Pretending to be someone else - normal or not?

[anon772]

I often pretend to be someone else in my head - usually a character from a book I’ve read or a TV programme or film. They’re not always nice characters either - some are involved in quite shady dealings or have committed bad deeds! They can be male or female, young or old. I suppose the one thing they tend to have in common is that they’re quite strong, charismatic individuals. I will imagine that I am that person when I’m walking down the street or doing mindless household chores. I often pretend to be one person for many months before another character takes my interest.

For context I’m a mum of two and am generally happy with my life with lots going on. So I’m not sure why I do this! Does it suggest that something isn’t quite right with my life, even subconsciously? Or is it just one of those things?

Ditto as above, I do this and it's linked to a combination of trauma and ADHD. For the most part it is harmless fun and I actually enjoy it, but when I get stressed or having a particularly bad time it can sometimes make things seem worse.

A few years ago I wrote a novel (just for fun, not published) and when I struggle to sleep I dream up scenes for the sequel. It really helps me to sleep.

I also daydream whilst doing mundane tasks at work. One is that I could be a famous, successful YouTuber! And Artaud will be clamouring to work with me! I’m not aware that I have ADHD but I need to keep my mind occupied. I was bullied as a child and I retreated a bit into a fantasy land, I think I find comfort from that even into adulthood.

I don’t see it being an issue as long as it doesn’t negatively affect my real life relationships.

*Artists not Artaud. What is Artaud?

I do this and always have - until I was an adult I didn't realise people people didn't always daydream as much as I did. I've now been told by my psychiatrist it's maladaptive daydreaming (someone else on this thread has mentioned this too). I have also been diagnosed with ADHD and up to 20% of adults with ADHD daydream in this way.

One example is that as a child I used to have a bus journey of 1 hour 30 minutes to school every morning, and the same every night. I used to look forward to this 90 minutes of time because I daydreamed the whole time. I would put my headphones in and listen to the same album every day and I used to imagine myself in all sorts of situations. The one I can remember most vividly was where I invented my own sport where you'd run really fast, shoot things with arrows, jump onto a horse and gallop along, shooting more targets etc. I, obviously, was the champion of this sport I'd made up, and I designed my uniform down to the last detail in my head. This daydream topic went on for months, every day I'd pick up where I'd left off the night before and I even imagined the regional, national and international competitions of this sport etc. Sounds so silly now but it was so immersive and interesting at the time.

I also used to have imaginary friends and imaginary worlds, all through my childhood and up into my mid-teens, that I would spend hours in. There were a lot of times in my life where I spent more time in my imaginary world than real life so to speak.

When I was present in real life, I often played the character of my imaginary self in my imaginary world, as she was much more confident and successful than "I" was.

I would just like to add to my previous comment that it isn't always fun and games.

I have a crown court case in the new year against someone who committed a serious crime against me. The vivid images of him tracking me down after the case, following me, finding me, all the things he'd do, the scenarios I might face, have all been played out over and over in my mind so clearly. I can almost imagine things in real-time too.

If I'm walking to my car at night after work, I can vision him behind the fence, behind the wall, creeping alongside the cars waiting for me. It's not always as fun as it sounds.

I’ve done it since… I don’t know I remember being a young teen and doing it… guessing I did it as a kid, but at that age it was more “socially acceptable”
its really just something to pass the time when doing boring (but necessary stuff)

I've always had this since a child

I pretend to be anything from an undercover Government operative to a high-class escort, in my head.
I also make up full dialogues for people that I see in cafes, while I'm people watching, etc.

I've also rented a cosy little bedsit and often go there to read, nap, knit and generally escape people. Again, in my head. It's lit by fairy lights and has unlimited shortbread and sweet tea. It's heaven.

I do this and don't see any harm except as pp mentioned imagining bad stuff in cinema quality.

I don't understand what people who don't do it think about all day. I guess just what to have for tea etc. Sounds a bit dull!

This are the top three scenarios I rely on to get to sleep!

😁

Yessss!!!! I am so going to be someone else next time the cat throws up/ I have to mop the floor/ do the dishes...in fact from now on full stop.

I do a lot of this and have as long as I can remember. I have complicated other lives going on in my head. The same characters last for years and I know a lot about them - although things change a bit over time to fit in with interests me. They’re all amazing and have interesting, complex lives. Sometimes I’m one, sometimes I’m others. They’re mostly interrelated. I also make up fictional characters (that are essentially versions of me) in my favourite tv shows and books and have complex ways in which the story differs to accommodate that.

I don’t think it’s maladaptive because it doesn’t interfere with day to day life (much!) and isn’t related to stress or trauma. I’m not ADHD as far as I know but I do have trouble concentrating a lot. The main thing that worries me is that it’s all a bit Mary Sue - my characters have few flaws and I fear would make rather a dull and unconvincing story in real life, which maybe indicates a bit of a lack of imagination / delusions of grandeur.

That sounds very entertaining, OP!

Have you tried writing any stories? I read a blog the other day and the blogger said that one of his reasons for writing fiction is that "Most writers are fairly dull—I certainly am. Their (and my) writing is a substitute for an interesting life". I thought that was pretty interesting, but then Ian Fleming, who wrote the Bond stories, was said to be pretty dull too.

I forgot to add to my post - I've also murdered at least a dozen people too. I've planned to minute detail, I've carried it out and nobody will ever find the bodies.
I'm so glad that people can't see inside my head.

I don't do this but I do enjoy a good day dream...this sounds like fun, I'm going to try it...

I once drove an army to London and burned it to the ground 😁

I do this all the time and can't remember a time when I didn't. My 4 year old has started doing it too.
'I'm going to think about fighting baddies until I fall asleep'

I do the same, not as much as when I was young. It's good to have a fantasy life as long as you don't start believing it is true. We all need to escape sometimes.

When I was young I'd daydream about twins, a girl called Mel and a boy called Joe who had very complex back stories and lives, and a huge supporting cast of characters. They each had traits that I really admired and when I had to do something scary, unpleasant or difficult, depending on the situation I'd channel one or the other. What would Mel do now? How would Joe answer that? It was actually very empowering and got me through some tough times. They faded away in my teens, but even now I'll occasionally see someone and think, Oh, he looks like Joe! (Mel looked like a prettier version of me!)

I don't really pretend like i'm someone else but I do often daydream when I'm doing nothing about a life totally different than my current life, so I"m still me but more attractive, more fabulous, with more money 😂

This is how I get myself to sleep at night. Usually I’m a pop star but I can also be a criminal mastermind or politician 😂😂

I also do this, it's called maladaptive daydreaming apparently used to escape reality. Works well for me so I will carry on

The more I think about this, the more I wonder why I'm not doing it. Instead of sitting fuming when my tube train is sitting in a tunnel, I could use the time positively to be an Olympic gymnast, or the female version of Volodymyr Zelenskyy.

JK Rowling told a story once about a little boy who asked her, ‘where do you get all your ideas?’. She answered, ‘the same place you get your ideas’, but the little boy just looked sad and said, ‘I don’t have any ideas…’

I feel like that little boy reading this thread! I can’t imagine (clearly!) having all of this going on in my head.