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Original poster

11mo - Nursery not giving bottles

60 replies

sjxoxo · 12/12/2022 16:38

I have just picked my baby up from
nursery and lost my shit at the manager. Feel awful. 11 month old. Nursery don’t really tell me about his bottles during the day; only about lunch and naps etc. They might say he had milk at lunch for example. Tonight I specifically asked about his bottles - how many ml is he drinking a day fluid wise- and basically they aren’t giving him bottles like I do at home, despite me asking specifically when he started and several times since. I don’t know if I am BU and they think at 11 months he doesn’t need so much milk now.. maybe. He is my first so I don’t really know! But he is happy at home. Two things for context - I am
not in the UK and my baby is big, he is 12kgs.

At home he has:
first thing: bottle 210ml which is 8oz & breakfast (toast& banana)
11am bottle 210ml 8oz
1pm lunch and watet
4pm snack and bottle 180/200ml 7-8pm
6pm dinner and water
7-8pm bottle 210ml 8oz before bed

i think at nursery he is not getting hardly any bottles during the day. What should I be doing? The manager seemed to think he is having too much milk.. as I am not in the UK I feel they maybe have different guidance but maybe at 11mo he doesn’t need them and she is right? Please tell me what your 11/12mo are having milk wise and should I force them to give bottles? I am worried he’s having not much fluid..
please help.. I’m worrying about it 😞
thanks all xox

OP posts:
TidyDancer · 12/12/2022 18:36

Yeah that is a lot of milk, OP.

Why did you lose your shit with the manager? Were they lying to you about how much he was having?

2022again · 12/12/2022 18:53

have you had the health visitor check him over recently, how tall is he as if he's weighing over 12kg at 11 months old he may be pushing into becoming overweight... so i don't think there would be any issues with him cutting back on his bottles( & as other have said he should be moving onto using cups now )

Pjsandhotchoc · 12/12/2022 18:57

My concern here would be that the nursery haven’t done what you’ve asked, and seemingly with no discussion reduced the amount of milk your baby is having. Unless I’ve misunderstood?

I’d be very angry about that. Of course, if they think baby is having too much milk, they should communicate with you about how to reduce the milk intake. But to take that upon themselves is wrong.

It does seem like a lot of formula, honestly, but babies vary wildly. My friend’s baby was down to a bedtime bottle only by 10 months, my little one still has 9oz of cows milk at breakfast and before bed at 20 months. As long as it’s not affecting their solid intake it is ok to reduce gradually. And like I said, it’s not on the nursery to make that decision.

Original poster
sjxoxo · 12/12/2022 19:02

He is very tall aswell- more so than his weight actually. He is on a higher percentile for height than weight!
I was cross with the manager because they have not done as I asked on a few things; the rest aren’t that important but I feel the feeding and sleeping is a bigger deal, and the communication between the staff is very poor. They are very kind but I find they say ok to something and then they don’t do it and don’t say anything as to why not.

He eats three meals a day and one snack, aswell as all the milk! Sometimes two snacks as nursery give a snack in morning aswell sometimes. We are seeing our GP tomorrow for a jab so I will talk to her about it and see what she thinks. He sleeps poorly at nursery but brilliant at home. He sleeps through the night with rare exception. Thanks for all the replies x

OP posts:
Purplechicken207 · 12/12/2022 19:11

Milk should still be a really important part of nutrition up to 12 months, but of course that reduces from 9 months in my experience, as food intake gradually increases. Both of mine were/are breastfed on demand. Once 3yo was at nursery at nearly 12months she had a breastfeed morning and night on nursery days, another before midday nap on home days. Little one is now 10months and breastfeeds probably 5 times a day, and 3 solid meals. Advice is to start including snacks instead of milk around the 11-12 months mark, but they are looser when it comes to breastfeeding on demand (because they supposedly self regulate more than formula fed babies I think?! Everyone says its not possible to overfeed a breastfed baby anyway...)
Bear in mind they are supposed to move on from formula to cows milk (or suitable alternative) at 12 months, so it should be reducing and he should now be getting much more of his intake from solid food.

