To feel fucked over as a single mom

[Bonnytylershair]

I feel really low so please be kind. I left my abusive ex about 2 years ago and my two children live with me (spend time with the ex on alternative weekends).

my children attend primary school (4 & 6) but there is no after school club beyond 4pm, same at the other local schools. There are no holiday clubs where I live either.

I’ve got a crappy minimum wage morning job at the moment (after school run until lunch time) and despite applying for hundreds of other jobs, I keep being rejected as I can’t work the school holidays. If the children are sick, I look after them as I have no family, if they are off school at all, they are with me.

pre-children I had a really good job, very well paid. It was well paid as I had to travel a lot which I can’t do now due to the child care issues I have.

Just feel so fed up from constant job rejections. It’s been made clear to me so many times in feedback that i interview well and would be an excellent candidate…but I’m repeatedly passed over for people who can work school hols and beyond 4pm.

i feel trapped. I’ve applied for loads of wfh jobs but again, it’s generally shifts/includes weekends and I have the children.

what do others do? I didn’t want a broken home for my children. It was not my fault he was abusive but I’m paying the price (literally) whilst he swans about flashing the cash. He’s been promoted at work numerous times and he doesn’t take any time off in the holidays or if they are unwell.

it all just seems so unfair. Christmas is coming up and I feel so depressed.

@ILoveeCakes what was the point of your comment? To cast doubt on the op? It's fairly common for very popular "great blokes" to be abusive bullies in private.

My local authority is always advertising for HR officers. Flexible working and possibly 100% remote working now with Teams. Are you trying further afield? We take on a number of staff now who will never set foot in our office. Have you looked at what you would be entitled to from UC if you worked more hours and used childcare. local authorities are generous with training packages too. Pay isn’t great now though and pension isn’t so golden.

When I became a single parent I had two children in different schools with different start and finish times. I was working full-time. I had a mixture of different childminders on different days, a private nursery who would pick up and drop off at the school, a breakfast club and a ‘nanny’ who came to the house after school until I came home.

I hung on to my job for a few years but it was a nightmare and I started to get called from work to collect them for various reasons, then with covering inset days (different days as they were in different schools) and illnesses and various appointments I admitted defeat and took voluntary redundancy when it was offered.

I’m not sure how old you are but you can take a few years out and go back to work when the children are older. It’s not so easy to take a career break when you’re older though as it’s hard to pick your career back up. I agree with pps that you could train or study and continue what you’re doing working part-time. Have a long-term plan. I don’t know if any of the recruitment agencies would provide a way in. I signed up with an agency when I couldn’t find work after a career break and they got me work straight away.

Have you tried advertising for a childminder - I found mine that way. She ended up only being about 3 or 4 doors away from me. I think it was through Childcare.com. Not that they all do after school care but it’s worth a punt. I’ve also seen people advertising as babysitters on Nextdoor.com. One was a retired teacher… which seems like a good option. A couple of hours a day May suit some people.

If you got a better paid job could you then afford a live in au pair or advertise for a mum's help? A single friend of mine did this and found a lovely local older lady who did the school runs and cooked tea for her children early evening.

I would advise a civil service job. Go for EO roles (maybe AO) they tend to be really flexible. I do the school run most days at 3pm, then log on again at 4pm.

Look at civil service behaviours and make your answers 250 words in the star format!

I have heard that HMRC allows term time working, but not 100% sure

Your children don't come from a 'broken' home. When will women stop using this God awful term?!

Ive worked with someone in the police who did term time working only and I have a flexible working pattern that’s fewer hours in school holidays. I imagine a lot of public sector organisations are the same.

I’m a single Mum.

I work full time (although can do 2/5 days at home). I pay for a CM to pick up my primary aged son from school, and he goes to breakfast club external to the school when necessary.

I then pay for holiday clubs when necessary, although holiday time is split with exh. He was also abusive to me (emotionally, verbally) but not to them.

It’s a juggle.

I went down the route of working more and then paying for the childcare to facilitate that

Can you go to CMS for maintenance?

I also work for civil service btw