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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would this put you off completely?

34 replies

Merrychristmaseveryonee · 18/12/2022 00:59

Hi everyone

Just wondering if this would put you off if you were in this situation.

I have been messaging a guy for a little while. We went to the same school, he’s two years older. Both in mid twenties and I haven’t seen him since school.

He was asking to take me on a date but we haven’t arranged anything yet.

However, tonight he has been at a friends house which is not too far from mine and he’s been messaging loads telling me he wants to come over to my house now, saying ‘nothing has to happen, I just want to see you’ and he keeps leaving voice messages slurring his words. Would this put you off the first date?

OP posts:
horsemadgal · 18/12/2022 01:00

I'd block him 😔

Rustyhandlebars · 18/12/2022 01:02

He's drunk.
Ignore him and see if he apologizes in the morning.

WineIsMyMainVice · 18/12/2022 01:03

Yes it would put me off! You need a proper date not just an unplanned meet up like this as he’s obviously been drinking!

HerReputationMadeItDifficultToProceed · 18/12/2022 01:04

See if he's mortified tomorrow. If he is, have the date. If he isn't then block.

Glitterandcard · 18/12/2022 01:05

I’d be forgetting any plans for a date and probably blocking his number.

DuplicateUserName · 18/12/2022 01:05

He wants sex.

The fact he's even said 'nothing has to happen' means he's thinking about it.

Don't block him if you like him but just be firm, tell him no and say goodnight.

ClarathecrosseyedLioness · 18/12/2022 01:06

You don't need a drunk in your life.

Block, delete, next !

Christmascracker0 · 18/12/2022 01:06

It’s v annoying but it’s not a blockable offence. He’ll be embarrassed in the morning!

moofolk · 18/12/2022 01:09

HerReputationMadeItDifficultToProceed · 18/12/2022 01:04

See if he's mortified tomorrow. If he is, have the date. If he isn't then block.

This is sound advice

LydiaBennetsUglyBonnet · 18/12/2022 01:23

It wouldn’t put me off, booze has clearly made him shirk his inhibitions a little. But I wouldn’t be having him over when pissed.

pinkpotatoez · 18/12/2022 01:41

He clearly really likes you as he's thinking about you with his mates when drunk so that's a plus I guess BUT I'd only see him if apologises in the morning.

dolor · 18/12/2022 01:55

Block block blockity block.

Christmasnero · 18/12/2022 01:56

He’s thinking about you which is nice

but he assumes he can get an easy shag without even a first date, which is less good
id probably feel a bit disrespected

Aquamarine1029 · 18/12/2022 02:17

I'd be blocking him. An absolute turn-off.

Keep your standards high.

SLS500 · 18/12/2022 02:27

Unless he's given you the ick I wouldn't block him. Wait until he's sober and see if he apologises. He clearly likes you.

Iflyaway · 18/12/2022 02:56

You haven't seen him since school and he wants to come over to your house?!!

Next!

CatchYouOnTheFlippetyFlop · 18/12/2022 03:00

HerReputationMadeItDifficultToProceed · 18/12/2022 01:04

See if he's mortified tomorrow. If he is, have the date. If he isn't then block.

I agree with this

OldFan · 18/12/2022 03:04

I agree with PP's saying see if he really grovels tomorrow.

Babychampers · 18/12/2022 03:04

I wouldn't block I think it's an "in vino veritas" situation where he's uninhibited now because he's pissed. He's probably be mortified tomorrow! I would just turn off notifications and meet up when he's sober. If his messages get aggressive or nasty because you're not responding to them, then that's an obvious red flag; some people get nasty when they're drunk!

raspberrytinsel · 18/12/2022 03:10

yeah, that would be a put off. He hasn't put any work in, bit entitled.

harrassedmumto3 · 18/12/2022 03:25

ClarathecrosseyedLioness · 18/12/2022 01:06

You don't need a drunk in your life.

Block, delete, next !

FFS, only on Mumsnet!

For all we know, he hardly drinks and yet has decided to let his hair down for the work Christmas do!

IneedcoffeeinanIV · 18/12/2022 04:36

I think he clearly likes you as he's thinking of you when he's out (albeit drunk) I would wait to see how he reacts to it tomorrow and go with your gut feeling

ClarathecrosseyedLioness · 18/12/2022 05:44

@harrassedmumto3 For all we know, he hardly drinks and yet has decided to let his hair down for the work Christmas do!

Who gives 2 flying b@ll@cks why he's drinking?

Mid twenties is too old for this sort of teenage behaviour and not only that, it's harassment.

Raise the bar OP.

Ivyonafence · 18/12/2022 07:31

If he's deeply embarrassed tomorrow I'd still go on a date.

If he acts like this is no big deal, then you have some valuable information about him - he thinks getting drunk and behaving like a dick is just business as usual. Don't waste time.

HotDogJumpingFrogHaveACookie · 18/12/2022 07:34

Depends on his reaction when you said no.