Page 3 | holidays with DC without the other parent

mantlepiece23 · 2022-12-18T10:05:54+00:00

COL and all that, been looking at holidays for next year. Havent booked anything yet but really need to. Am considering that from now on we try and take the kids away on our own without the other parent to cut costs. DH thinks it would be ridiculous but I dont see why. The kids will still get to go away and they are at an age when it's not so hard taking care of them on our own. Do other families go away without both parents to cut costs?

RegularNameChangerVersion21 · 19/12/2022 13:42

Part of the point of holidays is to spend time altogether as a family away from daily life. I'd much rather cut costs by camping than DH not being there. If I was working and couldn't go away I wouldn't object to DH going away with the kids as I wouldn't want them to miss out if I couldn't go anyway but I wouldn't stay home just to cut costs, If we couldn't all afford to go I'd stay home and spend time together there.

HavfrueDenizKisi · 19/12/2022 13:57

I must be pretty dumb as I cannot see how two holidays would be cheaper than one.

I also think it's nuts to not choose to holiday together as a family as you don't get loads of holiday time anyway. I'd be most bemused if my DH offered this option. I do understand doing a family holiday then another break with kids if one adult cannot join for some reason.

Original poster

mantlepiece23 · 19/12/2022 14:02

To be fair to DH, he does as much parenting as I do. It's just that we're good at different things. But it is true that most of the time unless we are at home - it's one of us that is looking after the boys with the other person is either doing chores (DH) or working (me). I work in a profession where I can always do a bit more work so it's not like I would be doing nothing while DH is away. But I accept that our set up might be unconventional

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Natsku · 19/12/2022 14:05

Growing up we sometimes went on holiday all together and sometimes we went just some of us with one parent, felt fine to me.

I took the children on holiday without OH this summer, not to save money exactly but because I wanted to take them away for a really long holiday and OH couldn't take 6 weeks off work during the busiest time of year for his work (so in the end it was saving money, as otherwise he'd have lost a big chunk of income)

Original poster

mantlepiece23 · 19/12/2022 14:05

In terms of why it would be cheaper - when DT and I go away we usually just get a room/studio - which is fairly cheap. DH though insists on a two bed plus living room apartment when its all four of us. I dont know how other families travel when its all of them and how big a space hey hire. To those who say we can just get a caravan - DH would never in the million years agree to that.

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Bunnycat101 · 19/12/2022 14:12

I think the cost saving reasoning isn’t quite right but plenty of people do split holidays because of annual leave restrictions. With my youngest starting school we’ve had to save annual leave for all the random
half days etc so don’t have enough to do 2 weeks together so the kids and my husband will have 2 weeks holiday together. I’ll join them for a week and then do a week at home with the school faffing. I’d have rather not done it that way tbh but needs must. It might be quite nice for your dh to take them away at Easter if you have to work but it is unlikely to be cost saving.

OnceAgainWithFeeling · 19/12/2022 14:14

I get you OP.

DH came to Disneyland Paris twice and hated it. DD and I still wanted to go so we went without him but with a friend and her daughter. This halved the transport costs (we drive) and accommodation (Davy Crockett) leaving more money for character meals etc. Worked so well we did it about 5 times.

Have had other family holidays as well and DD has been away with DH (within U.K). DD has only benefitted.

Nevermind31 · 19/12/2022 14:34

So you are planning one holiday for you and the kids, one for OH and the kids and one all together?
I can’t work out why this is a cost cutting exercise (either you can afford three holidays or you don’t, no shame if you don’t and kids don’t need three holidays).
i do take my kids without OH, but that is because we go to see family, a lot of it, and OH doesn’t want to waste annual leave. This doesn’t impact our family holidays though.

CoalCraft · 19/12/2022 14:39

Hmm, I think it would be a bit sad. The only person who did this was my uncle who would take his two kids on holiday, but they were older (14+) and they were hiking holidays which my aunt wasn't interested in. They also had holidays altogether.

thelobsterquadrille · 19/12/2022 14:43

mantlepiece23 · 19/12/2022 14:02

To be fair to DH, he does as much parenting as I do. It's just that we're good at different things. But it is true that most of the time unless we are at home - it's one of us that is looking after the boys with the other person is either doing chores (DH) or working (me). I work in a profession where I can always do a bit more work so it's not like I would be doing nothing while DH is away. But I accept that our set up might be unconventional

I think it's quite common to tag-team and have one parent occupy the kids so the other can focus entirely on cooking/work/housework.

MinnieMountain · 19/12/2022 15:20

DH takes DS skiing without me because I don’t ski. It also means they just need a studio.

TyphoonSpagoon · 19/12/2022 15:39

This sounds awful, and definitely unreasonable

Original poster

mantlepiece23 · 19/12/2022 16:03

Would it have been better if I said that we'd be doing it due to different annual leaves? We have quite a fixed rota - and get three weeks of annual leave together - a week over Xmas (when we see grandparents), a week over Easter (grandparents) and a week in the summer when we'd go away. So if is that unreasonable that our kids get to go away for longer than one week a year because of our annual leaves?

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Original poster

mantlepiece23 · 19/12/2022 16:10

Our grandparents all live in one city so although we cant go away for those weeks and do see them, it's not like the kids get to go away different. I have lots of friends who for example travel on their own to see grandparents but that doesnt work for us

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MusicstillonMTV · 19/12/2022 16:20

How much time do you spend together? It almost sounds like you're avoiding each other with the amount of time you spend tag teaming with the kids.

thelobsterquadrille · 19/12/2022 16:38

mantlepiece23 · 19/12/2022 16:03

Would it have been better if I said that we'd be doing it due to different annual leaves? We have quite a fixed rota - and get three weeks of annual leave together - a week over Xmas (when we see grandparents), a week over Easter (grandparents) and a week in the summer when we'd go away. So if is that unreasonable that our kids get to go away for longer than one week a year because of our annual leaves?

But that's just logistics and again, very normal. Lots of people tag-team holidays to save on childcare costs.

Look, if you're happy with your set-up, go for it, but lots of people wouldn't be happy with their husband opting out of such a large part of being a parent.

mouche202 · 19/12/2022 17:50

We do this all the time. Or at least I do. DH works in a profession where he rarely gets evenings or weekends off and school holidays can be tough too. We do a family week/ ten days once a year - usually a driving holiday as DH loves to drive and I don't. Then I take DS away on my own at least twice a year - usually UK breaks focussed around theatre or literature festivals, which DH couldn't be less interested in! And then DH might take DS away once for an activity break that I wouldn't enjoy. One of us gets downtime, neither of us has to do activities we don't enjoy, and DS gets the best of both worlds. Don't think it's any cheaper though!