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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To suspect that my 2 year old was left in the same nappy all day at nursery.

52 replies

Cakeymamma88 · 12/12/2022 19:13

My daughter is 2 and goes to nursery a few days a week. I dropped her off for her session and when I collected her 5hrs later her Nursery teacher hurriedly mentioned that she needed to change her quickly before she left. I siad not to worry about it and that I'd pop her in the bath as soon as she got home because she was covered in glitter. Got her undressed for her bath and im almost certain she still had the same nappy on that I'd put on her as I was getting her ready for nursery. It was big and puffy and quite yellow and didnt smell great at all. I put that on her about an hour before I dropped her off so it means she'd been sat in the urine for 6 hours. I did put 2 spares in her nursery bag but they were a different brand and they hadn't been used. The reason I believe that it's the same nappy is because I was out just before and I pulled the nappy out of my backpack. It was the last one I had. My concealer has leaked and a bit got on the nappy at the back. It's still on the one I took off her before her bath. I called the nursery and said I don't believe it's been changed and they honestly didn't seem to be too concerned. But it was in her daily log that it was changed halfway through her session. They've always been brilliant with her. Shes never had a problem there before. I'll speak to them about it when she is in next time. But I just think that this is unacceptable to leave a 2 year old or any baby in a nappy for 5+ hours.

OP posts:
FuckoffeeBeforeCoffee · 12/12/2022 19:18

Surely she wears them for longer overnight?

It's really not a big deal. Don't try and make it into one.

santasbushybeard · 12/12/2022 19:19

It’s not great that it was in her daily log if it’s untrue. I would be speaking to them about that.

Elletine · 12/12/2022 19:21

I don't see an issue with the nappy being on for that amount of time but I would be concerned that they have said they changed her when they clearly didn't. I would talk to them about that.

Pjsandhotchoc · 12/12/2022 19:24

My son has been in a nappy for 4/5 hours before, it’s been full to bursting when I’ve got around to changing it. Time ran away with us and we were out and about having fun. It happens. Like a PP said, they have the same nappy on for longer overnight.

Having said that, the issue id have here is the seemingly falsified log stating they’d changed it mid session. I would not be happy at all to know the people responsible for the care of my child were lying to me about what they have or haven’t done. In fact, I’d go as far to say that I’d be changing nurseries because of it, I’d not be able to trust them again.

lljkk · 12/12/2022 19:25

I was unhappy that nursery changed them every 3 hours even when not half full/remotely used.

Original poster
Cakeymamma88 · 12/12/2022 19:30

I know full well that babies stay in thier nappies all night while everyone sleeps. But the fact is she isnt in bed asleep. Shes in a childcare setting and the staff should be changing her every 3 hrs atleast. What's peed me off is that it states in the log she was changed at a certain time when its obvious to me that she wasn't. She is a bit sore anyway so doesn't need anything making it worse. Also it's made me lose a bit of trust in them for trying to falsify

OP posts:
Sillybanana · 12/12/2022 19:34

I would definitely mention about the log..that’s naughty. Maybe don’t outright accuse them of lying as they will just go on the defensive. Just say I think there’s been some sort of mistake in my daughter’s log, as it says she’s been changed but she’s clearly in the same nappy. Can you explain? Something like this..

NameIsBryceQuinlan · 12/12/2022 19:35

It isn't ideal but I'd be more concerned about them lying. If they had just been honest and said it had been a crazy day and apologised I would find that much better.

solomam · 12/12/2022 19:37

I wouldn't be happy with this either OP, with either the lack of changing in 5 hours or the entry in her log saying she was changed when she wasn't. Definitely raise it with them.

Purplechicken207 · 12/12/2022 19:37

Yeah I'd have an issue with that. Of course it's longer overnight, but they aren't eating and drinking more overnight, so generally wee a lot less! Has it happened to us at home a few times? Sure, as someone else said, life gets away from you. But this is a childcare setting where they're supposed to be checked, and changes accurately logged. So yep I'd query/complain. And probably start surreptitiously marking nappies for a few days. But if its a one off, well, life got away from them once, but they should be able to explain why a change is logged but same nappy on her and spares unused.

What if she'd pooped? Would they have realised? I mean yeah sure there's a smell but you'd hope they'd be checking now and then regardless of smell/child saying they had a dirty nappy. As a baby my 3yo only ever got a rash at nursery, not at home. And it's because there was often a delay in changing because out of a dozen babies/v young toddlers you don't always realise straight away, but that's why they should be checking regularly enough.

