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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to practice the piano

54 replies

TooTiredToWork · 20/12/2022 17:14

I started learning the piano during lockdown - initially on an electric keyboard and when I passed my Grade 4 I treated myself to a proper piano. I have absolutely loved learning an instrument and feel I am doing quite well - preparing for my Grade 5 and playing some grade 6 and even 7 pieces

The problem is my DW doesn’t like me practicing too much. Because obviously the piano doesn’t have headphones and it’s in the living room where the TV is. She likes watching TV most of the evening. At present we have negotiated 10min a day, which doesn’t feel nearly enough. Mainly I practice when she’s out - but work schedules mean that’s not too often

I know she doesn’t really like classical music (which is mostly what I play) but AIBU to ask if I can play a bit more?

PS - I sold the keyboard to help fund the piano. So that’s not an option

OP posts:
OldEvilOwl · 20/12/2022 17:17

10 mins a day is ridiculous. You should be able to have longer than that, they need to compromise

neverknowinglyunreasonable · 20/12/2022 17:18

As a compromise could you practice for longer with just one hand?

Fireandflight · 20/12/2022 17:19

Can you afford a TV for her bedroom?

TBOM · 20/12/2022 17:19

neverknowinglyunreasonable · 20/12/2022 17:18

As a compromise could you practice for longer with just one hand?

What????

RegularNameChangerVersion21 · 20/12/2022 17:20

Surely she can find something else to do for at least 45 minutes so you can practise properly? Can you negotiate a time when she's in the bath/cooking dinner/wshing up etc anyway?

Ijuststoodonlego · 20/12/2022 17:22

You need longer than that imo.

Well-done by the way, gives me inspiration!

YANBU.

BisodolGuzzler · 20/12/2022 17:24

neverknowinglyunreasonable · 20/12/2022 17:18

As a compromise could you practice for longer with just one hand?

You win the internet today Grin

Fenella123 · 20/12/2022 17:25

You've done pretty well with your progress!

If the marriage is going to last - consider selling the piano and getting a top quality electric one with headphones. Weighted keys, the lot. You'll be able to practice as much as you light, and no piano tuner fees.

If this is just one of many issues though... Well.

endofthelinefinally · 20/12/2022 17:25

That is really sad. Nobody needs to be watching TV all evening. I am very impressed at your progress OP. Surely your wife could find something other than TV to do for an hour?

Original poster
TooTiredToWork · 20/12/2022 17:26

Unfortunately we have a fairly open plan downstairs so you’d have to listen to it wherever.
One solution would be to sell the piano and buy a decent electric piano (with headphones) - but even the good ones aren’t the same feel or sound to me

OP posts:
FoxtrotOscarFoxtrotOscar · 20/12/2022 17:26

Hats off to you. Wonderful progress.
I started 4 years ago, hate practising, and doubt I'd pass Grade I.
My teacher says 10 mins/day is the absolute

FoxtrotOscarFoxtrotOscar · 20/12/2022 17:27

absolute minimum.
What a shame your wife doesn't encourage you.

thisplaceisweird · 20/12/2022 17:29

she needs to get some headphones and watch tv on her laptop or something, at least for 30mins per day

Consufed · 20/12/2022 17:29

Divide the time you both have in two. She chooses what happens when it's 'her' time, and vice versa. A 50/50 split is fair, surely?

lunar1 · 20/12/2022 17:29

Start by restricting her TV to 10 minutes a day, and then you can negotiate fairly from there.

bridgetreilly · 20/12/2022 17:50

An hour for piano practice is reasonable. DW can go and cook dinner/clean up/have a bath/read a book/scroll mumsnet for an hour.

pinneddownbytabbies · 20/12/2022 17:55

TooTiredToWork · 20/12/2022 17:26

Unfortunately we have a fairly open plan downstairs so you’d have to listen to it wherever.
One solution would be to sell the piano and buy a decent electric piano (with headphones) - but even the good ones aren’t the same feel or sound to me

Yamaha electric pianos with weighted keys are good, but their higher-end ones are definitely not cheap.

latetothefisting · 20/12/2022 18:09

10 mins is ridiculous, half an hour a day would be minimum. She surely can't spend 6 hours every evening watching tv, if so she's the one who needs to get a new hobby! I can't believe there's not something she doesn't do for half an hour a day that she can get on with while you practice, whether that's cooking (and then you clean up after), having a shower, whatever.

WhatevaTreva · 20/12/2022 21:04

I agree that maybe she could watch tv using headphones from a laptop or whatever. ‘10 minutes’ 🙄 ridiculous

napody · 20/12/2022 21:09

Noooooooo don't get an electric piano! Music teacher friends of mine had a top of the range one for years but would always comment on how much nicer my real one was to play... they've finally treated themselves to a lovely new yamaha upright. An hour is perfectly reasonable if youre being flexible around times.

Mangledrake · 20/12/2022 21:12

More time practising would be very reasonable

Keep the piano

Invest in headphones for her to watch TV with - any smart TV should be able to cope. Good, noise blocking headphones will be a sensible investment

Mangledrake · 20/12/2022 21:13

And well done. Keep going. Your pleasure in life is important

user143677433 · 20/12/2022 21:16

Get her some noise cancelling headphones. Not noise blocking, but good quality noise cancelling.

LindorDoubleChoc · 20/12/2022 21:20

Good lord you've done well to get to Grade 7 in less than 3 years! You are some sort of prodigy. Better get a You Tube channel.

StillMedusa · 20/12/2022 21:22

She's being unreasonable.. surely she can go and have a bath, or do something else for an hour?
Having said that (and I also started playing during the second lockdown..I'm no where NEAR your level yet!) pianos are loud. I wanted a real one but did settle for a mid range digital precisely because I wanted to be able to play whenever, without disturbing dh if he was in bed early (he works shifts)

It's not AS good, of course not, but it is pretty decent (fully weighted keys etc) and I just plug headphones in.

Does she have a hobby restricted to 10 mins a day?!