Also, my little one (10m this week!) is big too, just shy of 11kg. He's in clothes for 2 year olds, so as long as your medical professional is happy, don't sweat him being heavy.
All this aside, I'd be furious with them deciding for you, and from previously hiding it from you. It isn't their decision, it's your baby and you pay for his care.

PurBal · 12/12/2022 19:15

At 11mo DS was eating meals and snacks plus water and one milk feed a day.

CandyLeBonBon · 12/12/2022 19:19

The thing is though op often babies behave differently when away from us. Nursery is a highly stimulating environment and milk/naps may just not be as appealing as they are at home. If the nursery is willfully misleading you, that's one thing but you can't force a child to eat or sleep so you might owe them an apology.

StarsandStones · 12/12/2022 19:33

If you talk to the GP, also tell him/her how much solid foods your little one eats besides the amount of formula. Some kids use the milk to replace food. Some just need the combination a little bit longer in order to thrive. You need to find out which it is...

MilkyYay · 12/12/2022 19:39

32oz of milk in a day would be what a baby would have at about 4 months old when they aren't eating solids. By 11m i'd be expecting 3 meals a day, snacks, and probably a couple of 6 ounce cups of milk. Mine would have just had a sippy cup morning and night.

yoyo1234 · 12/12/2022 21:07

My 2 have drunk loads of milk at that age as weaning took a bit longer. They certainly seemed to think "food for fun before 1". My youngest (2 years) still takes milk 3x day and far more if he can. I think as long as your little one seems to be settling okay I would be okay with it 😊.

serenghetti2011 · 12/12/2022 21:18

That’s a lot of milk.
i didn’t give mine that much milk at 11/12 months. They have. Breakfast and some milk in with weetabix or whatever then 5oz pre nap lunch then if needed small top up bottle, but all meals first then milk as they wouldn’t eat much with a tummy full of milk then 8oz at bedtime you cut back as they wean onto solids as they don’t need milk only as a food anymore as hell get nutrients from meals. Hence why you top up if he’s hungry afterwards rather than fill up prior to meals.

But you’ll end up having just a morning and evening bottle then cutting it to milk/water with meals in a cup.

Notimeforaname · 12/12/2022 21:21

Worked in a nursery for a time. Once they could eat meals we never gave bottles. That's a lot of milk your baby is having for his age. I'd apologise for ' losing my shit ' with the staff.

JLQ1020 · 12/12/2022 21:22

I'm a FTM personally if he is happy, eats solid food well why not let him still have his bottle. Maybe start reducing the volume slightly if worried?
If he is constipated you will be able to tell if he is low on fluids.
But again I'm a FTM so no real experience.

heartbreakhotel20 · 12/12/2022 21:34

My son was having 3 bottles a day at that age, so you could look at reducing the amount of milk he is having, BUT the nursery should not be making that decision at all. As a former nursery manager it would have been my job to discuss this with you advise you of local guidance and support you in making a decision to reduce the amount of milk and offer alternatives. I would never have not given bottles because I disagreed with you nor would I have been vague and hidden the fact I was not giving bottles. That is very poor of the nursery, you have every right to be angry with them and honestly I would be looking at swapping nursery as would have issues trusting them in the future. X

PissedOffNeighbour22 · 12/12/2022 21:45

My daughter had at least as many bottle per day as your child. She's never been a great eater and loved her bottle of milk.

My son is 10mths and he's already dropped to 3 bottles a day. Never drinks more than 4oz per feed. He'd eat anything in sight though but is very slim and not that much shorter than my almost 3yr old daughter.

gonkk · 12/12/2022 21:53

Yeah I would apologise for losing your shit.

Just give him a bottle at night and morning. And maybe try from a cup.

And up the snacks from 1 to 2 or 3.
The nursery are right, he doesn't need that much milk. That's a shed load of milk for his age. You say he's on the upper centile for his weight, I don't know if he's too big or not, but cutting down on formula will help.

