Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think DP should have taken our dog out

79 replies

strawberryjammy · 11/12/2022 14:26

DP walks our dog first thing during the week, and I walk him first thing at the weekends so that she can have a lie in. Loosely, on all days after the early morning walk I am responsible for walking him and then DS is responsible for walking him about 4.30pm onwards, however these times are not totally rigid and we all help out depending on who is out and who is at home etc. We don't have a garden so can't just open the back door to let dog out to go to the toilet, we actually have to take him for a walk (though this can be 5 mins long if he's already had enough exercise that day).

This morning I was helping out at a Christmas event at a club I volunteer at. I took the dog for a walk before I left at 8.30am. The event was due to last until 12.30pm but as I was volunteering I was going to be there later than that for clearing up etc afterwards. By the time I got home it was just after 1.30pm.

At 12.25pm DP sent a message on our family group chat to say that our dog was barking to go out and was anyone available to take him out. Clearly I was not at home (she knew where I was) and DS was asleep. I saw the message about 10 mins after she sent it but didn't open or reply to it as I was busy and assumed the people who were at home - DP and DS - could sort it out between them.

DP then sent another message at 1.35pm saying that the dog was going crazy barking. At this point I had just pulled up on our driveway and was going into the house. DP asked me if our dog had done a poo this morning and when I said no, she said "that must be what's wrong with him now then".

At this point I was flabbergasted to realise that nobody had taken the dog out yet. I asked why he hadn't been out yet and DP said, "it's my day off". DS was still asleep (he has issues with insomnia and deep sleep so not unexpected that he hadn't woken up yet). I put the lead on the dog and said to him, "poor puppy". DP said that if that was an attempt to get at her, I was being very rude. AIBU to think that DP was unreasonable not to take our dog out when he needed to, even though it was her 'day off' and she wanted a break? I totally understand her desire for a break, but I think it's cruel to not be flexible enough to take the dog out if there is nobody else around to do it. She didn't know I would be home when I was and DS is unlikely to waken for a while yet. So she effectively left the dog barking indefinitely (it turned out to be 'only' 1 hour 10 mins) because she thought she shouldn't have to take him out today.

OP posts:
boomboombang · 11/12/2022 14:29

I can’t stand anyone who lets an animal suffer to make a point so I’d be raging

mamabear715 · 11/12/2022 14:32

I'd love the dog & bin the 'DP'.
How uncaring & cruel is that? To you as well as DDog.

toomuchlaundry · 11/12/2022 14:33

I can’t believe she sat there sending messages rather than walking the dog

Overthebow · 11/12/2022 14:34

Yes awful behaviour from your DP. You know now you cant leave the dog in her care.

thelobsterquadrille · 11/12/2022 14:35

Your "DP" is neglectful.

Munchyseeds2 · 11/12/2022 14:38

She is cruel
Poor dog

AdamRyan · 11/12/2022 14:38

Her day off what? You did the early morning walk, taking the dog out for 5 mins for a poo is hardly onerous. She sounds very uncaring.

PlacidPenelope · 11/12/2022 14:43

Your dp is pathetic, cold and cruel. I would be furious and I wouldn't be leaving an animal or a child in her care, ever.

Testina · 11/12/2022 14:44

Would actually dump someone who left an animal barking to go out for the toilet for over an hour. Not even a bit of laziness wanting to avoid a long walk - though that’s still not fair on the dog. She only had to go out for 5 mins. Would you stay with a girlfriend who kicked your dog? This is similarly distressing.

As it happens, I too wouldn’t have taken your “poor puppy” comment as a dig. So you’re wrong for that. You should have been direct. Not passive aggressive “poor puppy” but a direct, “what the fuck are you playing at, you cruel shit?”

WhaleInAManger · 11/12/2022 14:47

Who sits and sends a message rather than take the dog out, regardless of whose bloody 'day' it is?

Seriously fucked up behaviour.

PlacidPenelope · 11/12/2022 14:49

Have to say I just cannot understand this obsession on MN for 'lie ins' or indeed 'days off'.

Itsabitnotcold · 11/12/2022 14:54

What a horrible person. The dog was barking because it desperately needed a poo and she just left it to suffer.

custardbear · 11/12/2022 14:55

That's horrible! We have a dog and rarely take her out myself as she hurts my back (strong puppy very bouncy! We're training her now!) but I'd absolutely take her if DH was out all day ... and we have a garden!

devildeepbluesea · 11/12/2022 14:57

I must say I’m not warming to your nasty, selfish DP.

Of course YANBU. Cruelty to animals is despicable as well as being deeply unattractive.

Justcallmebebes · 11/12/2022 14:59

Keeping dogs in flats is wrong. End of

sparepantsandtoothbrush · 11/12/2022 15:04

What a dick. If dog was that desperate it would have pooed within a minute of being outside and she could have taken him back in then if she couldn't be bothered to take it for a proper walk. Lazy cow

diddl · 11/12/2022 15:08

So she cares more about making a point than the dog?

What was the point of the pa Whatsapp message?

Did she not want the dog?

SnarkyBag · 11/12/2022 15:09

How stressful for the poor dog to be telling someone they need to go out for the loo and being ignored. I’d have had plenty more to say than “poor puppy”

If all adults are going to take responsibility for this dog at all times when needed then he deserves a better home. Giving a dog access to go to the toilet is the most basic of dog care responsibilities

Rosebel · 11/12/2022 15:11

That's so cruel. We had a dog growing up and my dad used to do the first walk of the day.
If he couldn't for any reason my mum or one of us kids would walk him
Absolutely no way would any of us would have left the dog without a walk regardless of if the dog was barking or not.
She is cruel.

panko · 11/12/2022 15:14

That's so cruel. I'd leave someone that cruel.

OzziePopPop · 11/12/2022 15:19

You don’t get time off with animals unless you hire a decent pet sitter.

Clymene · 11/12/2022 15:19

I hope you dump her. What a shitty human being she is

UrsulaPandress · 11/12/2022 15:20

I’d be bloody furious. What a spiteful neglectful arse your DP is.

Dartmoorcheffy · 11/12/2022 15:23

I don't say this often, but she's a cunt.

LammasEve · 11/12/2022 15:24

You don't get "days off" with animals, if you know something needs to be done and you're the one there you do it. Your DP is disgraceful, not even bothering to take the poor dog for a short walk. I'd be dumping her and keeping the dog.