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AIBU?

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Original poster

Am I in the wrong or him

54 replies

snowisfallingallaround · 20/12/2022 00:22

I’ve been sleeping with somebody for around 6 months now. We do get on and he stays over for a few hours after but it’s been nothing more.

He usually gives me short notice when he wants to see me and almost expects it now that I will come and see him but it’s always for sex.

He lives very near by and sometimes he just says ‘I’ll pop up now, shall I’ or ‘as you know I can be there in ten minutes’. Sometimes if we are messaging, he will just walk straight up round to the back of my house and tell me he’s outside if I want him to come in but he can be very pushy sometimes and even though he gives me short notice he expects me to just want to see him. However, if I ever ask him it’s always a no or a maybe or a possibly.

He wanted to see me tonight but I didn’t reply as I was busy doing something but he wanted to nip up and he got really annoyed with me and said ‘frig it then, enjoy your Christmas anyway, see ya’

OP posts:
Poppyblush · 20/12/2022 06:40

Get rid of him… you’re his final resort… last point of call. Find someone to treat you with dignity.

EVHead · 20/12/2022 06:46

if I ever ask him it’s always a no or a maybe or a possibly

These are the things you should be saying, not always letting him come over when he’s horny.

His uncertainty probably means he’s weighing up his options at the time.

Dump him!

W0tnow · 20/12/2022 07:00

snowisfallingallaround · 20/12/2022 00:29

Also, I just feel as though I’m the person he calls if he has nobody else to go to at the time or he thinks I’m just the easy option as he only has to walk up the road

Its both. Just reply with a 👍 and never contact him again.

IhearyouClemFandango · 20/12/2022 07:02

snowisfallingallaround · 20/12/2022 00:29

Also, I just feel as though I’m the person he calls if he has nobody else to go to at the time or he thinks I’m just the easy option as he only has to walk up the road

Well yes, this does sound to be the case. I wouldn’t want this, do you?

EmmaDilemma5 · 20/12/2022 07:03

It sounds like you're an unpaid sex worker. He literally is just using you for sex. I couldn't be used like that, it can't make you feel good?

RegularNameChangerVersion21 · 20/12/2022 07:18

Nothing wrong with a FWB arrangement if it suits you both but you still deserve to be treated with respect. I wouldn't be happy with him being pushy or expecting me to drop everything when he deigns to see me.

I'd toss that one back and wait for someone a little more respectful whether it's a casual relationship or more deep.

Paq · 20/12/2022 07:21

It's like a friends with benefits situation but without the friends bit. Grim unless you are happy to be used / use each other for meaningless sex.

Pictograph · 20/12/2022 07:26

Yes, he sees you as the easy option whenever he fancies a shag. It's up to you of course, but I wouldn't be putting up with this. Maybe your new year resolution should be to ditch him!

Beautiful3 · 20/12/2022 07:31

I'm sorry but he is using you for sex, every single time. You should be hanging out, doing other stuff. Not booty calls. You're worth more than this, you will find someone better.

N27 · 20/12/2022 07:42

Definitely get rid.

I’ve had fwb’s in the past and the friend part has always been just as important, we’d check in on each other, chat about stuff you don’t want to tell friends and family, even help with diy sometimes!

but it always works both ways and should be a mutually beneficial arrangement

he wants it all on his terms and wants to throw a childish strop when you dare to have a life that doesn’t involve just waiting for his text? Forget that, even if you’re happy with a fwb situation you definitely deserve more than that x

dudsville · 20/12/2022 07:46

This is baffling. You seem to see his behaviour and interpret it correctly but then become confused. What happens at that point for you?

Original poster
snowisfallingallaround · 20/12/2022 18:07

Hi thank you everyone for your replies

does this sound like he is guilt tripping me? He’s messaged to say that every time he has seen me he has rearranged other things and put me first. But I can’t see how he could have as he only ever wants to see me in the night 9pm/10pm etc.

OP posts:
PaterPower · 20/12/2022 18:14

Even a FWB / FB should show more respect than this guy. He sounds like a right charmer.

Presumably he but a bit more effort in the first time you saw him?!

PaterPower · 20/12/2022 18:15

Yeah, he’s manipulating you (or trying to)

Bin him off, there are plenty of men who’d jump for casual sex but who’ll be a lot more ‘polite’ about it.

gothmothtime · 20/12/2022 18:19

Tell him to fuck off, then block him.

KarmaStar · 20/12/2022 18:26

You know he is treating you extremely badly and you are allowing him to do so.
Believe you are worth more and ditch him.

Humptydumpty666 · 20/12/2022 18:28

He doesn't respect you sounds like a typical misogynist why bother

Sadless · 20/12/2022 18:33

He's using you for sex get rid.

Sal

loobylou10 · 20/12/2022 18:38

He's panicking now because his 'sex on tap' might disappear. Tell him to fuck off, find someone who values you for you and gives you what you want.

Blanca87 · 20/12/2022 18:41

Stop engaging with him , he sounds like a self serving twat.

Blanca87 · 20/12/2022 18:43

He is also a lying twat. Re-arranging my arse, he is slotting you in, quite literally.

Bosk · 20/12/2022 18:49

You know what they say: some do it for money, some just do it to oblige.

Either bin him off or start charging.

Travis1 · 20/12/2022 19:12

That’s utter bull shit. He is using you. What you have to ask yourself is if you are happy to be used this way knowing it’s all on his terms? If the answer is yes crack on and accept it is what it is. If the answer is no tell him to fuck off and block him

ChiefWiggumsBoy · 20/12/2022 23:08

He’s messaged to say that every time he has seen me he has rearranged other things and put me first

...so what? He's in charge of his own life? If he wants to blow off a mate to see you then great. Not sure that I believe him though, you're a booty call and nothing more from what I can see.

CockSpadget · 20/12/2022 23:11

Didn’t you post this a couple of weeks ago?

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