How do people think this is ok?

[Oneeyedreindeer]

My baby has a bad squint which requires surgery and will have some lasting implications (eg no depth perception).

now that he’s sitting up and awake more, people KEEP COMMENTING ON IT. On what planet is this ok? Every single day! “Oh your baby has a lazy eye”. “What’s wrong with his eye?” “Can you fix that” Etc etc etc

even worse people telling me he just needs glasses to fix it/giving me unsolicited medical advice because so and so has a totally different squint that required different treatment.

surely this is just rude? I just want people to be positive about my baby it’s starting to really get me down - I am worried enough about his eyesight as it is (he currently has no peripheral vision either).

I was born with a lazy eye and it is not corrected. I have worn glasses from a very early age and used to all the comments. If people comment now I just reply with 'yes I have one eye looking at you and the other eye is still trying to find you' 😂

That's so shocking and rude. My friends child has one, I don't pay any attention to it at all .. I would never bring it up unless she did and even then I would be cautious

My daughter (2) has a squint which she wears glasses for, it’s hard keeping them
on her a lot of the time. I one had a couple walk past us in Morrisons once and the woman tapped her fella on the shoulder and pointed at her and laughed. She didn’t have her glasses on and her eye was really turned in.
Admittedly I lost my cool and called them out on it, loudly with a few choice words thrown in.
Fuck being polite to rude arseholes.

How about “oh, we’re making personal comments about people’s appearances, are we? Your shirt is hideous.”

Just stare at them hard until they ask what's wrong....then say I'm just trying to work out why you'd ask such an inane question / make such an inane comment.
Then smirk when they start blustering.
Works every time.

It doesn’t bother me, never has. It’s banal - it’s like saying ‘gosh, you have brown hair’ to a lifelong brunette or something. But it isn’t offensive - it’s true and a harmless observation. I’m guessing the OP is a bit hung up that people are drawing attention to something the OP sees as a defect in her precious, perfect baby (because all babies are precious and perfect, of course). I don’t see astigmatism as a defect - some people are just born with non-matched eyes. It’s common. Around 8-9% of the population have it.

Slightly different but I was always asked (by strangers) if my twins were IVF babies. I found it strange as it was never asked of my older child.

I only retort if someone is being rude purposely. I think it's quite easy to tell when people are being shitty. I won't give you my eldest stock reply because without swearing or threatening he can cut people dead. I have been known to tell people that the disabled don't get beamed down in a wheelchair middle aged. Some people are born disabled. I can be ruder. Generally doesn't me feel better but if your going to be disablist to my kid you have zero excuse so prepair to get both barrels. I don't recommend it. My son also has eyes that don't work together but I don't notice it actually. Least of his issues. I was told his debpt perception in his brain would die. Turned out to not be true.

Some people are just plain ignorant 🙁

Some people are rude op. I too have a squint, diagnosed as an adult, I didn't have it as a child. I've not had surgery yet, but I'm hoping too soon.
I bet your dc is gorgeous.
I know it appears rude but I don't think people mean to be. I'd just quickly tell them about it, and move the conversation on!
How do you feel about it? If it's something that upsets you, then you may find you are are more upset by these comments.
If it does upset you, try to work through these feelings. I'm not being patronizing, I've had to work through my own feelings for myself. It doesn't have to be a big thing, and if it can be fixed then go for it!

What the fuck that’s horrendous!!!! I am raging for you - how you didn’t throw things I’m not sure. Cunts.

I think it’s a lot harder because it’s a comment about my baby, rather than myself. It would be upsetting about myself but I have that extra defensive layer because it’s my little, sweet baby and I’m already upset for him about his vision and feel protective of that anyway.

some great suggestions snd solidarity on this thread; thanks!

My middle daughter has a rare chromosome disorder, and there are noticeable differences about her appearance which people have commented on. When she was a baby with glasses someone said to me ' does she actually need those or are you trying to make a fashion statement?' and someone else said 'did you forget to take her goggles off after swimming?'. Once at a soft play I heard another Mum say to her child 'keep away from that little girl, there's something wrong with her head'. It used to upset me, now I just ignore it. All the best for you and your gorgeous boy x

Thank you / and to you and your lovely daughter ❤️