to hug my boss

[CanStopWillStop]

So I'm meeting my work colleagues next month for the first time after working together for 2 years remotely. In my previous in-person jobs I have, and would, hug my colleagues at appropriate times (i.e. social settings) but would it be unreasonable to hug my boss, who is younger than me and male, when we meet? I would obviously judge in the moment if it's an appropriate time to do so, but I'm curious if anyone would just outright never do it.

Additional context: they are Americans.

No hugging, ever in a professional capacity.

You may be a hugger, but the thing is, I may not be, and whilst if I don't know you and we're standing in a pub I can tell you to fuck off, and if you're an actual friend I can say no thanks, at work I have to smile and take the hug from you, my weird colleague who clearly thinks we are closer than we are, given that I only sit near you because I'm paid to, and your vile perfume gives me a headache.

The problem is, you may give a lovely friendly mumsy hug, but if you set the bar for the team that we hug, that gives Peter, the office pervert who is also on the team, an in to hug everyone, and his hugs involve a full body press and rub if he thinks no one is looking and you're under 25.

So please no hugging at work, only with friends.

Well as you can see most people would agree with me that men don’t generally hug other men or indeed their boss on a first meeting. I am a woman and I most definitely have never hugged a boss on first meeting either.

I wouldn't. Hugging isn't professional imo.

Absolutely not. Definitely not. Not professional in the least. You shake hands and introduce yourself at best but DO NOT hug colleagues especially ones you do not know.

I'd give a warm handshake and maybe a hand on the shoulder, depending on how the person receives me

You didn’t say generally, you said and I quote “I do not believe two men will hug in their first professional meeting, they will shake hands”

You didn’t say it’s uncommon, you said you didn’t believe it happened at all.

That was the silly statement.

Leave the poor blighter alone!

It's not silly if that's what she believes.

I agree with her. I've never seen men hugging at first sight in the workplace and I've been working for nearly 25 years.

No, it's very unprofessional.
He may not like it either, I can't stand huggers!

I wouldn't even think of it!

I would be horrified is someone hugged me in a work situation. So it’s a hard no from me.

He’s your boss so take the lead from him.

If you are happy to be hugged and he goes there - grand. If you aren’t feeling it, if he’s looking like he’s about to do an embrace - stick out your hand for a shake.

God no l wouldn't hug someone l had never met - especially a boss!

But l was one of those that was glad l couldn't hug during covid. Haye hugging!

It might happen, but I think it would be incredibly unusual. I mean someone taking their shoes off in an interview might happen too… but like hugging a boss on meeting them, it would be seen as odd and socially abnormal behaviour. It isn’t professional.

Thinking of it sensibly, think of TV shows, books, movies, where we are a character meet a new boss. Are they ever introduced by having them go in for a hug or a cuddle together? No. Because it’s not the socially accepted form of greeting when meeting your boss.

Where we see a character, even. If it was the social norm, we’d see it being portrayed often - but we don’t. Because it’s simply not normalised behaviour. Even if you googled ‘tips for interview’ or ‘tips for meeting new boss’ you’d get lots of information on clear speaking, polite answers, conversation starters, firm handshake… I doubt you’d see anything about making sure you hug them.

I'd just see how it goes. Some PP focus on the fact it's your first meeting but you worked together for 2 years. I met my boss recently after 6 months since he started and he hugged me for hello. It didn't feel inappropriate at all. People in my company, who know one another well, do hug.

@Kanaloa in context of course, and I don't automatically go for the hug first,but I openly welcome a hug.

You've worked together for 2 years so I'm sure you'll have some idea of whether it's appropriate already, and you can judge it in the moment. In this scenario, yes I probably would go in for a hug!

No hugs.

I've seen people go in for a hug and the other person reached for their elbows bracing them and stepped back resist the hug.

The phrase "keeping them at arms length" came to mind seeing it.

I've also been to cities and suburbs where the horrible air kissing is a thing.
A woman surprise air kissed on me and I felt violated.

Add in working with people from many difference cultures, it's considered very offensive by some.

I despite workplace huggers. There are very few people I’m comfortable hugging and work colleagues certainly aren’t on that list. I find it intrusive and unwelcome.

Recently I met a colleague who I hadn’t seen since pre-covid. He initially proffered his hand for a handshake but almost immediately withdrew it and said “as it’s been so long, I’m going to give you a hug and a kiss”, in a tone which suggested I should be delighted at this. I know I visibly recoiled when he said that! Quite aside from me not being a hugger in general, he is a smoker and smells strongly of stale nicotine, and dangling from one ear was a cloth facemask which was dirty 🤢

^despise, not despite