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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Been asked PUBLICLY if I am 'a gypsy' ..

66 replies

cherryyy · 20/12/2022 13:31

So I have been back at work today, after having been off on Thursday & Friday with the awful lurgy that seems to be doing the rounds!

On Thursday morning, one of my colleagues came to my home to drop off a company laptop and some other paperwork that i needed to continue to WFH whilst I was unwell. My manger had asked me to do so, so that I don't spread the virus. I thought nothing more of it.. I took the items from her at my doorstep, we had some small talk before I thanked her and logged on to continue working for the day.

Today, I went back into the office as I'm feeling better. Once I'd sat down, an different member of staff decided to shout across the office to me to ask (in his exact words) 'hey, Cherry.. are you a gypsy? XXX colleague said that you live in a massive house and there was a transit van on your driveway' I looked up at him as I was honestly so taken aback.. before he then went on to say 'there's no shame in it, you can tell us. It's just some people aren't keen on... you know...'

I don't have a clue what he's talking about, and I felt a flood of embarrassment wash over me. I don't even know why. Just being called out over something so random (and untrue) in the office in front of so many people, I guess.

I responded by explaining that I am in fact not, but that there would be absolutely no need for him to feel any differently about me if I were. My DH drives a sign written company van for his work, and that I don't understand where this has come from.

AIBU to be completely confused and taken aback?! I don't know what to do from here. I feel really strange about it. Especially the fact I've been clearly judged and talked about in the office, and then publicly also.

OP posts:
2bazookas · 20/12/2022 15:53

I'd report their discriminatory harassment to HR.. HR can explain race law to the offender.

CustardySergeant · 20/12/2022 15:57

"Actually, OP, if your boss gave out your home address to a random colleague without your consent, he was in breach of privacy laws."

Since the OP had agreed that "one of my colleagues came to my home to drop off a company laptop and some other paperwork that i needed to continue to WFH whilst I was unwell." how else could that happen without them being given the OP's address? Obviously it was with the OP's consent.

Choconut · 20/12/2022 15:59

'It's just some people aren't keen on.....you know'

That's the bit that does it for me, that shows that this definitely isn't just curiosity but nastiness.

EmmaAgain22 · 20/12/2022 15:59

Sidebar
does anyone else hear the word "gypsy" and immediately start singing the Fleetwood Mac song in their head? Such a beautiful song.

MistletoeandBaileys · 20/12/2022 16:00

@mathanxiety 100% correct on all accounts.

OP not only have they failed Equality and Diversity Training 101, they have also implied that because of your perceived background that people would be wary of you.

Plus as another poster said, giving out your address to a coworker isn’t GDPR compliant really. But I would definitely be going to HR about the comment.

Original poster
cherryyy · 20/12/2022 16:15

I had given consent to my manager for the colleague to bring the boys I needed over to my house, so that isn't so much of a concern for me.

I don't know why he would make such a connection. The house isn't big, it's a 3 bedroom end terrace house with a small driveway. I don't own anything particularly flashy / nice Blush

OP posts:
EmmaAgain22 · 20/12/2022 16:30

cherryyy · 20/12/2022 16:15

I had given consent to my manager for the colleague to bring the boys I needed over to my house, so that isn't so much of a concern for me.

I don't know why he would make such a connection. The house isn't big, it's a 3 bedroom end terrace house with a small driveway. I don't own anything particularly flashy / nice Blush

As long as you got the boys you needed....fab typo! 😂

EmmaAgain22 · 20/12/2022 16:30

Choconut · 20/12/2022 15:59

'It's just some people aren't keen on.....you know'

That's the bit that does it for me, that shows that this definitely isn't just curiosity but nastiness.

Agree.

JoyBeorge · 20/12/2022 16:35

When you said you were PUBLICLY asked if you were a Gypsy I thought you meant in public, like in front of dozens of people, not in a closed office in front of about 2 other people..

Tiggal · 20/12/2022 16:38

This man’s attitude, and actually some of the comments on this thread, are the reason that many people in our community feel we have to hide our identities.

PlanningTowns · 20/12/2022 16:38

RatherBeRiding · 20/12/2022 13:44

Maybe ask him if he needs to update his Equality and Diversity training and that this might be something HR could signpost him to.

This. Absolutely this. And talk to HR.

i struggle with the hypocrisy of ‘non-racists’ to be so openly racist against this community.

Original poster
cherryyy · 20/12/2022 16:39

JoyBeorge · 20/12/2022 16:35

When you said you were PUBLICLY asked if you were a Gypsy I thought you meant in public, like in front of dozens of people, not in a closed office in front of about 2 other people..

Please see one of my posts down thread, quote:*

We work in a large office with over 30 people in the team, so it was seen and heard by LOTS of other people.*

I'd say this is pretty public.

OP posts:
Tiggal · 20/12/2022 16:39

JoyBeorge · 20/12/2022 16:35

When you said you were PUBLICLY asked if you were a Gypsy I thought you meant in public, like in front of dozens of people, not in a closed office in front of about 2 other people..

Tell me you haven’t read the thread without telling me you haven’t read the thread.

Original poster
cherryyy · 20/12/2022 16:39

@EmmaAgain22 oh god BlushBlush the bits I needed!

😂🫠

OP posts:
EmmaAgain22 · 20/12/2022 16:42

cherryyy · 20/12/2022 16:39

@EmmaAgain22 oh god BlushBlush the bits I needed!

😂🫠

Boys...bits....potayto, potahto... 😂

Itschristmastimeinthecity · 20/12/2022 16:50

Tiggal · 20/12/2022 16:39

Tell me you haven’t read the thread without telling me you haven’t read the thread.

Show quote history

Exactly, Just read 🙄
And @JoyBeorge by the way, it doesn't matter if it was in front of just 1 person!

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