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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To feel a tiny bit miffed

42 replies

disappointeddecember · 16/12/2022 20:32

We were invited to my friends (of around 20 years) for a weekend. Spent 3 hours last night preparing a lovely dinner to take down to theirs (I'd offered as they were busy planning a party for tomorrow night and I thought they'd have enough to do). I then drove me and my partner 3 hours to their house. Has a good meal but as soon as it finished, they insisted that what they'd like to do is teach my partner a new board game (they're very into board games. I'm not. They know this). So rather than make conversation between the four of us, there's me in a separate room and them playing a board game. AIBU to feel this is a little rude? I can't decide. I really don't have any interest in board games and whilst happy for them to enjoy this, I'm left feeling they could at least have chatted a little so I was included rather than excluded. Yes, I've excluded myself in one way by not joining in but I can't force an interest in it. I just think an hour or so chat after the meal would have been nice. I feel a bit upset tbh and can't work out id I am being unreasonable or not

OP posts:

MolesOnPoles · 16/12/2022 20:33

Presumably you chatted during the meal, and no one stoped you joining in? Or even just staying in the room? It sounds slightly like you excluded yourself.

SpideyCraw · 16/12/2022 20:35

Is your partner into board games?

I don’t think it’s a massive deal but I think it a bit rude. If I had 2 guests I wouldn’t plan to spend the evening doing an activity I knew one of them didn’t enjoy.

HewasH20 · 16/12/2022 20:36

Why were you in a different room?

Dishwashersaurous · 16/12/2022 20:38

Why didn't you play, and then chat around the game? You were so rude to sit in another room

Fentylipgloss · 16/12/2022 20:38

Unless they put you in another room, that's bad. If you chose to sit in another room because you don't want to participate, that's on you. I've had this many years at family get togethers, they love games, I don't, but I join in otherwise it's pretty boring.

I think YABU.

Schlaar · 16/12/2022 20:41

You were very rude to sit in another room. You should have politely joined in with the game your hosts were playing even if you weren’t interested and hated every minute. You’re an adult so don’t say you couldn’t force yourself to join in.

girlmom21 · 16/12/2022 20:47

Just go and sit in the same room and spend some time with them. They'll be hosting and chatting all weekend. Let them do something they enjoy.

dooneyousmugelf · 16/12/2022 20:55

I'd say you were being rude, yes.

The meal you brought is neither here nor there.

Pocketfullofdogtreats · 16/12/2022 20:59

Maybe they want to grab the chance of a board game when they have people over? As it's not so much fun with just two. In your shoes I'd have stayed in the room with them and been sociable. In their shoes, I'd have found you rude. Sorry.

ReluctantLondoners · 16/12/2022 21:00

Since they knew you actively dislike board games to the point you can't bring yourself to play even when everyone else is, I do think they were rude.

I also find it unusual that you feel that strongly about board games btw, but if someone I knew HATED something I loved doing, I wouldn't plan to do that something on a night they'd come to visit. It seems inconsiderate at best, passive aggressive at worst to seek out the thing your friend cannot bear to do and then do it while they're there

FOJN · 16/12/2022 21:04

You self excluded and could have joined in the game. I understand you're not really interested in board games but it's just for one evening not a lifetime hobby and it would have been the sociable thing to do.

I do appreciate your thread title though. Slightly miffed seems more proportionate than the frequent furious/livid/raging.

zimmerreturn · 16/12/2022 21:09

What was the game you were excluded from? Strip poker?

PinkFrenchie · 16/12/2022 21:10

Was it your choice to sit in a separate room? If so, YABU. You could have sat with them and chatted whilst they played...

MsFizz · 16/12/2022 21:11

Sorry I think you are being rude. If I'd invited someone to stay and then was excited to share one of my interests with them and they went and sat in another room sulking it would be me that was a bit miffed. Surely you can chat etc as you play a board game?

Even if you don't like board games the polite thing to do is grin and bear it. It's not like they are asking you to walk over hot coals.

Peashoots · 16/12/2022 21:11

Why were you in a different room? I don’t think it’s rude, you could have sat and chatted while they played.

AGoodDayForSomebodyElseToDie · 16/12/2022 21:14

Maybe they wanted a bit more structure and to avoid an hour of chat, which might be extremely tedious to them. You're choosing to exclude yourself by sulking in another room, which is really childish. There's nothing stopping you chatting while they play. Or, better yet, joining in like an adult.

Whaleandsnail6 · 16/12/2022 21:24

I think you are being unreasonable. for the sake of one night, I think you should have tried to join in.

Letthekidsplay · 16/12/2022 21:27

Sorry but it seems pretty immature to not join in with the game. Even if you’re not a fan of them just joint in…

VladmirsPoutine · 16/12/2022 21:27

You were rude. Is this a new-fangled reverse because the way you've written it is a bit odd. Even if you didn't join in with the board game there was no need to pointedly sit in another room.

cansu · 16/12/2022 21:34

You were rude not to join in tbh. During the meal there would have been plenty of chat. Sloping off to another room was rude. You excluded yourself.

SirDavidAttenborough · 16/12/2022 21:37

There seems to be a theme at the moment of blatantly unreasonable posters who apparently seem oblivious to their failings.

Shinyandnew1 · 16/12/2022 21:39

You excluded yourself here.

Squiblet · 16/12/2022 21:40

Depends on the game, surely?

Cards against humanity - YABU
Gloomhaven - YANBU, I would have been checking out their streaming services too

Ginger1982 · 16/12/2022 22:07

Why didn't you go and sit in the room with them? Weird that you would sit in a separate room in someone else's house.

NoAlexa · 16/12/2022 22:09

why were you in another room?

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