AIBU to think we need an anti-social media movement?

[Santacrazy]

So this is a controversial topic with strong feelings on both sides. My position is that I hear a lot of young people (20s) look back on their teens and talk about the terrible impact social media had on their lives and particularly their mental health.

Obviously there are some positives about social media, but there is also a hell of a lot of negative: constant comparison, body image issues, social contagion of issues like eating disorders, political echo chambers, self-harm, images of porn, bullying, grooming etc etc etc.

Many parents I know don't like it, but feel that they can't really limit or stop SM because it would leave their kid socially isolated. Personally, it doesn't seem to me like that would be worse than the current situation, BUT if there was a grassroots movement of parents who said: no social media until a specific age (16?), that would solve the problem. If half the other kids at school weren't allowed it either, your kid wouldn't be left out. It's just you need a critical mass of parents to do it.

So: YABU = social media is on balance a force for good OR no-one would agree to this.

YANBU = sign me up!

Meh, Facebook is as good or as bad as you make it. I don't go through life sharing my everything and rating everyone's everything else, that's a choice people make.

I don't do TikTok at all, but my kids do and again it's about what you do with it. They've had immense support through it for their various issues.

Yet here you are op, posting on social media

Absolutely wrong Mumsnet isn't social media at all it's a internet message board.

Bullying isn’t a new thing. Some people who find it difficult to ‘find their tribe’ often struggle in person and our online culture has really helped them. I don’t think eradicating social media will stop bullying, and cutting people off from their lifelines may even increase mental health issues for some people.

Mumsnet has been around since the beginning of time loooOOoOOOoong before any of this fancy OOO LOOK AT MY LUNCH TODAY OR MY THREE HOUR CONTOURED MAKE-UP LOOK etc.

Forum boards and the like were called exactly that. Social media is a different and a more dynamic animal.

I just think overall the downsides of SM outweigh the positives and that’s particularly true for kids and teens. MN is not social media but it has it’s downsides too - I find if I’m on here too much my thinking goes a bit negative.

interested that some people are successfully banning it for their kids. Like the pp said, there are kids who smoke or take drugs behind their parents’ backs but that doesn’t mean we just give up and let them do it.

@Santacrazy your opinion of social media is just that - an opinion and nothing more. How you use that to handle social media in your family is a family decision.

Personally I think bans achieve nothing except rebellion, and I think comparing SM use with drugs is just plain ridiculous.

I didn’t let my daughter until she was 13 and I felt she was mature enough to handle the downside of social media, even then I had all her log in details but some of her friends had been on since 10 or 11!

It did have its place during lockdown though which was a lonely time for many.

Imo you’ve got to learn to control your exposure and how you use it.

And teach your dc to as well. Because they will use it eventually and need a guide on how to be safe and mentally well

@Santacrazy
I Understand your perspectives op, and it's admirable.

that said two factors that existed before social.media that lead to some of the issues you discuss.

fashion magazines
peer pressure

take away social media and the causes are still there

Agree.

It’s easy to blame social media when parents aren’t teaching their children how to use it and pointing out what people use it for and how it can be misleading. If parents can explain the difference between make-believe and reality, how can they not do the same with social media? Or at least teach children how to think critically and ask questions?

I think it's coming. People will revolt. Social media is only good at slamming your self esteem, promoting narcissists, selling you stuff and bullying.

I would prefer that each social media provider properly managed their site and banned those who behave in certain unacceptable ways. Also a period of time between signing up and being able to make contributions/comments.

@Hawkins001 yes it’s my opinion but I think a lot of people share it. They just feel like they can’t stop their kids using it for fear of social isolation.

I also don’t buy the ‘let them have it so they learn how to use it safely/it’s inevitable that they will have it eventually’ thing. Yes the internet is unavoidable but actually loads of adults never use social media. It’s not a necessity in life. I think many people who do use it would be happier without it.

I’d like a halfway house of a “take personal responsibility movement” (as an individual and as a parent)

My stepdaughter in late 20s had barely any SM exposure and www hospitalised with anorexia. My 12yo is pretty clued up on EDs (partly via SM) and a supporter of body positivity (very much from SM).

As always: it’s not that simple, all good or all bad.

As an alterantive, we should realise teenagers spout bollocks as a teenager.

What you are trying to relay against is the wider issue of Children being held accounbtable to something they said on the 21st centrury playground, this then leads into the what some people think is justification of writing some people off based on there opinion when they was a teenager.

Whats needed is for people to not take SM litterally, but also take it seriously. The parents I know who take internet safety seriously have no concept of tiktok, there 10 year old is already on memes and internet culture when they 'limit' youtube.

It isn't about asking for a nanny state as that is just an educated view, this generation of parents have grown up with the internet, personal responsibility will be a something to haunt a lot of parents considering a lot of the internet doesn't forget.

Er.... I trust you are speaking for yourself here?

Social media keeps our local cat rescue going. It is essential for many small charities.
It connects families.
It provides mutual support.

You can kill someone with a knife. Or you can prepare food using one. Don't blame the tool, take responsibility.

What we need is an age limit on phones that can access the internet. Most 11 yr olds get given a phone when they go to secondary school, for safety reasons. They get smart phones because ‘everyone else has them’ and ‘to prevent bullying’ and then a few weeks later the boys have all seen violent misogynistic porn and the girls are all addicted to self harm crap on tiktok. But if no child was allowed a smartphone, that wouldn’t be happening anywhere near as much.

Children’s access to internet needs to be at home or at school and not in their pocket.

Bring back the Nokia 3210!!

You do know this thread is social media, right?

I agree with the people pointing out that Mumsnet is a social media platform.

Yet another 'schools should do xyz' that we already do! Look up the Computing and RSE curriculums 🙄.

The thing is, before Facebook and social.media in General , the psychological issues, etc, already existed due in part to e.g. Fashion mags, peer pressure, even if suddenly all the internet and social media ect disappeared, the issues would still exist and the magazine's would still exist, tv influence would still exist.

we need to solve the root causes of it all,.not just ban the tools and mediums used.

Nope. It’s definitely a form of social media.

My DS is 21 he is on some platforms but literally never posted or checked.

I think what people are really talking about is SM where you can be identified. So I’m on here and on discord but it’s purely by a user name, it’s more likely to be actually you on other forms of SM.

Strongly disagre.
It's also great for sharing beauty and knowledge.
Few of my faves
instagram.com/drewsblue?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=
instagram.com/walkerartgallery?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=
instagram.com/thewildlifetrusts?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=
instagram.com/blackforager?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=
Museums did exceptionally during covid. Live tours, lots of interesting things, videos...
Bloody hell you even have profiles dedicated to Excel tips😁
It's great raising awareness about issues like disability, the challenges and misconceptions (loving her voice) instagram.com/heatherhutchisonmusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

social media
noun

websites and applications that enable users to create and share content or to participate in social networking

Of course Mumsnet is social media.