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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think we need an anti-social media movement?

55 replies

Santacrazy · 13/12/2022 14:46

So this is a controversial topic with strong feelings on both sides. My position is that I hear a lot of young people (20s) look back on their teens and talk about the terrible impact social media had on their lives and particularly their mental health.

Obviously there are some positives about social media, but there is also a hell of a lot of negative: constant comparison, body image issues, social contagion of issues like eating disorders, political echo chambers, self-harm, images of porn, bullying, grooming etc etc etc.

Many parents I know don't like it, but feel that they can't really limit or stop SM because it would leave their kid socially isolated. Personally, it doesn't seem to me like that would be worse than the current situation, BUT if there was a grassroots movement of parents who said: no social media until a specific age (16?), that would solve the problem. If half the other kids at school weren't allowed it either, your kid wouldn't be left out. It's just you need a critical mass of parents to do it.

So: YABU = social media is on balance a force for good OR no-one would agree to this.

YANBU = sign me up!

OP posts:
Cheesuswithallama · 13/12/2022 22:23

Forgot chester zoo who also did amazingly during lockdowns with live talks etc
instagram.com/chesterzoo?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

BogRollBOGOF · 13/12/2022 22:27

Hawkins001 · 13/12/2022 22:08

The thing is, before Facebook and social.media in General , the psychological issues, etc, already existed due in part to e.g. Fashion mags, peer pressure, even if suddenly all the internet and social media ect disappeared, the issues would still exist and the magazine's would still exist, tv influence would still exist.

we need to solve the root causes of it all,.not just ban the tools and mediums used.

Show quote history

As a teenager of the 90s there were plenty of toxic influences if you went down those routes. The medium has changed, and that has made toxic behaviours and influences more pervasive and harder to escape.

"Social media" as we know it now was from my mid-20s, smart phones becoming widespread from about 30. I've had the benefit of being an adult and able to sensibly select who/ what I follow.

Raising children who are getting to phone using age, I've tried to delay introducing phones as much is reasonable. My 12yo has needed it as a tool today both to inform me that his bus was late (he's autistic and panicked) and to get on the bus using the app. He's allowed WA as it's basically messaging, but that's about it. Fortunately his lack of social interest removes some pressure. He uses youtube (passively) and it's largely positive for developing his niche interests like Warhammer which are otherwise tricky to satisfy with RL contacts.

I've always talked to my children about what to do if things are going wrong and tried to delay as long as is reasonably practical. The problem is when there's a point where they are socially harmed by being left out compared to potential online harm.

It's a minefield and a long way from the clunky 386 desktop computer I had in my teenage years that could only communicate with a dot matrix printer. It's the medium and accessibility that's changed rather than underlying behaviours.

lljkk · 13/12/2022 22:37

paintitallover · 13/12/2022 22:01

I agree with the people pointing out that Mumsnet is a social media platform.

Yeah, I can't get past that wee bit of contradiction.
This IS a social online network.
So is any forums site. MSE, Reddit, PistonHeads. They are all social media, too.

My personal experience is that in-person nastiness (bulliness) was far worse than anything that I ever heard of happening online. Ban the in-person socialising if you think socialising is bad.

Hawkins001 · 13/12/2022 22:44

BogRollBOGOF · 13/12/2022 22:27

As a teenager of the 90s there were plenty of toxic influences if you went down those routes. The medium has changed, and that has made toxic behaviours and influences more pervasive and harder to escape.

"Social media" as we know it now was from my mid-20s, smart phones becoming widespread from about 30. I've had the benefit of being an adult and able to sensibly select who/ what I follow.

Raising children who are getting to phone using age, I've tried to delay introducing phones as much is reasonable. My 12yo has needed it as a tool today both to inform me that his bus was late (he's autistic and panicked) and to get on the bus using the app. He's allowed WA as it's basically messaging, but that's about it. Fortunately his lack of social interest removes some pressure. He uses youtube (passively) and it's largely positive for developing his niche interests like Warhammer which are otherwise tricky to satisfy with RL contacts.

I've always talked to my children about what to do if things are going wrong and tried to delay as long as is reasonably practical. The problem is when there's a point where they are socially harmed by being left out compared to potential online harm.

It's a minefield and a long way from the clunky 386 desktop computer I had in my teenage years that could only communicate with a dot matrix printer. It's the medium and accessibility that's changed rather than underlying behaviours.

Show quote history

That's all good points, I just don't see how every time it's omg x is bad, ban it ect

Testina · 14/12/2022 08:32

@dolor “tell me you have no clue what’s taught in schools and can’t be bothered to find out, without telling me you don’t know what’s taught in schools and can’t be bothering to find out…” 🤣

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