see his side of the family?

ForfuckssakeEXHstopbeingatwat · 22/12/2022 12:13

@Brightstarowl oh come on. Men are not "different" in that they can't possibly be expected to know it's rude to create a mess in someone else's home, leave other people to do all the work and moan about having to pack their own bag with clothes that I bet a million pounds the OP washed, dried folded and put in drawers. If the op went and asked him to muck in, pull his weight, what's the betting he would accuse her of "nagging"?

Original poster
uselessh · 22/12/2022 12:22

zingally · 22/12/2022 12:13

Sounds like he doesn't particularly want to be spending his Christmas holiday with his wife's sister, especially when the actual day is still 4 days away at your time of posting. Why have you come so early?

My DHs sister is perfectly nice, but I wouldn't particularly want to hang out with her for 4+ days over Christmas either.

What's the plan to see his side of the family?

Well, it's a flight away, so..

Also, we see H family regularly. Mine are a flight away, so we don't see them anywhere near as much.

OP posts:
America12 · 22/12/2022 12:24

Hont1986 · 22/12/2022 09:42

If he just drove three hours with small kids then I think he's earned a lie down in a dark bedroom for a while tbh. The shoes thing was a little rude but hardly the end of the world.

Does OP also get to lie down in a dark room ?

toomuchlaundry · 22/12/2022 12:28

Put the kids in the room with him

NowDoYouBelieveMe · 22/12/2022 12:28

Brightstarowl · 22/12/2022 10:27

No I don't thank you very much.....but then I'm a woman, men are....different.

Also, people are different, some people want you to muck in when you stay, whereas others get offended if you try!

Why play mind games?

Show quote history

Men aren't "different" it's just that some men are very lazy and inconsiderate, and are so entitled they won't change.

OP already said she can't tell him anything because he just calls her a nag and plays victim.

It's not a woman's job to make a grown man behave like a considerate adult

PlainJaneSuperBrain99 · 22/12/2022 12:34

You have my sympathy op. My husband pulls this shit. We see a lot more of his family, I'm usually the one being the gracious host looking after them all. On the rare occasions my family come over, my husband goes off and sits in another room.

Newsflash: neither one of us find the other's family delightful, but I make the effort to be polite and foster a good family relationship for my husband and our kids. He, on the other hand, is selfish and sulky. I have to call him on it every time.

Nanny0gg · 22/12/2022 12:47

edenhills · 22/12/2022 08:42

Yabu for "females"

OFFS

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 22/12/2022 14:43

Brightstarowl · 22/12/2022 10:27

No I don't thank you very much.....but then I'm a woman, men are....different.

Also, people are different, some people want you to muck in when you stay, whereas others get offended if you try!

Why play mind games?

Show quote history

Oh give over with the men are different crap. Men are humans with eyes and brains. If shit needs doing they should see it and do it. Just like any decent adult would.

They don't get a Penis Pass to opt them out of cognitive thinking or action.

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