Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

To think you can't party and eat?

57 replies

haveyaselfamerryxmas · 17/12/2022 19:54

I'm a 30 year old woman and alcohol plays a larger part in my life than I would like. However, I was out with my friends for our Christmas night out on Thursday. It was a party night and so we had paid upfront for a three course meal.

To be completely honest, usually I'd go to these things and alcohol would be my main part of the night and I would push my food about on my plate rather than eat it. This tended to end up in me getting black out drunk and feeling so worried and shameful the next day.

So I thought to myself on Thursday, okay I'm going to eat the meal and see how I go. So I had two glasses of wine pre dinner/with dinner and then wolfed down three portions no problem - I was starving - hadn't eaten at all that day.

I then just got very sleepy after the meal, I really wanted to just go home to my bed but the girls were really disappointed when I suggested this. They kept saying pull yourself together. So I went on and had another glass of wine then a shot of sambuca and 3 pink gins and lemonade.

None of this touched the sides and I felt stone cold sober and completely shattered. I ended up getting a taxi home at 11 pm. 1.5 hours before the night ended.

My friends seemed really disappointed and acted as if I was a bore. Bare in mind these are the same friends that have complained in the past when I don't eat and get black out drunk and behave ridiculously.

I'm also getting to the stage where I'm feeling like if I've had one night out I've had one hundred nights out. I feel like my feelings towards drinking is changing.

But am I the only one t experience this? No food + alcohol = drunk however more fun. Or food + alcohol = can't get drunk, tired and boring?

How do you balance it so I can enjoy a night out and a meal without the need to get drunk?

OP posts:

Fairislefandango · 17/12/2022 20:11

YABU. It's perfectly possible to go out, eat, drink and have fun

DrinkFeckArseBrick · 17/12/2022 20:12

I think it might have been the quantity iof food? 3 courses and fizzy drinks most people would want to be lounging around on the sofa

I find a light meal like a sandwich pre drinks to line my stomach and then something similar after drinking before bed to help with the hangover is a good combination

belimoo · 17/12/2022 20:12

Eating a heavy meal is bound to make you feel tired and lethargic. I'm the same as you though op. I've had both experiences at work Christmas parties but occasionally find the sweet spot. It isn't easy when it's a set Christmas menu. I don't think it means a significant alcohol problem if it isn't a regular thing.

ClangingBell · 17/12/2022 20:13

It sounds like you’re not very in tune with what your body wants or what you actually enjoy. Are you normally drinking to get through a party you don’t enjoy? Had you had enough sleep the night before? Do you know which foods tend to make you sleepy? And after drinking that amount you definitely weren’t sober, even with food, so you don’t seem in tune with anything between sober and blackout drunk. I wonder if you could start by doing something that gets you more in tune with what’s happening in your body, like meditation or yoga or even mindfulness.

pandarific · 17/12/2022 20:13

I don’t think you’re incorrect in your observation - most drinking in places where three course meals are the thing is very relaxed, think lots of wine over a three course meal, lingering at the table chatting etc. The kind of drinking you’re describing is more of a club/bar style thing, where you’d have had a normal dinner in theory and then gone out and no, the two don’t go together really imo.

weddings/dinner dances always make me sluggish and tired tbh. Probably blood sugar through the roof because of all the booze and carbs?

underneaththeash · 17/12/2022 20:15

You just ate too much = after eat tired.

have starter + main or starter + pud. I can’t eat three courses any more sober.

AlcoholFear · 17/12/2022 20:25

To be honest, you sound like you have an issue with alcohol. I say that as someone who also had an issue with alcohol.
I drank a lot in fields from 12. By the time I went to uni I could sink a bottle of vodka, I never drank wine. Rarely got very drunk despite the volume I drank. I think I was sick twice.

I failed 3 liver tests and did some damage to myself. Thankfully, it’s all within normal range now. I stopped drinking at 19 and actually realised I was autistic and I was drinking due to social pressure and thinking I was no fun without.

I didn’t actually enjoy nights out. No longer go to parties and haven’t drank alcohol for 5 years. I also no longer Pepsi max as I developed an addiction to that and now only drink water

You need to stop or you will seriously hurt yourself

GenerallyGreenerGrass · 17/12/2022 20:29

You actually seem to be saying that eating caused you to have a rubbish night and caused your friends to think you boring.
But that if you went out and didn’t eat you would get totally pissed to the point of having a blackout, I hope you realise having blackouts is a really bad sign.
I would hazard that you think you have an alcohol problem and need to stop.
You say as much up thread.
Then say this would be a massive problem for you, can you tell us why?

