To ask for either your best or worst Secret Santa presents?

[tearsbeingwashedaway]

Not mine but ones I’ve been involved in

Someone gave a box of free chocolates they’d got at a hotel.

Someone bought a baby book and toy for someone who was maybe 4 or 5 months pregnant, she promptly threw it in the bin because she didn’t want to jinx anything by buying so early. I get it but it didn’t need the dramatics and she could have just donated it.

A sex toy. There was an HR meeting.

Worst: supermarket chocolate

Best: craft beer that I’d never tried

Always happy with any kind of food or drink item as long as it’s from a small producer and not something I can just grab myself from the supermarket.

I think I was once accidentally the giver of a terrible secret Santa gifts I worked with a woman who was very into fitness and at the time she always talked about cooking from the Joe Wicks books. I bought her his workout dvd. At the time my 20 year old brain didn't think much of it but now I look and cringe, she probably thought I was saying she was fat!

My worst gift was a colour your own gnome and some felt tip pens. It still baffles me!

best was some lovely stuff to do with my fave band.
worst was the year I got nothing, was an online group. everyone was waxing lyrical about what they had hot. in the end I mentioned I had zilch. the person who got me insisted I had be sent something, told me to I must have missed the delivery and to go to the sorting office!!! yep that would work seeing as I had no idea where it came from or anything. worse part she gave a sob story(it was a support group, so we were all in the same boat) and everyone felt sorry for her.
I left the group soon after. was very hurtful.

Oh I got a magic 8 ball, I was late 40s.

What's a magic 8 ball?

I can't remember any secret santa gifts I've had. But the best/my favourite was a work one, we were all young (20s) and I got the 18yo Saturday girl who I got on well with and she was always regaling us with stories of her pets. There was a facebook or twitter or something at the time called "Texts from Dog" which was supposed to be if your dog could text you, what that would look like. Mocked up to look like an iPhone text message screen in the way that was funny at the time. There was a book of it so I bought her that.

Anyway, it was exactly her sense of humour and she'd also never seen the page. So she kept reading bits out and crying with laughter She said it would cheer her up every tine she had a bad day.

www.boredpanda.com/texts-from-dogs/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=organic&utm_campaign=organic

This looks incredibly lame in 2022 now it's been reproduced on 500 clickbait sites but I promise you it was funny ten years ago.

I bloody hate Secret Santa...it never ends well 🤦‍♀️

The most embarrassing was when I opened a life size, blow up, female sex doll! 😱😨 WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK! There was complete silence in the school hall as everyone looked on in horror (50 or so primary teachers/TAs and support staff!)

It took me a few seconds to actually compute what I was holding...and then I silently re-wrapped it and put it under the table 🤷‍♀️

I was 54 at the time...very professional, no reason at all why anyone might have thought this was a 'good idea'. I never found out who had sent it, and can only hope that it was done in error (maybe meant for a partner/brother/boyfriend and mislabelled 🥹)

I loved Texts from Dog. The guy who did it was very witty.

Worst. Post it notes

Same place, one of the young (she was 21) very pretty girls got red sequinned nipple tassels. She was very embarrassed and no one admitted buying them.

I found out about a year later that one of the men in the office had bought them for her. He was in his fifties. Awful.

I got nipple tassels one year. The giver was a woman.

Christ, all of these make me feel bad for being upset at my crappy, under budget smellies set last year! What tipped me over the edge was the fact that we were (supposedly!) a pretty close knit team who knew each other well. I chose to assume it might have been from the 1 bloke who probably gave the job to his wife who played it safe.

Luckily, when I used to do Secret Santa, the team usually tried hard and no one gave anything to embarrass anyone. I did get a B&H bath set which was just thoughtless, but not offensive.

One year I drew the name of a woman I didn't really know so I had to do some digging to find out what she'd like. She absolutely loved her present, but went around telling everyone how our boss had nailed her gift...

Today I got a very amusing mug and a tin of posh hot chocolate. Excellent present.

The worst: A jar of pork and brandy pate. I’m a non-drinking vegetarian…

I've name changed because it is very very outing to anyone that knows me. It wasn't secret santa, but it does need sharing.

Some years ago I had an awful colleague. She was lazy and an utter bitch. She was relatively new to the team - a few months in. Also useful to know I'm a size 20 and 40 years old at that time.

Last day work before Xmas, this colleague left us all a gift on our desk. Chocolate box sized. I had a terrible day at work, was still there 2 hours past my finish time. My boss sat next to me, and we decided it called for me opening the box of chocolates.

I opened the box of chocolates.

It wasn't chocolates. It was a nylon chemise. A nylon, zebra print chemise, with matching thong. Edged in hot pink.

From my colleague! Who I really really didn't know well.

My manager obviously ran and opened hers! Hers was black satin with a matching black collar.

We had my work Secret Santa tonight and whoever my Santa was, they absolutely smashed it! A great little hamper full of stuff I like! And I’ve only worked there a few months. Am really thrilled

Not me but my friend got an ultrasound picture and her present was knowing the gender of the baby before anyone else.

Years ago my boss all of 6 weeks into her job got given a rubber snake in a box. She had a phobia about snakes. Following year a tin of cat food. Neither were from me but I got the blame for them.

Over the years a couple of delights for me. Packet of fruit flavoured condoms, The Little Book of Farting. Better were the selection of fruit shaped soaps from Body Shop, a houseplant and nice wine. Not to everyone’s taste but I loved them, a pair of purple satin knickers, a pen with a half clad man which you turned upside down and his pants came off revealing his well endowed glory.

I am self employed now so don’t have any part of secret Santa nonsense

It's ours tomorrow and I already know that the person who had got me is off sick. The same thing happened last year! So no Secret Santa for me. Reading some of the above it's probably just as well.

In recent years I've had:
A cock ring
Chocolate Willies
A "wanky" candle

We're a small company who all know each other very well and have a lot of laughs and banter on a daily basis. The whole aim of our secret Santa is the funnier/sillier/more outrageous the better. It's actually quite disappointing if someone gets something nice and boring as the fun is seeing what everyone gets.

I do feel that, in a different type of company, there might have been disiplinaries/HR involvement over some of the choices 🤔

What's a wanky candle and does it need batteries?

@SinnerBoy it's like a Yankee candle but with better fragrances. Mine was Fanny Farts.

Ha ha ha!

A good friend got me in a SS last year and bought me a framed photo of my favourite beach.
I once got a pen in an arse-shaped holder which farted when you put the pen back in. Tbf it amused me tho.

@abblie I love that mug, excellent choice!

A scan of someone else's child was her "present"?!