Sartre · 12/12/2022 19:38

They have a nappy on at night longer but they also don’t tend to drink through the night so less urine output as a result, stupid comparison.

My DS’s nursery only changed him once on Friday, he was there 7-4. I was really annoyed about it because he was wet by the time we got home and very upset about it. It said in the log that they changed him at 10am then checked at 3 and he was dry… I don’t buy it personally and I was pretty angry. It’s neglect and when you’re paying a lot of money to send them, it’s even more of a sting.

CarefreeMe · 12/12/2022 19:53

I would make a slight mark and take a photo of it.

If this happens again then you know for a fact they are lying.

I would not be happy with my child having a full nappy all day.

Nevertrustasilentpoo · 12/12/2022 19:56

I would be very unhappy. It's failing a duty of care to her, and you said she is now sore. Mark the nappy with the time on it and a smiley face! Bet it won't happen again. 🤔

Carolthereindeer · 12/12/2022 19:58

Isn’t it more likely, in a nursery you’re otherwise happy with, that they accidentally missed her when changing/wrote in the wrong child’s log by mistake than there’s some massive issue of neglect or falsifying records? As a parent I’ve occasionally screwed up and forgotten a nappy longer than I should have, I can’t really condemn a nursery worker for the same thing if it’s a one off.

WhatHappenedToYoyos · 12/12/2022 20:00

Could they have checked her nappy at the time of the log (half way) and decided it was ok so left it on? Perhaps their system doesn't have an option for checked nappy so they ticked changed nappy?

I'd still contact them as I'd want my kid's nappy changed within that 5 hour window and it will show them you've noticed. Definitely subtly mark the morning ones if you don't trust them.

BeanieTeen · 12/12/2022 20:03

I think it can be tricky at that age because they sometimes start to hold their wee - so she may have been dry enough when they checked and then did a huge wee not long after - my DS used to do this all the time just before we started potty training.

coldec · 12/12/2022 20:12

BeanieTeen · 12/12/2022 20:03

I think it can be tricky at that age because they sometimes start to hold their wee - so she may have been dry enough when they checked and then did a huge wee not long after - my DS used to do this all the time just before we started potty training.

So why did they say she had been changed rather then 'checked but she was dry' in the log?

OP I wouldn't be happy at all. It's s breakdown of trust, if they lie about this what else are they willing to cover up?

Crunchymum · 12/12/2022 20:16

I put that on her about an hour before I dropped her off so it means she'd been sat in the urine for 6 hours

So she wet the nappy before you dropped her and you didn't change her?

iRun2eatCake · 12/12/2022 20:21

I wouldn't mention that you had a mark on the nappy which showed it was the same one.

I would however test the theory out and mark more nappies now!

feministqueen · 12/12/2022 21:07

I would be really cross at this OP. There is a significant difference between a child being asleep overnight and being changed first thing in the morning, and a child who is regularly drinking throughout the day, and needing regular changing.

It sounds like they knew they hadn't changed her and that was why they hurriedly mentioned it at home time.

A smelly and yellow nappy would indicate that it had been wet for a long period of time which isn't good. Mention it to them tomorrow and tell them that you know she wasn't changed and that you expect better moving forward.

justmewithmylifetoday · 12/12/2022 21:21

When I used to work in a nursery (management) our rule was Max 4 hours between changes.

panko · 12/12/2022 21:21

Use a different brand in the morning to send them in in

Imknackeredzzz · 12/12/2022 21:24

sorry to say I know from experience that most of the logs in nurseries are made up, the staff aren’t paid enough to care. It’s extremely common unfortunately

AnuSTart · 12/12/2022 21:34

2? Toilet training?

Original poster
Cakeymamma88 · 12/12/2022 21:35

Crunchymum · 12/12/2022 20:16

I put that on her about an hour before I dropped her off so it means she'd been sat in the urine for 6 hours

So she wet the nappy before you dropped her and you didn't change her?

Yes. So every single parent drops everything to change thier babies nappy immediately before nursery drop off do they? As I said we were out and I also had to drive from another city to drop her off. Once she is in nursery its thier responsibility to check and change my daughters nappy. And being in a nappy for 1 hour before nursery really isnt the issue here. But yet it's what you decide to pull me up on.

OP posts:
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