Plus, he can move to cows milk now / at most in 4 weeks. Give him cows milk in a cup. You sound like you're doing a fab job, but the nursery staff have done nothing wrong.

addictedtotheflats · 12/12/2022 21:59

Mine didnt have any milk at 11 months at nursery, I did shifts and his dad would just give 6oz formula before bed. He just had food and water.

luxxlisbon · 12/12/2022 22:05

4 8oz bottles a day is absolutely ridiculous for an 11 month old! I would say most babies at that age aren’t even having a bottle during the day at nursery, maybe a drink of milk from a cup.
At that age DD was only having a bit of milk before bed.

Mammamia23 · 12/12/2022 22:15

Hi @sjxoxo havent read all the replies sorry. That is a lot of milk! My 11mo was having 3 bottles a day, and the middle one (at nursery) he wouldn’t always have. If you’ve onot just found out he’s not having milk in the day, sounds like he didn’t really miss it as he would have been starving when you got home?? Saying that in the nicest way!

sometimes the nursery wouldn’t give him the bottle - if it coincided with snack time / he was asleep etc they just made sure he has more food!

Original poster
sjxoxo · 13/12/2022 05:45

I think ‘ridiculous’ is a bit of a strong word- he’s a happy baby and I have no concerns about him at home at all. As I said he is a really big boy and his dads side of the family are exceptionally tall- his dad is 2m20! I suppose my concern is that he can’t express himself v well and at nursery for example they tell me he struggles to nap but at home he has a bottle before his nap and sleeps for at least an hour, normally an hour and a half- there he is only napping for 30 mins a time and they say he cries.. I’ve told them to give a bottle and they haven’t done it. I feel like I’ve told the different staff at multiple times and they don’t seem to communicate between themselves despite there being a central record book. I do find childcare really difficult as obviously you don’t know them from Adam and I looked at lots of childcare options when I was pregnant and couldn’t find one that I thought was really great.. nursery tell me that he’s happy there and they think he is doing great. I don’t have any concerns apart from the feeding/drinking - he is defined hungry at the end of the day as when he comes home and snatches a biscuit and drink off me as soon as we get out of nursery! I think I will speak to the GP for her recommendations and I think I’ll insist they give a decent drink of milk in the afternoons even if that’s not ‘normal’ for them. Thanks all x

OP posts:
BeanieTeen · 13/12/2022 06:41

As I said he is a really big boy and his dads side of the family are exceptionally tall- his dad is 2m20!

This is the most bizarre drip feed I’ve ever seen on here I think.

NoDairyNoProblem · 13/12/2022 06:49

Dads over 7ft tall? What percentile is your DS?

Given the reduced nap/tearful I would assume he’s looking for the pre nap bottle.

JessicaBrassica · 13/12/2022 06:57

Just for context, OP, Dd never had bottles. She was bf but dropped bf during the day at about 8mo ( her choice - she was far too nosy to face me during the day). I fed her morning and evening but otherwise she was on 3 meals a day, snacks and cups of cow's milk from 9mo. She's a tall, bright energetic teen now! Reducing bottles in the day, eating more snacks and switching to a cup will do your Lo no harm.

BMrs · 13/12/2022 07:21

It doesn't matter the nursery managers opinion, you are the mother and get to decide!

BringBackFoilWrappers · 13/12/2022 07:26

I think at that age my DS was having milk 2-3 times a day about 6 oz each so I think it worked out up to 12-18 oz a day.
But in between he was having solid food and he would vary his milk intake on how much food he had eaten.
A typical day would be milk-breakfast-lunch-milk offered after lunch-dinner-milk
This gradually reduced and now he is dropping his morning milk at 2.5 years old and only really getting milk at night or calcium from other dairy products.
The trick is to start prioritising solid food in the day after 1 year so they don't fill up on milk.
We still gave milk first in the mornings as my DS was very cranky and thirsty.