Do your 11 year olds have Snapchat and Tim Tok

[chrispot]

I know you have to be 13 but have you let your 11 year olds have these apps?

My DD 10 does.

No phone in our house will have Tik Tok, it’s a security risk.

Snapchat we’ve allowed as 11 year old was adamant it would only be used for messaging. Turns out it wasn’t, but to their credit they deleted the app unprompted.

That's awful. Strictest settings here. Only I can install apps. Only people in contacts can ring. DC know exactly why as we've had many discussions about safety and sensible usage.

I don't care if people say "wrapping in cotton wool". Rather that than seeing inappropriate content, bullying etc. Luckily, DC friends parents are similarly cautious.

@Rosamunde its the fact that you can’t check the chat, as a parent. Not like you can with WhatsApp.
plus it’s rife with bullying and dick pics

‘will say that my friends young teen wasn’t allowed any social media but sneaked some apps onto her phone anyway and installed and uninstalled the apps at her leisure, so her parents didn’t know for long enough.’

we use an app that prevents kind of thing that plus our accounts are linked so we have to approve all apps. Spyware basically, but we also have open convos with our kids about what they can and can’t have and why, we are struck and consistent on checking what’s on their phones, and there are consequences for misusing phones or similar.

don’t give a monkeys what anyone else thinks, at 11 and 13 they are vulnerable online and need parenting around this stuff

Similar post to mine @Givemyheadpiece

We've been having conversations about internet use since they were in primary school so they are used to it. So far, no inappropriate use either because they know what is at stake.

My 12yo has Snapchat but not TikTok. He is also on a few WhatsApp groups with his friends and classmates. I check his phone most nights. He sends a message maybe once a fortnight, it's mostly, by his own description, other kids chatting nonsense that he doesn't involve himself with but harmless enough in the circles he moves in. We talk about the dangers regularly and he is very mature for his years.

No way, my 11 year old doesn’t have a phone. She’ll probably get one in the next year or so but will definitely not be allowed any social media. If that’s wrapping in cotton wool I don’t care. Young girls in particular are incredibly vulnerable to the content being pushed to them via these irresponsible apps.

Nope

Do you let your child read the Beano? Imagine if there was someone at the Beano printers that also worked for less child friendly magazines. Occasionally they insert photos of torture and rape into the magazines, or adverts for"penfriends". Nobody knows how to stop this from happening! Your child thinks it's all normal and ok because you have said that they are allowed to read the Beano.

Yes I know it's not the same as Snapchat etc, but I was trying to think of a pre - internet equivalent. I am not sure why so many people are so reluctant to stop their children from potentially accessing things on the internet that they would never tolerate in other forms of communication.

No to both at 11. Now 12 and has had Snapchat for a month or 2 and are allowing a family linked Tiktok to be set up today

What's the point in that?
You will never know what you can't see.

No way to tik tok. Its full of porn, the algorithm will feed you whatever you look at regardless of if its about self harm or suicide, there are many nutcases such as that Andrew Tate spewing misogyny and bile, normalising fringe views as FACT. No no no it's a sewer.

Eventually at say 14 or 15 I'm going to have to equip DS (12) for the real online world and will loosen the apron strings but am going to have to spend a lot of time teaching them to navigate social media and keep a one eye on what he reads.

Snap chat he has and its caused problems falling out with friends. I trust him not to talk to strangers online but i am concerned about the tik tok scroll of doom. It's sucha time suck (she says on mumsnet!!!😄🙄)

No way. My 14 year old only got them at the end of year 9 and I wasn't v happy about it...

I am not sure why so many people are so reluctant to stop their children from potentially accessing things on the internet that they would never tolerate in other forms of communication.

It's like letting in all the worst people in the world in through your front door. You wouldn't do that if you had to let them physically through the front door, so why allow it through social media? What's worse, you have no idea that these people have said or shown allowed to your child. And that's not even counting peer-on-peer abuse.

RTFT and reconsider?

The idea that it's fine to allow them as long as we have 'communication' is so bizarre as well.

You wouldn't bring a stranger into your house to show your 11 year old his dick, but it's fine to risk on screen because you can just 'talk' about it

Nope, absolutely not.

No. And I am quite lax with other things compared to most on here. There is nothing good for an 11 year old on tiktok

No, my 11 year old doesn't have a phone yet. All but my 18 year old have old phones that aren't compatible, though my nearly 16 year old sometimes uses a laptop which I guess she could be using tiktok on, but she says she doesn't get the point - "anything that good on it shows up everywhere else online."

Whether 'most' will have it will depend on the area and their social circle - and how those circles clash. The 'drama kids' at my girls' secondary school are more on TikTok and Snapchat which always have something going on. This week, it has meant an issue with one of them taking pictures of some kids, including one of my girls, to post with nasty captions on Snapchat. Last week it was one of them filming a known drug spot which sparked a school wide safeguarding email about keeping tabs that our kids aren't going there. Them using it has been more offputting to my daughters than anything I could do. It's as much of an identity thing not to use an app as the ones they do use.

My teenagers are more discord kids because they use it when playing games and for my oldest, D&D and similar. That has its own benefits and risks, we've had to deal with people trying to scam him through it. My 18 year old also has instagram for his photography - and the memes apparently.

I meant to add, my 11 year old does watch YouTube shorts. Is this the same as TikTok?I'm worried it's pretty much the same.... She loves it

11 year olds at secondary school usually have both (in my experience).

Spend time using them both. Then spend time using them like a child. Read up about them. Then make an informed choice. Don't be a sheep or take the easy route and just say yes. Don't outsource your decision to parents you know nothing about.

No, my nearly 11 year old has a phone, but no social media, no WhatsApp, nothing. He has recently asked for WhatsApp but I've said no to that. I want to hold off for as long as possible. I know things will change next year when he goes to secondary school. It's difficult trying to find the line between protecting them and growing up- well for me it is any way. He's only recently had a phone and isn't allowed on it past 7 on week days and 8 on weekends. Not sure if we're being a bit strict.

Not being too strict. Not at all. Hold out for as long as you can. Explain why.