Pretending to be someone else - normal or not?

[anon772]

I often pretend to be someone else in my head - usually a character from a book I’ve read or a TV programme or film. They’re not always nice characters either - some are involved in quite shady dealings or have committed bad deeds! They can be male or female, young or old. I suppose the one thing they tend to have in common is that they’re quite strong, charismatic individuals. I will imagine that I am that person when I’m walking down the street or doing mindless household chores. I often pretend to be one person for many months before another character takes my interest.

For context I’m a mum of two and am generally happy with my life with lots going on. So I’m not sure why I do this! Does it suggest that something isn’t quite right with my life, even subconsciously? Or is it just one of those things?

Sounds a very childish and odd thing to do. I thought most people grew out of pretend play.

You clearly thought wrong!

Lots of us are the same. If it's childish and odd, so what? It's not hurting anyone

Oh, I have a whole other life in my head. It’s far better than my real life one. For as long as I can remember I’ve had another life in my head. It changes storylines now and again.

Totally normal.

Gosh I used to do this when I was younger and still do! I still occasionally daydream I'm with my ex and he comes knocking at my door. I even reenact it sometimes, what would I say or do. It's to escape reality sometimes.

I’m so intrigued what sort of people do you become and what storylines? Wish my brain was this interesting

I spent hours being Lady Mary from Downton in my head while on maternity leave. Unfortunately the servants never actually materialised.

I replay old incidents in my head and empower myself so it plays out differently as well.

How do you think novels, films, plays and tv series happen if not for people imagining other lives and ways of doing things?

Why is it maladaptive?

It has never stopped me doing anything in real life; just makes the full bits more interesting.

*dull

www.discussingpsychology.com/maladaptive-daydreaming/maladaptive-daydreaming-vs-daydreaming/

If it doesn't cause you emotional distress or doesn't cause interference with life functioning then it's not maladaptive daydreaming.

While normal daydreaming rarely has any impact on one’s larger life, MD can steal time and focus away from work, social relationships and other important areas of normal functioning.

People you know? Does it help you feel more kindly disposed to them in real life now? Or are you murdering heartless self-serving politicians and sleazy criminals?

Me too. I quite fancy being an Olympian in training. It might make me more energised.

Wow. This is an eye opener! Im not sure if im missing out or not.

Oh, I have always daydreamed, and when I was younger I had a whole alternative persona who was, as you say, confident and charismatic - she even had her own name and I would 'put her on' when giving presentations or in ward rounds.

I've gradually morphed into her over 40-odd years - except she is still thin and has thick hair!

If it isn't causing you bother or interfering with real life then by definition it isn't maladaptive.

Do you take it as far as acting out the character in your actions towards other people? If they're an antihero that might cause issues depending how extreme you make it. But if it's just daydreaming for amusement to yourself it's completely harmless.

I was reading a magazine the other day and read an article that recommended doing this as a key to good mental health and realising your dreams. OK, I thought, sounds fair enough for a few minutes at a time

Then she said she’d spent a whole weekend being Nancy from ‘Oliver!’ and kind of lost me.

Maybe something in between?

Yessssss