To postpone TTC due to colleague pregnancy

[Beaniebags]

Apologies for not posting on a conception thread, but I wanted opinions from people that aren't actively trying to get pregnant.. in the hopes that the responses might be more balanced.

DP and I have been TTC baby number 2 for a few months. I've previously fallen pregnant a few times without any 'trying' involved, so it looks like our fertility is starting to decline. We're well into our 30s now.

Colleague has announced her pregnancy today. Absolutely chuffed for her, but now I'm wondering if I should stop TTC until she's closer to her due date? We work in a small team and I know it would be shit for everyone if we were to both be off work at the same time. I suspect I will be expected to cover some of her workload while she's off. We both work part time.

So..

YANBU - Support your colleagues and wait until she's closer to her due date before restarting TTC.

YABU - Keep TTC

YABU life’s far too short OP

Yabu

And mad if you do postpone

Would they put off making you redundant if, for example, your partner was being made redundant?

Just go for it OP

not worth worrying about OP. She might never return from Maternity leave. If you keep ttc then you might not fall pregnant for a while yet. You might never fall pregnant and then if you’d taken time off ttc you’d never know whether or not you would have if you hadn’t taken the break from ttc.

Put your family first op, you'll regret it if you leave it and it's too late. These things happen all the time in the work environment, they can find cover with plenty of notice!

If you think it's declining, don't wait. From someone who very nearly didn't end up with baby number 2
You do you, they are legally obliged to figure it out if you end up off at the same time

YABU, your family is your priority. Good luck!

Don’t wait OP

Continue ttc
They would need to find replacements if you both handed in your notice at the same time so ttc shouldn’t be any different. Live your life for you, not for work.

No way, don't postpone. Your workplace will just have to manage.

You definitely continue to ttc. If you're both off at the same time then it's your employers job to sort it out. Life is far too short!

Yanbu

How thoughtful of you btw.
Most wouldn’t give it a second thought.

No don't put it off, there could be another pregnancy, then another , then another. You are not indispensable in any job, you sound lovely but put your family first

Madness of you stop ttc because colleague is pregnant.

What if it takes you years or you miss the boat?
There's committed dedication to your employer and there's putting your life & family on hold!! 😱- please don't do this for an employer no matter how great they are. We're all expendable at work even if you don't feel it...

Also How do you know colleague will return from Mat leave? (As that's at her discretion)

IME There's never a perfect time to get pregnant, as there's always a "better time" to wait for in the future.

Carry on as you were, ttc and having fun DTD !

Your employer will manage.

That’s very thoughtful, but don’t wait. It’s your boss’ responsibility to organise cover. It could take more time anyway (although hopefully not!)

If you are good at your job (you sound pretty conscientious) then realistically there is no good time (in the eyes of your employer) for you to take maternity leave.

Also
Sometimes a (grand)parent gets ill
Or a redundancy two years later for DH
Or it gets harder to conceive as blah blah once we are mid 30s
Or... you want to move house...
Or colleague returns then gets pregnant straight again away... (by accident or intentional..!)

The thing is there's always a reason to postpone. How would you feel if in 2 months someone else falls pregnant.
As thoughtful as it is, do what is right for your family - you'll never forgive yourself if you leave it too late.

You sound like a very kind person but please remember every single one of us is replaceable at work. You have no idea how long it will take or anything else so TTC like you planned. Any leave is a pain but it’s also part and parcel of employing humans with life circumstances.

So I say keep DTD and ttc...! (The baby you're meant to have will come along... and you'll be glad you didn't pause for.. (what 14+ months.....when you add in her preg time and waiting till halfway through her Mat leave after birth of her baby...)

YABU. It's lovely that you've thought of the wider impact but honestly, don't put your life on hold for anyone, especially not work! If you left they'd have someone else in by next month. That's not to say you're not a hugely valuable member of the team - just that you don't owe them your time or your life.
They will get by just fine, all places of work do! But your time now of TTC and growing your family shouldn't wait for anyone. Good luck!

Do not put it off. Life is too short and work is not that important. They'll cope.

No I dont think you should postpone your plans. Dont postpone it because a colleague is prrgnant.mshe might even get pregnant again when on leave then what. No.

Honestly I think it’s crazy to even consider putting ttc on hold for the sake of a job.

Don't put on hold. It's not unknown for women to come back from a long maternity leave pregnant with their next child.