To think you can't party and eat?

[haveyaselfamerryxmas]

I'm a 30 year old woman and alcohol plays a larger part in my life than I would like. However, I was out with my friends for our Christmas night out on Thursday. It was a party night and so we had paid upfront for a three course meal.

To be completely honest, usually I'd go to these things and alcohol would be my main part of the night and I would push my food about on my plate rather than eat it. This tended to end up in me getting black out drunk and feeling so worried and shameful the next day.

So I thought to myself on Thursday, okay I'm going to eat the meal and see how I go. So I had two glasses of wine pre dinner/with dinner and then wolfed down three portions no problem - I was starving - hadn't eaten at all that day.

I then just got very sleepy after the meal, I really wanted to just go home to my bed but the girls were really disappointed when I suggested this. They kept saying pull yourself together. So I went on and had another glass of wine then a shot of sambuca and 3 pink gins and lemonade.

None of this touched the sides and I felt stone cold sober and completely shattered. I ended up getting a taxi home at 11 pm. 1.5 hours before the night ended.

My friends seemed really disappointed and acted as if I was a bore. Bare in mind these are the same friends that have complained in the past when I don't eat and get black out drunk and behave ridiculously.

I'm also getting to the stage where I'm feeling like if I've had one night out I've had one hundred nights out. I feel like my feelings towards drinking is changing.

But am I the only one t experience this? No food + alcohol = drunk however more fun. Or food + alcohol = can't get drunk, tired and boring?

How do you balance it so I can enjoy a night out and a meal without the need to get drunk?

I’d be concerned you’ve built up a seemingly worrying level of immunity to drinking heavily.

I’d also raise the issue around being boring if not drunk

So much to unpick

The problem here is that you see being drunk as a requirement for having fun. Don’t you ever have fun while sober?

I broadly agree with you. I love a glass of wine before food. As soon as I’ve eaten I want herbal tea and the sofa. If I want to keep light on my feet for a party, I find it best to skip real food and rely on canapés and/or toast before I headed out.

Or food + alcohol = can't get drunk, tired and boring?

The problem here is the fact you can't have fun without alcohol.

It's not that I'm boring. I meet my friends and go shopping or out for lunch or for a walk and coffee and I never feel or behave 'boring'. But I literally was so exhausted on Thursday night after eating that I knew I was being boring as all I wanted to do was go home.

It's just a sign of getting older.

Can't all be 22 forever!

Just have something light to eat before you go out drinking, a single main course instead of a three course meal.

Yes, I do have (probably more) fun when I'm sober. For instance, I go full days out where I know I can't drink and have a ton of fun, it just seemed on Thursday the drinking and eating floored me and I couldn't function. So it's almost like if I'm eating am I best to not drink at all? Or if I'm drinking am I best to not eat at all? I am in awe of these people that can go out and have a three course meal then party to the early hours. I can't.

Don’t have a 3 course meal? Surely that’s the answer! One course would have been sufficient.

couldn’t agree more with the other posters though - I can still go out dancing until 3am with friends and not touch a drop of alcohol, my friends know I’m not a big drinker and would never moan at me or complain if I ever did want to leave early though

Totally agree. I'm more drinks, then maybe bar snacks later if I'm feeling peckish. Definitely not a sit down 3 course dinner, to me that's a different kind of night out

Having a three course meal before a night out is a bit much, really. I'd have one course and maybe share a starter/dessert, or I'd be too full to move!

Too much food too fast plus the alcohol.

Right, and then you went home. Right choice.

If the party is good enough, you won't be tired & feel boring. Applying alcohol as a means to get through it is just a cover up for non-stimulating company.

Sorry guys but I can have fun without alcohol, I do it often. However, Thursday night, I know I was a complete bore and the only think i can think caused this was alcohol and food together. If I had food and no alcohol - no problem. Alcohol and no food - no problem (except the black outs and hangovers). It was the combination mixed.

Or it was a slightly dull night out that you didn't try to make sparkle by drinking to excess. The problem may not be you.

I'm exactly the same OP, if I'm going out drinking I'll have a meal around 4:30/5, if I eat a big meal and then drink I feel tired and sick. I prefer drinking before dinner usually.

It's a fine balance! I feel this way at weddings too!

Well a 3 course meal is a lot to eat, I don’t think you can’t drink and party.

Everything about your post - the black out drinking, not eating all day, feeling shame at what you might have done.. this all indicates that you really aren’t taking care of yourself?

If you don’t want to treat yourself badly, what’s the first step to changing this?

I don't eat and I can feel a big effect after 2 generous glasses of wine. I eat 3 courses and I can feel it after 3. Gone are the days when I caould drink sambuca and gin and survive the night.

@gwenneh you might be right. Can't say this thought never crossed my mind actually

I need to stop drinking. You're right, it's very difficult though for me personally

This all sounds like a serious issue with alcohol.

Moderation of food and booze is the answer. Don't eat a heavy meal when you know food makes you sleepy, don't drink pints or great glasses of wine if you know you'll struggle with the volume. Have lighter food and drink shorts / smaller glasses of wine. Decline the pudding.

My mate used to abide by "eating's cheating" well into her 40s and she ruined SO MANY nights out by being shit faced at 9pm when we only met up at 7. We never made it to 11pm with her there, it was crap and I dreaded having to be responsible for her every weekend.

Love you didn't eat all day, pre drank and then ate a three course meal and you wonder why you were tired?

Far better to eat normally throughout the day so your not over hungry in the evening and drink in moderation.

I'd feel tired, sluggish and want to go home after 3 courses too. Maybe it was the food alone rather than anything to do with alcohol? I'm not saying I never have 3 courses but I don't know how much partying I'd be doing after.