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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel 'touched out' by my pets?

94 replies

undermyskon · 20/12/2022 21:18

I have two cats and two dogs and I just feel so irritated and 'touched out' by them recently. I love them all to bits, I really do but when I'm home I honesty do not get a moment to myself.

I have a 9 year old and although she isn't physically demanding, she is emotionally then when I sit down at night when she goes to bed I have animals crawling all over me. Right now I have one dog on my leg, one dog leaning on my back and a cat on my chest clawing at me as soon as I stop clapping him.

My dogs follow me everyyyywhere, to the toilet and if I don't let them in they whine outside. Whenever I sit down, even just for a ten minute coffee the dogs are up licking me, clawing at me to pet them and constantly wanting a cuddle.

I really do love these animals but the constant physical touching is really starting to irritate me. I wouldn't mind at the end of the night on my terms but I feel suffocated and like I just don't get a break.

I remember feeling this way when I was breast feeding but I dont know, do others feel like this with their pets?

OP posts:
LesOliviers · 20/12/2022 22:32

Libre2 · 20/12/2022 21:42

No. I have a greyhound. She is beyond disinterested unless there is food.

My grey's the total opposite. I swear to god, she'd peel my skin back to climb inside me if she could. If she's not touching me, she's staring at me, all the bloody time. I love her so much, but she's very intense!

PureBlackVoid · 20/12/2022 22:42

I get it. I have 3 cats who are the the best cats in the world. I adore them but I do sometimes pretend to be asleep in the middle of the day, just to have 10 minutes.

PugInTheHouse · 20/12/2022 22:52

I have 2 dogs and 2 cats, I definitely feel the same at times. I have a very greedy pug so it is a nightmare to ever eat without him being in my face, he seems to be getting worse with food which is so stressful. Got a 40kg 10 month old pup also who doesn't know his own strength and is very playful. Both love cuddles.

The cats are more aloof if the dogs are in the same room but if not they are in my face constantly wanting attention. It's lovely of course but very full on. I always have 2 of the 4 pets sleeping with me, the big dog sleeps on the floor as he's huge but he still likes to be close. Sleeping is chaotic at the moment to be honest and I'm exhausted.

I haven't actually wrapped any Christmas presents yet as need a room without pets attacking the paper etc.

I'm on holiday at the moment and both dogs adore our dog sitter and are mega full on with her and they will be worse with us when we get back as a result.

They are all gorgeous but i often wonder how on earth I ended up with 4 pets.

FlyingPandas · 20/12/2022 22:56

Sounds awful OP - I'm slightly gobsmacked at the number of people saying aww no I love cuddling my animals and can't get enough of them! I feel anxious just reading some of the posts. I love cats and dogs but I couldn't cope with having them snuggling up to me 24/7, I need my personal space too much.

Rehome them all and get some guinea pigs Wink guineas are lovely snuggly pets but can only be near you when you physically lift them out of their hutch! Grin

OK, I'm being slightly facetious but on a serious note can you not just shut yourself in a room, refuse to allow them in and give yourself a bit of pet free downtime?

Bestcatmum · 20/12/2022 22:57

I think my cats feel touched out by me. Elderly cat has gone off upstairs for a break and the kitten just kicked me for messing with her belly. They will both be in bed with me later though.😁

Puppamumma · 20/12/2022 23:01

Our Labrador must be cuddling all the time unless anyone has tasty snacks therefore you are surplus to her requirements. I love how snuggly she is nothing beats sitting with her heartbeat and warm fur.

Smellywellyhoo · 20/12/2022 23:02

It's not an odd question. Four pets is a lot and clearly sounds like it's overwhelming for you, as well as a few other posters. Purchasing each one was a conscious decision and I just wonder about the thought processes behind it when you find them so difficult to cope with 🤷🏻‍♀️

Original poster
undermyskon · 20/12/2022 23:06

Smellywellyhoo · 20/12/2022 23:02

It's not an odd question. Four pets is a lot and clearly sounds like it's overwhelming for you, as well as a few other posters. Purchasing each one was a conscious decision and I just wonder about the thought processes behind it when you find them so difficult to cope with 🤷🏻‍♀️

I bought the two cats together (same litter) and the two dogs together (different litters) around three years apart.

OP posts:
HRTQueen · 20/12/2022 23:07

I’m have a bath

I’ve shut the door and the cat keeps meowing he is really annoying me

now I feel guilty for even thinking that as he is so old

Original poster
undermyskon · 20/12/2022 23:08

Smellywellyhoo · 20/12/2022 23:02

It's not an odd question. Four pets is a lot and clearly sounds like it's overwhelming for you, as well as a few other posters. Purchasing each one was a conscious decision and I just wonder about the thought processes behind it when you find them so difficult to cope with 🤷🏻‍♀️

I don't find them 'so difficult to cope with'. I would like my space once in a while but have stated several times that they are a joy and I adore them.

