Sad about Christmas - AIBU

[TofuWhatAreYou]

I’m probably being unreasonable but just feel a bit sad and emotional today so hear me out.

when I was younger, Christmas was always a huge thing- lots of family, present swapping, massive dinner, games all night, it was just great fun.

we’ve all grown up now- I’m the youngest of my siblings and they’ve all now got to the stage of staying with their partners at Christmas, and this time they’re all going to their partners family for dinner so it’ll be really quiet at ours. It will still be great, just different.

we also don’t really do presents anymore. It’s nothing to do with financial reasons as we’re all financially comfortable, it’s just we all have everything we need and want and it just seems wasteful to buy things for each other for the sake of it so we just decided to leave it. I know my parents and I buy Christmas presents for charity appeals and I think my siblings do similar, and that’s obviously a much more worthwhile cause than buying each other stuff we don’t need.

but… I feel a bit sad about it. I remember as a child how magical it was to open presents and also to see someone open the present you got them (I would buy presents 6 months early so you can imagine how exciting it was to finally see the person open it!!!). I know it sounds petty, but I think combined with the different type of Christmas Day I just feel a bit sad about it all

i know I just need to accept things are different now and we’ve all grown up, and I’m obviously really grateful for the fact we will still have a great Christmas, but I just feel a bit down about it all. It’s like all those happy memories are so far away now and everything has changed so much

You might find the shopping and wrapping of these presents exciting op....but not everyone does

And you are an adult not a kid. Of course Xmas wil feel different! Don't get why you would feel 'sad' over a natural transition

Totally understand. We have kids now and it's all for them. Which keeps it lovely and magical still, but yes, they are totally different when you're an adult.

I haven't spent christmas with my family for years and years now as they all live abroad (mostly), or across country. With my husbands family, we used to have a second Christmas day as his siblings would alternate Christmas day between families. We also did secret santa for years too and made it extra fun by doing a good £20 gift and a joke gift.

You just need to try and find new traditions, find a second christmas day that you could perhaps all get together on. Something new. It will never be the same as when you were little, but can still be a wonderful family time.

My favourite part of Christmas is the presents. Does that make me 'grabby'? Maybe it does....I dunno.
I like getting new things at christmas.
I include getting a new tree decoration, christmas crafts, christmasy books as part of the whole 'getting presents' even though I get those before the actual day. I get a lot of joy when Paperchase start selling their tree decorations. They are pretty and sparkly. Who doesn't want pretty and sparkly in winter?
In my family we don't go over the top for presents. My main present this year is a £15 Lego set. I get shocked on Mumsnet when I see the posts that are all "I have no clue what to buy my brother in law - budget is £100". I find myself thinking "do people really spend that much?".
@TofuWhatAreYou one thing you said though that made me think - the part where you said you buy the presents 6 months in advance. That must mean you were just buying things fairly random rather than something that the reciever really really wants.
One present I have asked for this year is a certain book. It wasn't even released 6 months ago.
Maybe your family wasn't as excited about the gifts you gave them because they were all just a bit random.

Yeah I completely agree with you!

just RE the buying presents 6 months in advance though, it was actually the opposite and it definitely wasn’t random, I knew exactly what the person wanted and didn’t want it to be sold out come Christmas time. Also, it was usually when I was a child and buying presents for my mum for example, I just got so excited and wanted to start buying stuff for her, it was just because I was an excited kid haha

Wait til kids come along - it’s wonderful when you can see the kids enjoying all the wonders of Christmas and believing all the magic.

The op may not want kids or be unable to have them...

We had wonderful Christmases in the 50s when I was little,all the family converged on my grandparents,it was great seeing the cousins, especially if we stayed over and had to sleep on mattresses in the attic.
Presents were small or there were small gifts of money. I loved saving up my pocket money to buy things for my family!
The adults shared the expense of the meal and brought contributions. It was just a glorified Sunday dinner really, with nuts and crackers!
Fast forward to the 90s, I was a widowed mum of 3. Christmas was fun for them,and for me, but the expense was worrying.
My youngest often tells me how much fun it was, waking me up at 4am to open the stockings! I started getting nice bits of food in weeks before, we didn't have an elaborate dinner but I had a hiding place for crisps,sweets and crackers. We got in stollen and panforte...Christmas got a bit international! I taught Sunday school so the religious aspect was important in our family as was giving to charity.
I have grandkids now and of course it's lovely for them. If I don't see them on the day we meet up several times anyway for the pantomime, seeing Santa,etc. They have their school stuff.Im still working and there is a fun buzz in the office.
It hasn't been a great year for me, I've been unwell a lot,had to work more than I should and haven't seen enough of my partner.I don't feel Christmassy!! But I know when I visit him in London at the weekend I'll do a tour of all the best 'lights' which mean Christmas is coming to me. I'll maybe go to Liberty's. My favourite is the tree at St.Pancras Station though. So much to enjoy. For little expense. He and I will have our Christmas around work or family commitment...it's all good.
I've been lucky enough to be in Lanzarote,Venice and Florida in the run up to Christmas in the past,joys of an off peak holiday.
OP sorry about the rambling,I hope you find your Christmas magic, you seem to have some lovely memories! You can go on having them,they just change, do things that you enjoy, try new things. And Merry Christmas!