DH ruining my day off (lighthearted)

[Falalalalaaa]

I know IABU but I just need to vent…

I had booked a day off work tomorrow, as I had some holiday to use up and really need a day to myself! Kids are at school and after school club so would have the full day.

I was planning on just pottering about at home ALONE with my podcasts on maybe sorting out some drawers etc.

DH has just told me, he has taken the day off too. He was all excited about it saying we can spend the day together. I’m trying not to show him how gutted I am. I love him to bits, but really needed this day to myself. I can’t possibly tell him as he honestly thought it would be a nice surprise for me.

I know I just need to get over it and enjoy having the day with him, but it’s just not what I was looking forward to.

You shouldn't have told him

This would annoy me too, I crave and need time just to be by myself.

At least he meant well!

Maybe compromise say you'd like the morning to yourself then join up around lunchtime?

YANBU. I have one day off alone in the house each week and use it to clean, sort and craft. Sometimes my DH announces he's working from home that day so we can have lunch and walk the dog together. I always pretend to be pleased but am secretly seething at him encroaching on my alone time.

Are you me?! This is exactly is tomorrow... grrrrrr!

I've found my people! I used to wfh while my DH worked in an office. Since covid we both wfh and it's been such a big adjustment. I am never home alone and it drives me bananas.

I feel your pain. I should have had 1 hour last night before weekly Big Family Tea.
They all arrived early... An hour early..

Next time! I don’t like lying to him though so maybe I will just pick a day when he has a big meeting on that he can’t miss 😬

All the responses so far are making me feel less of a selfish cow. Thank you all!

It’s so annoying isn’t it! I have decided to get him to check his work diary for Jan to see when he absolutely cannot do school drop off, and book that day off 😂

😂😂😂
I'm a husband and voted that you're NOT being unreasonable! My wife would, and actually did, tell me that she wanted the day to herself, and I'd just have to entertain myself some other way, read a book, go for a drive, whatever, she just needed a bit of her own quiet time. There's nothing wrong with that and if he's a sensible man, he'll understand. He might even find it funny!

I booked off Monday. It was the first day in over 6 months that I wasn’t sick, didn’t have exams to study for, and would have the house to myself. Then my daughter’s nursery on Sunday called saying they had a case of strep A. I ended up keeping daughter home just in case, but I’m still disappointed I didn’t get my alone day lol. Fingers crossed I still one next week instead.

Hahah I can totally imagine how gutted you are but bless him for being so excited to spend the day with you

Imagine a thread started by a woman about her husband taking secret days off work!

Oh @LoveBluey I feel your pain. This is exactly my situation! Drives me up the wall.

LTB!

I understand, OP.

I need my alone time too. And I would be pissed off if DH surprised me by gatecrashing my alone time.

Total bastard. I would be having words with him over this. Or taking a day secretly!

My DP once had the audacity to fall down the stairs and break his foot, on the first day of my maternity leave, thereby ruining my last chance at alone time for months. I cried and huffed and didn't forgive him for years.

I cried and huffed and didn't forgive him for years.

I genuinely can't tell if you are joking or not 😂

Why not just tell him?

DH knows I get little time and would be cross if he did this!! So he doesn’t.

I'm so with you on this one, I love being home alone, I need the space and the quiet without someone asking me to do something for them all the time aaaah! There no shame in it either, perfectly human and natural. Write this one off, have a lovely day with your DH even though its not what you'd planned.

DP used to be out working every weekend, many evenings and sometimes travelled overseas for gigs for weeks on end. I was an amazing girlfriend, I encouraged him, sometimes funded him and kept a lid on it when I was in a shitty job working in the pissing cold and rain as he was on a cruise ship in the Caribbean complaining that it was too hot, the Americans were too loud and he wanted to come home and watch the football in peace yes, I told him he was an ungrateful git and to go and look at the sky if he couldn't bring himself to use the pool

Then he stopped touring and was Just. There. All. The. Time. Even when he got a proper fulltime job, he was still in bed when I left and indoors when I got back.

And then lockdown hit. I worked throughout, he didn't. I practically ran back to work when the restrictions lifted slightly, just so I had the journey to work and the peace of a mostly deserted office with no more than a handful of staff around that I would have to seek out if I wanted some human interaction, but I barely saw or heard if I didn't want to. That part of the whole Covid thing was brilliant - no bugger on the buses, homeopathic doses of people if I needed it and so much time actually by myself after so long never, ever being alone that I got into work feeling relaxed and it stayed that way until they all came back a month later.

I changed job and hours so I would be guaranteed the equivalent of one day a week at home alone, either in one day or over the course of five days. And it's been worth it for my sanity, as with the amount of talking and people I deal with every day, I have to have some time just not having to be in the presence of another human being. And he gets evenings where I'm working late to himself, along with trips to see friends where I really CBA to socialise.

I think a lot of us just need that time to decompress. Doesn't mean that we actively dislike our spouses and partners, it's just necessary downtime from People.

Every year around this time I have a day off work, and I tell noone.

I leave the house as normal for work, but go for a long walk inste

I’m really enjoying this thread.

Bloody fat fingers posted too soon.

Anyway, instead of going to work I go for a long walk instead. Next stop is a cooked brekkie from a cafe, and then to a bookshop.

Book purchased, the afternoon is spent reading it in a pub where I'm unlikely to bump into anyone I know, then home in time for the end of work.

If DP asks why I'm lightly pickled, it's because we "had a few Christmas beers in the office"

It's my little Christmas present to myself, and it gets my little introverted brain through the festive period.

I actually emailed my exh (we were married at the time) that I thought we should agree to WFH on different days.

I mean it was one of those tiny realisations that I really hated him which led to me leaving him, but luckily it doesn't sound like you actually dislike your DH, so that's good!

I've just spent a couple days in and out of hospital due to injury. DH (the man incapable of deciding independently whether he wants toast or cereal for breakfast) took the decision to use a days AL "in case I needed help at home" I never mentioned needing help and am notoriously independent.

I almost wept when he told me as I was so looking forward to pottering about by myself, catching up on a couple little jobs and assessing what needs to still be done for Christmas. The gesture was completely heartfelt so I had no choice but to smile and look grateful, but internally I was fuming 😤