Regularsizedrudy · 17/12/2022 20:31

just eat and drink a normal amount? Why is doing one or the other to excess the only options?

Eyerollcentral · 17/12/2022 20:32

Maybe you do drink too much but seems to me your main problem here is eating nothing all day then having three courses. You need to eat something during the day. I am a massive glutton and I would fade after three courses. Everyone on mumsnet has a drink problem - except those who never have more than one glass of wine a fortnight or don’t drink at all. Getting blackout drunk is not good as a rule but also alone does not mean you need to forsake drink forever. Sounds like you are ready for socialising in a different way. That’s fine. The moralising about drink on these threads is absolutely off the scale

SomethingOriginal2 · 17/12/2022 20:36

I don't feel tired after a big meal, but after 7 drinks I'd be catatonic. I think you've built up a big tolerance to alcohol and a need to be drunk to "party"

Pieceofpurplesky · 17/12/2022 20:47

Why did you not eat before? All day? It looks like you were hoping that no food all day meant you would be plastered anyway.
You really need to have a good look at why you drink to blackout.

pinkpotatoez · 17/12/2022 20:58

I'm the same as you OP, if I'm going out for a meal and drinks I would usually only have main course that way my stomach is lined but I'm not full and uncomfortable/tired for the rest of the evening

Upwiththelark76 · 17/12/2022 21:03

Three course meal on a night on equals exactly what you said . Food coma and taxi home !

supersop60 · 17/12/2022 21:04

This ^^
Everything in moderation.

LemonDrizzle69 · 17/12/2022 21:05

I know exactly what you mean OP and I’m the same. Similar age to you too.
A night involving a 3 course meal and a night drinking and dancing are two different types of nights out to me. I can’t do both. If I’m full, I feel sluggish and lethargic. A night out drinking and dancing, I’d have something light late afternoon and then I’d be ready to drink.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 17/12/2022 21:06

I tend to eat the meal and not be overly drunk, but then drink something like rum and coke which wakes me up so that I enjoy the night.

Octopus45 · 17/12/2022 21:36

I would have been the same. However, I'm not very good at drinking and not eating and drinking makes me really hungry. TBH I could probably eat something light, drink and then be ready for a three course meal.

Igglepiggleslittletoe · 17/12/2022 21:53

I physically cannot eat three courses - im tiny and to be honest one is fine for me and half the time I leave some. We have a policy of no wine on an empty stomach, then once dinner comes we sip away and then a coffee after dinner to give enough pep to head off to the pub for a drink or two after. That said if we are not meeting others we just forgo the coffee and go home. Im early 50's and he is late 40s though.

TheSoapyFrog · 17/12/2022 22:00

In our friendship group it's one or the other. After a large 3 course meal and wine, all we want to do is go home, lie down and have a nap.
No way would we be able to drink and party a lot.
I'd say your mistake was not eating all day and then eating so much in one go. Should have eaten normally during the day and then maybe just have the main course.

SafariRushHour · 17/12/2022 22:01

er ….. try a more balanced approach? Eat breakfast and lunch during the day and opt for a main and a coffee during the evening. You won’t feel as tired. However you do seem to be having an unhealthy amount of alcohol, can you alternate with a glass of water?

catfunk · 17/12/2022 22:05

I have to eat very lightly and avoid carbs if I'm on a night out and want to stay out late, otherwise I'm done by 10pm

Fifiellz · 17/12/2022 22:07

You need to not drink before eating.

If I drink then eat then drink I want my bed by 10pm.

If you eat, drink water with meal and start drinking post eating you fare much better.

BertieBotts · 17/12/2022 22:18

Eat sensibly during the day and have a small/normal sized meal.

But IME it's also just getting older. I can't party and drink like I used to and I don't see the appeal any more. I'd rather go out for dinner and talk, or go to somebody's house and talk. Bars and clubs are too loud and annoying.

In your thirties you'll probably find people move away from this kind of night out anyway.

Whatevergetsyouthroughthenight · 17/12/2022 22:37

You have a drink problem. Blackouts! 7 drinks on a night out!

Three glasses of wine even if they were medium rather than large (no one serves small glasses anymore) is nearly three quarters of a bottle plus a shot and three gins.

I can’t believe most people are discussing being tired after a meal and missing the giant alcohol problem here.

www.drinkaware.co.uk/

Flip

1 2 3

Swipe left for the next trending thread