OP posts:
AlmostAJillSandwich · 20/12/2022 23:12

One overnight at my boyfriends when his mum was away and 2 of her 3 dogs were glued to me all day, overnight and all the next day. It was overwhelming, don't know how she does it every single day. It surprised me because on the regular daytime visits i love picking the little one up for cuddles etc but the lack of space and not bneing able to move, it was too much. I'll stick to my hamsters and snakes!

pinkpotatoez · 20/12/2022 23:24

I have two indoor cats that follow me everywhere, plus I work from home. If I take a nap, they take a nap, if I go and make food they must be waiting at my feet for scraps. If I have a bath they sit on the ledge and watch. Although at times they piss me off beyond belief, I'm currently pregnant and will miss it just being us during the day and I love that they are so attached to me. I hope the baby will bring a bit more of a boundary between us😂

Sukisal · 20/12/2022 23:36

@janeeyreair yes! But aloof is NOT to be used as an excuse for nervous. Salukis should be aloof- they have little regard for anyone not in their circle, and even those in their circle are expected to be sensible about their demands on a Salukis time and patience. They shouldn’t be nervy. Young ones often go through a wimpy stage but adults should behave exactly as you describe. My dogs would consider being all over the builder spaniel style as being very gauche!

and as for the “why have so many!” Posters,.,, because, like the OP I can afford them and o love them. Doesn’t mean I don’t have house rules though..,, following me to the bathroom is banned for human kids and canines here!

longtimemuchchange · 20/12/2022 23:40

was thinking the same - Velcro dog currently asleep between my legs

Salome61 · 20/12/2022 23:47

I used to be like this with my late dog sometimes, he was my shadow. I'd do anything to cuddle him again and do regret the times I shooed him away. They are only showing you that they love you :)

Can you have 20 minutes to yourself in the bath - with the door shut?!

CaponeOnTax · 20/12/2022 23:50

What breed are the dogs?

mondaytosunday · 21/12/2022 00:04

I have two dogs and two very affectionate cats. But I can say no and the dogs get it, the cats may need a bit more physical reminder about what that means.

DesperateHousewife2018 · 21/12/2022 01:16

DuncanBiscuits · 20/12/2022 21:28

They’re not Boston Terriers, by any chance, are they?

I’ve got three, and personal space isn’t really on their radar…

I have two and they are complete space invaders. How you cope with 4 I'll never know 😂😂 bloody love their snoring, farting-selves more than anything though!

GLADragss · 21/12/2022 01:21

Maybe you could work on training your dogs so they’re not up on the sofa with you and stay on their bed when you’re going to the toilet or need some peace. It’s like crate training but instead of the crate, their safe space is their bed.

MotherofDogs3 · 21/12/2022 03:08

I never feel like this with my dogs or other people's dogs infact love clingy dogs 😂but I do feel like this about kids! I don't have kids yet but dreading it already.

OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow · 21/12/2022 03:26

Sukisal · 20/12/2022 21:49

Me too #predictable

Show quote history

Yet I have a whippet and she is Velcro and so excited when you come back after hours and hours (to the loo)

EllesB · 21/12/2022 03:46

Oh god yes, my dog is an absolute mooch. It’s not just that she’s needy but that she’s demanding about it, drives me nuts. I have to use the “leave it” command about myself to get her to let me alone! Then she mopes off to her bed and sulks for an hour or two as if I’m just the worst owner alive. Gives me a bit of a complex to be honest.

My cat is also very affectionate but not as demanding. I can cuddle the crap out of her and then lovingly yeet her off the sofa a few times when I’ve had enough and she takes the hint. 😂

longcoffeebreak · 21/12/2022 03:58

Yep, same here!!

I have to periodically shove them off and say 'enough' or 'in bed' or I would be
under a pile of poodles all trying to lick my face and make me tickle them 24/7.

If I am on my Ipad or phone they will head it it from underneath to knock it out of my hand so my hand is on their head and be like "hello, remember me?" "Tickle this!!"

TheLadyOfHay · 21/12/2022 04:10

One of my DCats is a Velcro cat. Likes to sleep with me at night preferably facing him with an arm round him. He gets cross if I turn over and then jumps on me until I turn back. I love them however and was very grateful for their warmth when it was so cold recently

Baconand · 21/12/2022 04:42

We lost all 3 of our cats in different, tragic, circumstances over 12 months. We’ve been without house animals (got more outside) for 18 months and it’s awful. I was completely touched out when they were here, very needy and now I am bereft.
I’m looking forward to being touched out again (cat searching in 2023 once house renovations are done).